Confronted by another mom about birthday party

[Anonymous]

If I wanted to confront someone I would ask why my DD wasn't invited (I would never do this). What you described sounds like a misunderstanding not a confrontation.

Once my kids were invited by the dad only to be uninvited later by the mom because there was limited space. Since then our rule is that it must be in writing from the host, no word of mouth.

INot sure what I would have said because I would be more upset about hurting a child than the mom asking. I have added kids who were not originally invited, but heard about it and wanted to come, but it wasn't an intimate setting like a sleepover.

[Anonymous]

Agree your daughter or one of her friends made this girl think she was invited.

[Anonymous]

A few girls in my daughters class used to bully others by saying they were going to invite them to parties then would laugh when the kid walked away. I used to volunteer in the class and witnessed it.

[Anonymous]

For a 13 yo I’d ask my daughter about it before assuming anything. I’m sure she knows. Weird to assume it’s an attack rather than a misunderstanding - do you normally jump to offense, or are you maybe feeling guilty, is your daughter the type to play invite games?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why did OP hide the ball on what she told the mom?

You can tell from the first word of the title that OP was stirring the pot.

OP has not returned, which means either she was just stirring the pot / trolling, or she later found out her DD actually did invite the girl.

[Anonymous]

OP, be gracious. Why not assume that this was all very embarrassing for the other Mother. Why hurt feelings AND/WHILE also assuming the worst of someone. That's really not nice of you.

You should have assumed everyone would be reasonable and explained, with no drama, that she was mistaken.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No way of knowing. I have k own psycho moms who do this sort of passive aggressive confrontations but it also could have been a scenario where the girls had invited her.

If the girls were kind, they wouldn't have talked about it in front of an uninvited kid. There is literally no way that this girl's mom could have known that didn't involve OP's kid, or another invited kid being cruel.

I would cancel the party and tell my daughter that if she wasn't the cruel one she should rethink her friends.

This seems harsh. There is no way of knowing what happened.

[Anonymous]

You couldn’t have been gracious and added one more kid to the sleepover. It is clear your daughter invited her!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So word. She was trying to guilt you into an invite. What a psycho.

I had the same thing happen to me. My daughter had a small party. Her daughter was not invited because she was a mean girl. My daughter did not talk about it or invite her but the night before, the Mom emailed me and said maybe she accidentally deleted my invite? I politely told her it was a small party and she could only invite a few friends. I did not cave in. What a psycho, loser Mom for sure! I was shocked a mom would do that. I have told my daughter from a very young age, you will not be invited to everything. That is life. Move on!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A few girls in my daughters class used to bully others by saying they were going to invite them to parties then would laugh when the kid walked away. I used to volunteer in the class and witnessed it.

I’ve seen it too. They are the mean girls. It starts early unfortunately. Sad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That wasn’t a confrontation! That was a miscommunication!

Don’t doubt this. There are crazy, psycho Mom’s out there who think this is some popularity contest and want their daughter at all these parties and will confront another parent. No shame. It’s not a miscommunication. I have been confronted. So stupid. These kids are in elementary school!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, be gracious. Why not assume that this was all very embarrassing for the other Mother. Why hurt feelings AND/WHILE also assuming the worst of someone. That's really not nice of you.

You should have assumed everyone would be reasonable and explained, with no drama, that she was mistaken.

+1
I have to give the mom props for reaching out. That takes courage. My child has actually missed not one but two birthday parties because the invite was lost and later on the moms asked me why my child did not come/RSVP. My child had told me there was an invite but I just assumed my child was mistaken.

[Anonymous]

The few posts above mine look like OP is weighing in on her own chain just to make herself look less stupid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No way of knowing. I have k own psycho moms who do this sort of passive aggressive confrontations but it also could have been a scenario where the girls had invited her.

If the girls were kind, they wouldn't have talked about it in front of an uninvited kid. There is literally no way that this girl's mom could have known that didn't involve OP's kid, or another invited kid being cruel.

I would cancel the party and tell my daughter that if she wasn't the cruel one she should rethink her friends.

This seems harsh. There is no way of knowing what happened.

Tell me how the mom might have known then.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That wasn’t a confrontation! That was a miscommunication!

Yeah, I think the OP gets this now.