When your kids start staying up later than you do

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm more worried about ever being intimate again.

Everyone has to be asleep before you do it? Get over your sexual hang ups. Be quiet and respectful, then close & lock your door, and have at it.

DP, but I also have this problem. We live in a typical 80s house with a narrow hallway and doors very close to one another. Luckily their staying up later corresponded with more WFH, so we mostly do it during the day now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just FYI, I was on a video chat the other day with my two adult kids, son and daughter, and they were laughingly telling me about all the different times they snuck out at night, how they got away with it, how their friends got away with it, where they went and what they did, what fun it was, etc.

I was a mom who was more savvy and aware of this type of possibility than most other moms I knew, not in denial about it ("not my kids!") and yet.....they did it and got away with it and I was not aware. Even though I snuck out when I was a teen too.

I wonder now, do most parents just not care about this? And by the way, I have always been one who stays up late myself.

If you raise honest kids with integrity this isn't a concern. I was one of these kids and my kids are also these types of kids..... we do exist.

This. My kids (now 18 and 20) never snuck out. Were they out way past cerfew sometimes? Yes. But they told me. I wasn’t thrilled but didn’t make a big deal about it. I’m just glad they told me. They have friends with super strict parent who actually do sneak out among other things. Some friends went on a 6 hour road trip and didn’t tell the parents, until they broke down.

OP and PP with everyone upstairs at 9 are raising the latter. Super strict parenting often backfires.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm more worried about ever being intimate again.

Everyone has to be asleep before you do it? Get over your sexual hang ups. Be quiet and respectful, then close & lock your door, and have at it.

DP, but I also have this problem. We live in a typical 80s house with a narrow hallway and doors very close to one another. Luckily their staying up later corresponded with more WFH, so we mostly do it during the day now.

I cannot be quiet.

[Anonymous]

I also don't know if I will be able to fall asleep knowing someone is awake downstairs.

Surely you realize that competent parenting is about the here-and-now. Not something that might happen, sometime down the future, under some circumstance, you haven't needed to face yet.

[Anonymous]

The intimacy thing freaks me out, as someone who currently has a little kid and looks forward to the teen years! What the heck?? I have no qualms doing stuff with visitors in the house, etc. so I'd hope it would be the same with teen child up and about but I do NOT want any disruption on that front. Any tips from seasoned parents of teens?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm more worried about ever being intimate again.

Everyone has to be asleep before you do it? Get over your sexual hang ups. Be quiet and respectful, then close & lock your door, and have at it.

DP, but I also have this problem. We live in a typical 80s house with a narrow hallway and doors very close to one another. Luckily their staying up later corresponded with more WFH, so we mostly do it during the day now.

I cannot be quiet.

Yes you can. You just don’t want to.

[Anonymous]

You’ll get over all your hang ups and it will be fine. This is not something to worry about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The intimacy thing freaks me out, as someone who currently has a little kid and looks forward to the teen years! What the heck?? I have no qualms doing stuff with visitors in the house, etc. so I'd hope it would be the same with teen child up and about but I do NOT want any disruption on that front. Any tips from seasoned parents of teens?

Lock the door.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have always been a night owl. My parents told me I could stay up as late as I wanted but I had to be in my room after 9 pm.

That's ridiculous beyond a certain age. It would be silly to expect my 15 year old to go to his room at 9.

OP, you'll just have to learn to adapt or be awake, I guess. Lock up before you go to bed and tell your kids to clean up any messes they make. My 15 and 13 year old are only interested in snacky food and fruit at night, so they don't make a mess in the kitchen; it's not like they are cooking. They stay inside; they aren't unlocking any doors.

I've had this rule for a long time. With every time doors open or people walk around, pets are up and awake.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The intimacy thing freaks me out, as someone who currently has a little kid and looks forward to the teen years! What the heck?? I have no qualms doing stuff with visitors in the house, etc. so I'd hope it would be the same with teen child up and about but I do NOT want any disruption on that front. Any tips from seasoned parents of teens?

Lock the doors. Remember that your child is going to know and yet pretend you were moving furniture because they want to think about their parents having sex less than you want to be interrupted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just FYI, I was on a video chat the other day with my two adult kids, son and daughter, and they were laughingly telling me about all the different times they snuck out at night, how they got away with it, how their friends got away with it, where they went and what they did, what fun it was, etc.

I was a mom who was more savvy and aware of this type of possibility than most other moms I knew, not in denial about it ("not my kids!") and yet.....they did it and got away with it and I was not aware. Even though I snuck out when I was a teen too.

I wonder now, do most parents just not care about this? And by the way, I have always been one who stays up late myself.

If you raise honest kids with integrity this isn't a concern. I was one of these kids and my kids are also these types of kids..... we do exist.

This. My kids (now 18 and 20) never snuck out. Were they out way past cerfew sometimes? Yes. But they told me. I wasn’t thrilled but didn’t make a big deal about it. I’m just glad they told me. They have friends with super strict parent who actually do sneak out among other things. Some friends went on a 6 hour road trip and didn’t tell the parents, until they broke down.

OP and PP with everyone upstairs at 9 are raising the latter. Super strict parenting often backfires.

Sure they didn't.

I'm talking about kids ages 13-15 or so. If yours didn't sneak out, which I highly doubt, it was because there was no place to go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The intimacy thing freaks me out, as someone who currently has a little kid and looks forward to the teen years! What the heck?? I have no qualms doing stuff with visitors in the house, etc. so I'd hope it would be the same with teen child up and about but I do NOT want any disruption on that front. Any tips from seasoned parents of teens?

Don’t worry about it. They may hear things. They may know what they are. Most likely they don’t hear because they’re doing other stuff. My kid is currently playing Roblox with her friend and I could drop a load of bricks outside her door without her notice, most likely. If you can’t get over it, put on music, get a white noise machine to put by your door, etc.

But mostly just don’t worry about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The intimacy thing freaks me out, as someone who currently has a little kid and looks forward to the teen years! What the heck?? I have no qualms doing stuff with visitors in the house, etc. so I'd hope it would be the same with teen child up and about but I do NOT want any disruption on that front. Any tips from seasoned parents of teens?

Don’t worry about it. They may hear things. They may know what they are. Most likely they don’t hear because they’re doing other stuff. My kid is currently playing Roblox with her friend and I could drop a load of bricks outside her door without her notice, most likely. If you can’t get over it, put on music, get a white noise machine to put by your door, etc.

But mostly just don’t worry about it.

Trust me, your kid wants alone time too!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The intimacy thing freaks me out, as someone who currently has a little kid and looks forward to the teen years! What the heck?? I have no qualms doing stuff with visitors in the house, etc. so I'd hope it would be the same with teen child up and about but I do NOT want any disruption on that front. Any tips from seasoned parents of teens?

Don’t worry about it. They may hear things. They may know what they are. Most likely they don’t hear because they’re doing other stuff. My kid is currently playing Roblox with her friend and I could drop a load of bricks outside her door without her notice, most likely. If you can’t get over it, put on music, get a white noise machine to put by your door, etc.

But mostly just don’t worry about it.

Trust me, your kid wants alone time too!

Ha these are all good points, thank you for talking me off a ledge! I love quality time with my DH and can't wait til we don't have to pay babysitters for date nights, etc. so there will be great aspects to the teen years I'm sure!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just FYI, I was on a video chat the other day with my two adult kids, son and daughter, and they were laughingly telling me about all the different times they snuck out at night, how they got away with it, how their friends got away with it, where they went and what they did, what fun it was, etc.

I was a mom who was more savvy and aware of this type of possibility than most other moms I knew, not in denial about it ("not my kids!") and yet.....they did it and got away with it and I was not aware. Even though I snuck out when I was a teen too.

I wonder now, do most parents just not care about this? And by the way, I have always been one who stays up late myself.

If you raise honest kids with integrity this isn't a concern. I was one of these kids and my kids are also these types of kids..... we do exist.

This. My kids (now 18 and 20) never snuck out. Were they out way past cerfew sometimes? Yes. But they told me. I wasn’t thrilled but didn’t make a big deal about it. I’m just glad they told me. They have friends with super strict parent who actually do sneak out among other things. Some friends went on a 6 hour road trip and didn’t tell the parents, until they broke down.

OP and PP with everyone upstairs at 9 are raising the latter. Super strict parenting often backfires.

Sure they didn't.

I'm talking about kids ages 13-15 or so. If yours didn't sneak out, which I highly doubt, it was because there was no place to go.

You’re raising degenerates if they have to sneak out.