When your kids start staying up later than you do

[Anonymous]

Right now my kids are little (8 years old and younger) so I put them to bed every night and then I have an hour or so to myself or with my spouse until we go to bed. We are usually upstairs around 10:30 at the latest. I assume at some point my kids might be staying up later than we do. How do you handle things like locking up and making sure everything is cleaned up? Right now I clean up everything after the kids go to bed (they help with their stuff before bed), wipe down all the counters, make sure dishes are put away and the house is tidy before bed.

I also don't know if I will be able to fall asleep knowing someone is awake downstairs. Whenever a kid wakes up before me in the mornings I can literally feel the house shift and then I wake up and go downstairs. Even if its my older child who is perfectly find by herself for 30 mins in the morning I cannot fall back asleep once I know she is awake.

[Anonymous]

My 13 year old is starting to stay up later than us sometimes. He is supposed to turn off the lights when he goes to bed. If needed, I would ask him to clean up after himself - whatever mess he made after I went to bed.

[Anonymous]

I'm more worried about ever being intimate again.

[Anonymous]

We still lock up before we go to bed. The kids know to turn off the lights & tv and clean up any messes in the kitchen.

If they fail to do any of these things, they lose the privilege of staying up late for a few days. We then make them go to bed when we do at around 10:30 and turn on our motion detectors for the bottom floor.

[Anonymous]

I have always been a night owl. My parents told me I could stay up as late as I wanted but I had to be in my room after 9 pm.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have always been a night owl. My parents told me I could stay up as late as I wanted but I had to be in my room after 9 pm.

That's ridiculous beyond a certain age. It would be silly to expect my 15 year old to go to his room at 9.

OP, you'll just have to learn to adapt or be awake, I guess. Lock up before you go to bed and tell your kids to clean up any messes they make. My 15 and 13 year old are only interested in snacky food and fruit at night, so they don't make a mess in the kitchen; it's not like they are cooking. They stay inside; they aren't unlocking any doors.

[Anonymous]

OP, your perspective will change when they’re older. You wont worry about them being up bc they wont need enough supervision. I would even worry about this now.

[Anonymous]

They know how to lock up and to stop eating two hours before bed so the kitchen is clean before I go to bed and they know how to clean up after themselves. At a respectable time they go to their rooms even if they're staying up late.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have always been a night owl. My parents told me I could stay up as late as I wanted but I had to be in my room after 9 pm.

That's ridiculous beyond a certain age. It would be silly to expect my 15 year old to go to his room at 9.

OP, you'll just have to learn to adapt or be awake, I guess. Lock up before you go to bed and tell your kids to clean up any messes they make. My 15 and 13 year old are only interested in snacky food and fruit at night, so they don't make a mess in the kitchen; it's not like they are cooking. They stay inside; they aren't unlocking any doors.

Yes all of this.

For the person worried about sex, we have sex during the day when the kids are out. I work from home FT and DH does 2-3 days a week.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Right now my kids are little (8 years old and younger) so I put them to bed every night and then I have an hour or so to myself or with my spouse until we go to bed. We are usually upstairs around 10:30 at the latest. I assume at some point my kids might be staying up later than we do. How do you handle things like locking up and making sure everything is cleaned up? Right now I clean up everything after the kids go to bed (they help with their stuff before bed), wipe down all the counters, make sure dishes are put away and the house is tidy before bed.

I also don't know if I will be able to fall asleep knowing someone is awake downstairs. Whenever a kid wakes up before me in the mornings I can literally feel the house shift and then I wake up and go downstairs. Even if its my older child who is perfectly find by herself for 30 mins in the morning I cannot fall back asleep once I know she is awake.

Land the chopper, Mom. You're borrowing trouble.
Teens will go into the kitchen after you go to bed - precisely because they don't want to see/talk to you. They may leave crumbs on the counter. You will live. This will be the very least of your worries when you have a teen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Right now my kids are little (8 years old and younger) so I put them to bed every night and then I have an hour or so to myself or with my spouse until we go to bed. We are usually upstairs around 10:30 at the latest. I assume at some point my kids might be staying up later than we do. How do you handle things like locking up and making sure everything is cleaned up? Right now I clean up everything after the kids go to bed (they help with their stuff before bed), wipe down all the counters, make sure dishes are put away and the house is tidy before bed.

I also don't know if I will be able to fall asleep knowing someone is awake downstairs. Whenever a kid wakes up before me in the mornings I can literally feel the house shift and then I wake up and go downstairs. Even if its my older child who is perfectly find by herself for 30 mins in the morning I cannot fall back asleep once I know she is awake.

Land the chopper, Mom. You're borrowing trouble.
Teens will go into the kitchen after you go to bed - precisely because they don't want to see/talk to you. They may leave crumbs on the counter. You will live. This will be the very least of your worries when you have a teen.

+1. I am happy when the kids are home making a little noise in the kitchen -means they are both home. My kids have been going to bed after me for many years, starting in about 8th grade. They know how to lock up, clean up the kitchen and stay relatively quiet when others are sleeping. They definitely do not wipe down the counters but I do not stay awake for that. It's just a different routine - but don't worry, OP, you'll be ready when it's time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have always been a night owl. My parents told me I could stay up as late as I wanted but I had to be in my room after 9 pm.

That's ridiculous beyond a certain age. It would be silly to expect my 15 year old to go to his room at 9.

OP, you'll just have to learn to adapt or be awake, I guess. Lock up before you go to bed and tell your kids to clean up any messes they make. My 15 and 13 year old are only interested in snacky food and fruit at night, so they don't make a mess in the kitchen; it's not like they are cooking. They stay inside; they aren't unlocking any doors.

You sound like you live in a house where the kids make the house rules and you abide. It is clear that DH and I make the rules and when the kids buy their own house, they make the rules. Our house rule is everyone upstairs at 9, including us. That's the house wind down time. No screens, no food after this time. My kids already clean up after themselves (another house rule) at 6, 10, and 14 yo, so I don't have to clean anything before I go up. Last person up turns off the lights (another rule). I check the locks, as does DH. We live Georgetown, so we normally leave them locked even during the day, but occasionally the kids leave the backdoor to the yard unlocked.

My 6 yo goes up at 7. The 10 yo up at 8. Everyone else at 9. I'm in bed by 930. My 14 yo will read to all hours of the night, but she is learning the consequences of that behavior, so hopefully soon she'll be more responsible. She doesn't have a "bed time".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have always been a night owl. My parents told me I could stay up as late as I wanted but I had to be in my room after 9 pm.

That's ridiculous beyond a certain age. It would be silly to expect my 15 year old to go to his room at 9.

OP, you'll just have to learn to adapt or be awake, I guess. Lock up before you go to bed and tell your kids to clean up any messes they make. My 15 and 13 year old are only interested in snacky food and fruit at night, so they don't make a mess in the kitchen; it's not like they are cooking. They stay inside; they aren't unlocking any doors.

You sound like you live in a house where the kids make the house rules and you abide. It is clear that DH and I make the rules and when the kids buy their own house, they make the rules. Our house rule is everyone upstairs at 9, including us. That's the house wind down time. No screens, no food after this time. My kids already clean up after themselves (another house rule) at 6, 10, and 14 yo, so I don't have to clean anything before I go up. Last person up turns off the lights (another rule). I check the locks, as does DH. We live Georgetown, so we normally leave them locked even during the day, but occasionally the kids leave the backdoor to the yard unlocked.

My 6 yo goes up at 7. The 10 yo up at 8. Everyone else at 9. I'm in bed by 930. My 14 yo will read to all hours of the night, but she is learning the consequences of that behavior, so hopefully soon she'll be more responsible. She doesn't have a "bed time".

This is OP and this sounds insane. 9pm?!? Many nights my DH isn't done working until 10pm in his home office. You require everyone to go upstairs at 9pm every night? That sounds depressing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have always been a night owl. My parents told me I could stay up as late as I wanted but I had to be in my room after 9 pm.

That's ridiculous beyond a certain age. It would be silly to expect my 15 year old to go to his room at 9.

OP, you'll just have to learn to adapt or be awake, I guess. Lock up before you go to bed and tell your kids to clean up any messes they make. My 15 and 13 year old are only interested in snacky food and fruit at night, so they don't make a mess in the kitchen; it's not like they are cooking. They stay inside; they aren't unlocking any doors.

You sound like you live in a house where the kids make the house rules and you abide. It is clear that DH and I make the rules and when the kids buy their own house, they make the rules. Our house rule is everyone upstairs at 9, including us. That's the house wind down time. No screens, no food after this time. My kids already clean up after themselves (another house rule) at 6, 10, and 14 yo, so I don't have to clean anything before I go up. Last person up turns off the lights (another rule). I check the locks, as does DH. We live Georgetown, so we normally leave them locked even during the day, but occasionally the kids leave the backdoor to the yard unlocked.




My 6 yo goes up at 7. The 10 yo up at 8. Everyone else at 9. I'm in bed by 930. My 14 yo will read to all hours of the night, but she is learning the consequences of that behavior, so hopefully soon she'll be more responsible. She doesn't have a "bed time".

This is OP and this sounds insane. 9pm?!? Many nights my DH isn't done working until 10pm in his home office. You require everyone to go upstairs at 9pm every night? That sounds depressing.

PP here and that is insane. My kids are older teens and they absolutely do not go upstairs at 9. Many nights they aren't even home at 9. Parenting is about shifting priorities as your kids get older. Older kids have sports, activities, see friends, have jobs and do as they please as long as they are quiet, keep in touch and clean up after themselves, which they of course do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Right now my kids are little (8 years old and younger) so I put them to bed every night and then I have an hour or so to myself or with my spouse until we go to bed. We are usually upstairs around 10:30 at the latest. I assume at some point my kids might be staying up later than we do. How do you handle things like locking up and making sure everything is cleaned up? Right now I clean up everything after the kids go to bed (they help with their stuff before bed), wipe down all the counters, make sure dishes are put away and the house is tidy before bed.

I also don't know if I will be able to fall asleep knowing someone is awake downstairs. Whenever a kid wakes up before me in the mornings I can literally feel the house shift and then I wake up and go downstairs. Even if its my older child who is perfectly find by herself for 30 mins in the morning I cannot fall back asleep once I know she is awake.

Land the chopper, Mom. You're borrowing trouble.
Teens will go into the kitchen after you go to bed - precisely because they don't want to see/talk to you. They may leave crumbs on the counter. You will live. This will be the very least of your worries when you have a teen.

Ffs I can't believe you all dont train your kids to clean after themselves! We even have a live in maid and my kids grew up learning how to clean after themselves. I agree the worries are more psychosocial, nothing to do with bed times. Although a good night time route helps them regulate the psychosocial.