Making religious comments without thinking

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a member of a religious minority, being asked what church I go to makes me very uncomfortable because there's a decent chance that a truthful answer will be met with prejudice and hostility.

Really? Has it ever happened, or is it as yet an unfounded fear you have?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Even though we live in a secular democracy, our world is more prone to religious thinking than it is to secular thinking. In real-life small talk and in comments on message boards like this one, people often put things in a religious context, sometimes without realizing or intending it. For people who want to be more sensitive about this when in a non-religious setting, here are some comments to avoid:

- “What church do you go to?”

- “I’ll pray for you.”

And a recent response on this forum to a former Southern Baptist who became an atheist:

- “This is why crap religions piss me off. You shouldn’t be denied a relationship with the eternal energy.”

(pp either doesn’t know or doesn’t care that atheists don’t believe in an eternal energy and thus don’t think in terms of being denied it.)

- “God bless you.”

(Even atheists will say “God bless you” after someone sneezes. It’s automatic! They don’t realize they’ve said it until it’s out. It’s not meant religiously even among religious people. It’s just our way of acknowledging a sneeze. Maybe we could get used to the European focus on health -- “Salud” or “Gesundheit.”)

Any other examples or ideas on how to handle it? Hope to hear from both religious and non-religious people.

Bless your heart!


Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the FREE EXERCISE thereof;

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Even though we live in a secular democracy, our world is more prone to religious thinking than it is to secular thinking. In real-life small talk and in comments on message boards like this one, people often put things in a religious context, sometimes without realizing or intending it. For people who want to be more sensitive about this when in a non-religious setting, here are some comments to avoid:

- “What church do you go to?”

- “I’ll pray for you.”

And a recent response on this forum to a former Southern Baptist who became an atheist:

- “This is why crap religions piss me off. You shouldn’t be denied a relationship with the eternal energy.”

(pp either doesn’t know or doesn’t care that atheists don’t believe in an eternal energy and thus don’t think in terms of being denied it.)

- “God bless you.”

(Even atheists will say “God bless you” after someone sneezes. It’s automatic! They don’t realize they’ve said it until it’s out. It’s not meant religiously even among religious people. It’s just our way of acknowledging a sneeze. Maybe we could get used to the European focus on health -- “Salud” or “Gesundheit.”)

Any other examples or ideas on how to handle it? Hope to hear from both religious and non-religious people.

You don't get to tell me how to live with my faith.

How to handle it? Not be a bigot

OK so no one gets to tell you how to deal with your faith, but you get to tell others how to deal with theirs.

You get to make religious statements to non-religious people, but they don't get to say what they believe to you.

That sounds very Christian to me.

You don't have a belief to express. But yes, biting back if a Christian says God bless or Muslim says inshaallah or whatever is obnoxious. Just live your life without needing to be argumentative or nasty. Live and let live

I don't have a belief to express? Says who?

How about this: you keep your beliefs to yourself and we'll have no problem at all. But that's not what you want. You want yours to be the only acceptable ones. Sorry, no. At least not until you are successful in getting your theocracy to change the constitution.

So if you get to say your religious things, people with different beliefs get to say theirs. Like the fact that there is insufficient evidence for what you believe and it is likely untrue.

/ps when people sneeze I say "salut" and it always works.

Do you attempt to correct coworkers and bosses explaining how their religious practices offend you and are "untrue?" just curious how that works

The point. You missed it. By a mile.

DP. OP (you?) asked how to handle religious language and the atheist’s post in question is quite aggressive, so there’s that.

Umm it was in response to

You don't get to tell me how to live with my faith.

How to handle it? Not be a bigot

Followed by

You don't have a belief to express.

Still feel it was "quite aggressive"? Which part?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Saying "I'm not religious" also works well for me & easily shuts down any religious geared conversations.

I just say bless you. If someone wants to pray for me I equate it to sending good thoughts or well wishes, though thinking of you is so much more appropriate imo.

I do much prefer my atheist friends to my christian friends -- the older I get, the more my christian friends feel completely unrelatable. I just find religion so sad, and that it's hard to know the user really truly believes it all and carries so much guilt and shame, which having grown up religious, I've found to be highly damaging emotions to have fostered. It's also hard for me to see how religious parents force it onto their children.

Christians may carry guilt and shame, but they also have hope for eternal life and seeing their loved ones again.

Yes but that's part of the problem, christians believe those things are part of and exclusive to their christianity. Hearing their elitism at funerals is really something.

Listening to the racket about how overjoyed they are that their "loved one" died is another glad I'm not religious moment.

Having a soul is not some novel christian concept yet they seem to believe it is and work it into conversations often, but with all these religious twists.

Is there a way to convey to them that you don't believe what they do?

DP. But there's no need to do this. Esp.not at a funeral. Let them believe what they want if it gives them comfort. I don't have a problem with that, as long as they don't expect me to believe it.

Their funerals their business yes... though I still don't think its healthy for society in general to use their superiority the way its used. It's that they project that same view at the funerals of non-followers, like believing someone who died by suicide, or enacted MAID is going to hell.

+1 - has this actually happened?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Even though we live in a secular democracy, our world is more prone to religious thinking than it is to secular thinking. In real-life small talk and in comments on message boards like this one, people often put things in a religious context, sometimes without realizing or intending it. For people who want to be more sensitive about this when in a non-religious setting, here are some comments to avoid:

- “What church do you go to?”

- “I’ll pray for you.”

And a recent response on this forum to a former Southern Baptist who became an atheist:

- “This is why crap religions piss me off. You shouldn’t be denied a relationship with the eternal energy.”

(pp either doesn’t know or doesn’t care that atheists don’t believe in an eternal energy and thus don’t think in terms of being denied it.)

- “God bless you.”

(Even atheists will say “God bless you” after someone sneezes. It’s automatic! They don’t realize they’ve said it until it’s out. It’s not meant religiously even among religious people. It’s just our way of acknowledging a sneeze. Maybe we could get used to the European focus on health -- “Salud” or “Gesundheit.”)

Any other examples or ideas on how to handle it? Hope to hear from both religious and non-religious people.

You don't get to tell me how to live with my faith.

How to handle it? Not be a bigot

OK so no one gets to tell you how to deal with your faith, but you get to tell others how to deal with theirs.

You get to make religious statements to non-religious people, but they don't get to say what they believe to you.

That sounds very Christian to me.

You don't have a belief to express. But yes, biting back if a Christian says God bless or Muslim says inshaallah or whatever is obnoxious. Just live your life without needing to be argumentative or nasty. Live and let live

I don't have a belief to express? Says who?

How about this: you keep your beliefs to yourself and we'll have no problem at all. But that's not what you want. You want yours to be the only acceptable ones. Sorry, no. At least not until you are successful in getting your theocracy to change the constitution.

So if you get to say your religious things, people with different beliefs get to say theirs. Like the fact that there is insufficient evidence for what you believe and it is likely untrue.

/ps when people sneeze I say "salut" and it always works.

^ yeah, but you have to pick your battles in this life. I basically agree with you but have never seen it necessary to tell them to keep their religious comments to themselves. I agree with that pp above, most of it is innocent stuff that can be overlooked.

A few years ago it was considered innocent stuff to make fun of gay people. I don't recall anyone ever telling straight people to stop doing it, but somehow it changed. It wasn't acceptable or cool any more. Maybe some day it won't be acceptable to talk to people as if everyone is religious.

[Anonymous]

How about this - try hard to take offense only when you are certain offense was intended.

Otherwise, don’t be so fragile.

You can say what you want to whomever you want to say it to, other people can do the same. In every situation, an individual can also decide how they are going to feel about what is said and deal with any (potential) fall out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Even though we live in a secular democracy, our world is more prone to religious thinking than it is to secular thinking. In real-life small talk and in comments on message boards like this one, people often put things in a religious context, sometimes without realizing or intending it. For people who want to be more sensitive about this when in a non-religious setting, here are some comments to avoid:

- “What church do you go to?”

- “I’ll pray for you.”

And a recent response on this forum to a former Southern Baptist who became an atheist:

- “This is why crap religions piss me off. You shouldn’t be denied a relationship with the eternal energy.”

(pp either doesn’t know or doesn’t care that atheists don’t believe in an eternal energy and thus don’t think in terms of being denied it.)

- “God bless you.”

(Even atheists will say “God bless you” after someone sneezes. It’s automatic! They don’t realize they’ve said it until it’s out. It’s not meant religiously even among religious people. It’s just our way of acknowledging a sneeze. Maybe we could get used to the European focus on health -- “Salud” or “Gesundheit.”)

Any other examples or ideas on how to handle it? Hope to hear from both religious and non-religious people.

Bless your heart!


Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the FREE EXERCISE thereof;

How do you define "Free exercise"?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I will say I think OP is kind of trolling but I was at a bar the other night and was talking to a guy casually and kind of jokingly told him to give me his elevator pitch of who he was as a person and he kicked it off with 'I am a God fearing Christian' or something like that and I have to admit it took effort to keep the surprise off my face.

Of course there's nothing wrong with that, but it seemed like a very intense way to talk to a girl at a bar who was wearing black lipstick haha.

OP here. Definitely not trolling – genuinely curious, especially when I realized that as a society, we have managed to try to be kind to people who are in the minority. For example, the term "fag" and the usually pejoratively expressed “homosexual” changed over time to “gay” – a positive word. And Now there’s LGBTQ.

As a society, we’re moving away from unconsciously stigmatizing people who are not in the majority. I’d like to see it happen with people who don’t believe in God, too.

I’d sure like to hear from some religious people who think it’s a good idea to avoid using religious speech in secular settings.

[Anonymous]

"What church do you go to?"
- "I don't"

"I'll pray for you."
- "Thanks"

I take "I'll pray for you" in the same sentiment as "I hope things go well", or similar.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will say I think OP is kind of trolling but I was at a bar the other night and was talking to a guy casually and kind of jokingly told him to give me his elevator pitch of who he was as a person and he kicked it off with 'I am a God fearing Christian' or something like that and I have to admit it took effort to keep the surprise off my face.

Of course there's nothing wrong with that, but it seemed like a very intense way to talk to a girl at a bar who was wearing black lipstick haha.

OP here. Definitely not trolling – genuinely curious, especially when I realized that as a society, we have managed to try to be kind to people who are in the minority. For example, the term "fag" and the usually pejoratively expressed “homosexual” changed over time to “gay” – a positive word. And Now there’s LGBTQ.

As a society, we’re moving away from unconsciously stigmatizing people who are not in the majority. I’d like to see it happen with people who don’t believe in God, too.

I’d sure like to hear from some religious people who think it’s a good idea to avoid using religious speech in secular settings.

I'm the pp and an atheist and think you're being a little melodramatic (and TBH I think a lot of the LGBT stuff is a little melodramatic too and I'm very liberal pro 'let people do what they want'). If we police language to the point that no one feels they can insert any of themselves in the words because they are worried about otherizing someone else then that is ridiculous. That guy opened with that and hey I didn't continue the conversation very far. I found out we didn't have much in common! I wasn't insulted. If someone says god bless you they aren't trying to hurt you. We can't become like the lunatics who think anyone wishing them happy holidays is personally trying to punch them in the face with words. Most people are just trying to be themselves and be kind. I give everyone the benefit of the doubt!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will say I think OP is kind of trolling but I was at a bar the other night and was talking to a guy casually and kind of jokingly told him to give me his elevator pitch of who he was as a person and he kicked it off with 'I am a God fearing Christian' or something like that and I have to admit it took effort to keep the surprise off my face.

Of course there's nothing wrong with that, but it seemed like a very intense way to talk to a girl at a bar who was wearing black lipstick haha.

OP here. Definitely not trolling – genuinely curious, especially when I realized that as a society, we have managed to try to be kind to people who are in the minority. For example, the term "fag" and the usually pejoratively expressed “homosexual” changed over time to “gay” – a positive word. And Now there’s LGBTQ.

As a society, we’re moving away from unconsciously stigmatizing people who are not in the majority. I’d like to see it happen with people who don’t believe in God, too.

I’d sure like to hear from some religious people who think it’s a good idea to avoid using religious speech in secular settings.

I'm the pp and an atheist and think you're being a little melodramatic (and TBH I think a lot of the LGBT stuff is a little melodramatic too and I'm very liberal pro 'let people do what they want'). If we police language to the point that no one feels they can insert any of themselves in the words because they are worried about otherizing someone else then that is ridiculous. That guy opened with that and hey I didn't continue the conversation very far. I found out we didn't have much in common! I wasn't insulted. If someone says god bless you they aren't trying to hurt you. We can't become like the lunatics who think anyone wishing them happy holidays is personally trying to punch them in the face with words. Most people are just trying to be themselves and be kind. I give everyone the benefit of the doubt!

I agree - most people are not trying to be hateful. I think they are just unconsciously being thoughtless, just like people were a few years ago, when they called LQBTQ people fags, under their breath, or made those little hand flips (remember those?) the way they assumed gays did. And LGBTQ people felt they had to pretend to be straight to fit into a straight world.

Plus, it's much easier to pass as a non-religious person. A lot of us know how to fit in because religion is so pervasive and/or because we once were religious ourselves.

We can blend more easily, no question about it. I just don't think we're doing ourselves or others a favor when we do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"What church do you go to?"
- "I don't"

"I'll pray for you."
- "Thanks"

I take "I'll pray for you" in the same sentiment as "I hope things go well", or similar.

Yes, that's what they mean - and someday soon I hope that is what they will say if they know you're not religious.

And I hope that you say "I hope things go well" and not "I'll pray for you"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Even though we live in a secular democracy, our world is more prone to religious thinking than it is to secular thinking. In real-life small talk and in comments on message boards like this one, people often put things in a religious context, sometimes without realizing or intending it. For people who want to be more sensitive about this when in a non-religious setting, here are some comments to avoid:

- “What church do you go to?”

- “I’ll pray for you.”

And a recent response on this forum to a former Southern Baptist who became an atheist:

- “This is why crap religions piss me off. You shouldn’t be denied a relationship with the eternal energy.”

(pp either doesn’t know or doesn’t care that atheists don’t believe in an eternal energy and thus don’t think in terms of being denied it.)

- “God bless you.”

(Even atheists will say “God bless you” after someone sneezes. It’s automatic! They don’t realize they’ve said it until it’s out. It’s not meant religiously even among religious people. It’s just our way of acknowledging a sneeze. Maybe we could get used to the European focus on health -- “Salud” or “Gesundheit.”)

Any other examples or ideas on how to handle it? Hope to hear from both religious and non-religious people.

No American is, or can be forced to be a member of, or attend, or contribute to, or believe the teachings of, any church or religion.

However, America never has been a secular nation. The majority of those who live in this country are, and have always been, religious.

Many Americans practice Christianity, their individual beliefs have influenced society.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Even though we live in a secular democracy, our world is more prone to religious thinking than it is to secular thinking. In real-life small talk and in comments on message boards like this one, people often put things in a religious context, sometimes without realizing or intending it. For people who want to be more sensitive about this when in a non-religious setting, here are some comments to avoid:

- “What church do you go to?”

- “I’ll pray for you.”

And a recent response on this forum to a former Southern Baptist who became an atheist:

- “This is why crap religions piss me off. You shouldn’t be denied a relationship with the eternal energy.”

(pp either doesn’t know or doesn’t care that atheists don’t believe in an eternal energy and thus don’t think in terms of being denied it.)

- “God bless you.”

(Even atheists will say “God bless you” after someone sneezes. It’s automatic! They don’t realize they’ve said it until it’s out. It’s not meant religiously even among religious people. It’s just our way of acknowledging a sneeze. Maybe we could get used to the European focus on health -- “Salud” or “Gesundheit.”)

Any other examples or ideas on how to handle it? Hope to hear from both religious and non-religious people.

No American is, or can be forced to be a member of, or attend, or contribute to, or believe the teachings of, any church or religion.

However, America never has been a secular nation. The majority of those who live in this country are, and have always been, religious.

Many Americans practice Christianity, their individual beliefs have influenced society.

WTF?

America never has been a secular nation

This is as wrong as a fact can be. Our constitution has no mention of god or christ other than to say "make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof". Meaning the USA is staying out of the religion business. This was not an accident or an oversight by our founding fathers. Stop wishcasting for your theocracy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Even though we live in a secular democracy, our world is more prone to religious thinking than it is to secular thinking. In real-life small talk and in comments on message boards like this one, people often put things in a religious context, sometimes without realizing or intending it. For people who want to be more sensitive about this when in a non-religious setting, here are some comments to avoid:

- “What church do you go to?”

- “I’ll pray for you.”

And a recent response on this forum to a former Southern Baptist who became an atheist:

- “This is why crap religions piss me off. You shouldn’t be denied a relationship with the eternal energy.”

(pp either doesn’t know or doesn’t care that atheists don’t believe in an eternal energy and thus don’t think in terms of being denied it.)

- “God bless you.”

(Even atheists will say “God bless you” after someone sneezes. It’s automatic! They don’t realize they’ve said it until it’s out. It’s not meant religiously even among religious people. It’s just our way of acknowledging a sneeze. Maybe we could get used to the European focus on health -- “Salud” or “Gesundheit.”)

Any other examples or ideas on how to handle it? Hope to hear from both religious and non-religious people.

No American is, or can be forced to be a member of, or attend, or contribute to, or believe the teachings of, any church or religion.

However, America never has been a secular nation. The majority of those who live in this country are, and have always been, religious.

Many Americans practice Christianity, their individual beliefs have influenced society.

WTF?

America never has been a secular nation

This is as wrong as a fact can be. Our constitution has no mention of god or christ other than to say "make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof". Meaning the USA is staying out of the religion business. This was not an accident or an oversight by our founding fathers. Stop wishcasting for your theocracy.

+1