How to have truthful age appropriate kid conversations about wealth

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Safety, safety, safety, safety

OP, kids get kidnapped over this level of wealth.

Since you have already disclosed to her that you are 1%ers you really need to emphasize to her that this is extremely confidential.

LOL. OP’s kid almost certainly goes to private school and is surrounded by even wealthier kids every day.

Maybe not, we're top 1% at public

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Safety, safety, safety, safety

OP, kids get kidnapped over this level of wealth.

Since you have already disclosed to her that you are 1%ers you really need to emphasize to her that this is extremely confidential.

OP’s kids’ classmates can Google OP if they want to. There’s this cool thing called the internet now. You can also see who owns which house & what they paid for it!

[Anonymous]

Do not share your exact numbers or even range of percentage with her. Look at some of the nasty comments here! Your dd goes to school with kids of people who loathe your status. She may unwittingly disclose a bit to the wrong kid and it will cause some animosity and jealous frenemy treatment. In high school the chances of a supportive peer group are slim. I know you must be thinking of how important it is to teach her budgeting with an income and real life expenses but that is a luxury you don't get. Focus on more narrow aspects of your income streams with lower dollar amounts. You have a lot to work with, there is no need to disclose it all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Safety, safety, safety, safety

OP, kids get kidnapped over this level of wealth.

Since you have already disclosed to her that you are 1%ers you really need to emphasize to her that this is extremely confidential.

LOL. OP’s kid almost certainly goes to private school and is surrounded by even wealthier kids every day.

Maybe not, we're top 1% at public

We are another public school family (1%er)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I also suggest to find out why she really wants to know.

+1 Is she interested because of the math? Planning her future? Competition with friends? Then answer/deal with the actual issue in question.

+2 OP this can be an ongoing conversation but at each stage, you need to know what she is asking and why.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do not share your exact numbers or even range of percentage with her. Look at some of the nasty comments here! Your dd goes to school with kids of people who loathe your status. She may unwittingly disclose a bit to the wrong kid and it will cause some animosity and jealous frenemy treatment. In high school the chances of a supportive peer group are slim. I know you must be thinking of how important it is to teach her budgeting with an income and real life expenses but that is a luxury you don't get. Focus on more narrow aspects of your income streams with lower dollar amounts. You have a lot to work with, there is no need to disclose it all.

This. Focus on life skills. Focus on work ethic.

I had a date tell me his Mom was worth 18 million. He also mentioned each kid was worth several million. This was on our 3rd date. I was 23 or so at the time. Even as a 23 year old I knew his disclosure was way inappropriate.

I'd talk to a professional therapist for a script on how to respond.

It is not age appropriate to disclose your net worth to a 9th grader.

[Anonymous]

"Larla, this is a private matter between Mom and Dad.

You are responsible for the monies that you earn and for your personal budgets."

[Anonymous]

I can't imagine a scenario in which your child needs to know this. Even school applications I'd be surprised if it is needed. You clearly won't be applying for financial aid! I agree with the posters saying figure out why your child is asking and address that. If you do tell your child, you should fully expect her to share that info with someone else at some point. I had a college roommate freaking out that her parents were retiring with a quarter of a million dollars (which seemed like a ton to us back then). I'd imagine her parents wouldn't have wanted her to share that and probably told her not to. She was a straight A student (STEM major too), super responsible, and still...

[Anonymous]

You don’t want to raise a bunch of layabout Roys so make sure you emphasize formal education & investing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Safety, safety, safety, safety

OP, kids get kidnapped over this level of wealth.

Since you have already disclosed to her that you are 1%ers you really need to emphasize to her that this is extremely confidential.

LOL. OP’s kid almost certainly goes to private school and is surrounded by even wealthier kids every day.

Maybe not, we're top 1% at public

Op here. Our kids go to public school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Safety, safety, safety, safety

OP, kids get kidnapped over this level of wealth.

Since you have already disclosed to her that you are 1%ers you really need to emphasize to her that this is extremely confidential.

LOL. OP’s kid almost certainly goes to private school and is surrounded by even wealthier kids every day.

Maybe not, we're top 1% at public

Op here. Our kids go to public school.

What caliber? DCPS? Chantilly? Bethesda? Westport CT? Palo Alto?

[Anonymous]

Could she be anxious about money security?
My mom is a budgeting queen but left her kids with money anxiety when there was no need. I don't know how I'll instill in my kids the benefits of caution and saving without the worries of impending doom.

[Anonymous]

Well, my dad was very candid about how much he made, and I knew how much my mother made because she did her taxes in front of us kids. But we were nowhere near rich. Your daughter is at risk at being taken advantage of. I would have told her that your family is privileged to be extremely financially secure, but I would not have given an exact number or percentage. But now that she knows you must tell her to keep it private and to get a job like every other teenager. I like the idea of giving her money to invest and donate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I also suggest to find out why she really wants to know.

+1 Is she interested because of the math? Planning her future? Competition with friends? Then answer/deal with the actual issue in question.

+2 OP this can be an ongoing conversation but at each stage, you need to know what she is asking and why.

OP, find out why she is asking but understand it is okay for you to have firm boundaries about you not releasing your net worth and not releasing your income and this being private between you and your husband. I can't imagine any scenario in which I would want a 9th grader to know the family was a 1%er family.

Even if you were a teacher and a paramedic couple your ninth grader does not have to know your income and net worth.

Move the focus to her getting a part time job etc.

[Anonymous]

Your investment platform, your investment rep etc will have written materials, webinars, and in person seminars on how to talk to your kids about money if you are a high net worth family.

Talk to your rep about resources for you.