How to have truthful age appropriate kid conversations about wealth

[Anonymous]

Your kid is either being nosy or genuinely interested in finances. I’m assuming the latter. I’d focus more on the financial lessons they need to learn to make good decisions with their own money in the future. You can teach all of that without telling them exactly how much you make.

I’d probably give them a several thousand to invest and teach them how to create financial success from it. Buy beginning finance books, magazines, teach them how to read a prospectus, choose funds, etc.

Tell them they can see your finances after they make 10 times the starting amount you give them. Large numbers like you deal with probably won’t make much sense to someone trying to learn finances anyways, much easier to start small.

[Anonymous]

They absolutely do NOT need to know. Not until they're applying to college. I would just say in response to "Top 1% or top .1%" the answer is 'You don't need to know that level of detail at this point in your life. You get everything you need and some of the things you want, and we won't have you go into debt to get an education."

I don't tell my kids exactly how much we earn. They don't need that information for any reason.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They absolutely do NOT need to know. Not until they're applying to college. I would just say in response to "Top 1% or top .1%" the answer is 'You don't need to know that level of detail at this point in your life. You get everything you need and some of the things you want, and we won't have you go into debt to get an education."

I don't tell my kids exactly how much we earn. They don't need that information for any reason.

Exactly this.

And why are you embarrassed about your wealth? No pride or sense of accomplishment? That needs to be addressed.

[Anonymous]

“I don’t sit around calculating what 0. decimal our annual income puts us compared to the rest of the US, because it doesn’t matter. What matters to us is (fill in the blank: example - we have a home that we feel safe in, a family who cares for each other, and that we can provide you with the activities you want to pursue so you can figure out what is worthwhile to do with your life).”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I don’t feel guilty. I feel embarrassed.

What's the difference?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I never tell people how much we earn, not even my kids. It’s not their business and my wealth is not going to change the fact that they have to make it on their own. They will be lucky enough to not have student loan debt - we’re not financing their lifestyles.

This. No way would I disclose what is earned to our kids.

Shift the conversation to the importance of work and where the high school student plans on working this summer.

[Anonymous]

Wow, I would not have told the 9th grader you are 1%ers.

Shift the conversation to talk of summer jobs.

[Anonymous]

Your investment platform/advisor probably has printed material or in person seminars about talking to children about your family wealth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I don’t feel guilty. I feel embarrassed.

You should be embarrassed about your shallowness. You may have money but certainly no class.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They absolutely do NOT need to know. Not until they're applying to college. I would just say in response to "Top 1% or top .1%" the answer is 'You don't need to know that level of detail at this point in your life. You get everything you need and some of the things you want, and we won't have you go into debt to get an education."

I don't tell my kids exactly how much we earn. They don't need that information for any reason.

Yes. 💯

[Anonymous]

Safety, safety, safety, safety

OP, kids get kidnapped over this level of wealth.

Since you have already disclosed to her that you are 1%ers you really need to emphasize to her that this is extremely confidential.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I don’t feel guilty. I feel embarrassed.

This made me laugh out loud. I am very similar to you.

As for your daughter, I agree with trying to get her to talk about why she is so interested in the specifics. But, also, I would tell her the amount. You should probably also tell her generally what your estate plans are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Safety, safety, safety, safety

OP, kids get kidnapped over this level of wealth.

Since you have already disclosed to her that you are 1%ers you really need to emphasize to her that this is extremely confidential.

LOL. OP’s kid almost certainly goes to private school and is surrounded by even wealthier kids every day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your investment platform/advisor probably has printed material or in person seminars about talking to children about your family wealth.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Safety, safety, safety, safety

OP, kids get kidnapped over this level of wealth.

Since you have already disclosed to her that you are 1%ers you really need to emphasize to her that this is extremely confidential.

WTF are you talking about?
35m NW here…not worried about kidnapping.