Etiquette for beach house stay

[Anonymous]

The thing I hate most about beach house guests is when they don’t follow my rules. I have two really simple ones. Don’t spray sunscreen on my porch or steps and don’t track sand into the house. Neither is hard. Just step into the yard to do sunscreen and shower before coming in the house. Yet it
Always happens.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A family friend of ours has invited us to join them for a week at their beach house this summer. They have 2 kids, we have 3 kids.

What should we offer/bring to show our appreciation for hosting us? We will offer to pay for groceries and eating out, but should I bring a host gift? Anything else? Do I need to do all the laundry on the day we leave (sheets, towels)? This is our first time being hosted at a vacation home.

Fwiw, both families are well-off (kids in private schools, luxury cars, etc), so it’s not a financial burden for them to host us or for us to offer to pay for stuff. I want to be a good guest.

This sentence tells me that OP is new to having money and also new to being invited to people's vacation homes.

[Anonymous]

We have a beach house and like the PP there aren't many families we are keen to host every year. The ones who are on the 'any time' list clean up after themselves, chip in with meals, are easy or low maintenance company and keep themselves busy. Consumable gifts are appreciated, not mugs, towels or trinkets.

A few things that get on my nerves by the end of a week but that I don't feel like I can say to a guest:
-leaving wet towels in a heap where they start to stink
-not reusing beach towels, pulling a new one out every time
-tracking sand everywhere
-pulling out every possible toy or watersport at once and not helping put them back or putting them back dirty
-not offering to help with meals or after dinner cleanup
-leaving doors and windows open while the AC is running

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A family friend of ours has invited us to join them for a week at their beach house this summer. They have 2 kids, we have 3 kids.

What should we offer/bring to show our appreciation for hosting us? We will offer to pay for groceries and eating out, but should I bring a host gift? Anything else? Do I need to do all the laundry on the day we leave (sheets, towels)? This is our first time being hosted at a vacation home.

Fwiw, both families are well-off (kids in private schools, luxury cars, etc), so it’s not a financial burden for them to host us or for us to offer to pay for stuff. I want to be a good guest.

You are nauseating and I would want to vacation with you in a million years.

Why couldn’t you just say “money isn’t the issue neither of us is hurting” or something like that. “Kids in prívate schools, luxury cars?” Really?

DP here. Someone sounds jealous.

Nope. I have plenty of money. A net worth well into the millions. I just don’t / didn’t waste it on luxury cars or private schools. That way I don’t have to mooch off of others for my vacations.

Anybody who feels the need to say they drive a luxury car and sends their kids to private schools when neither is germane in any way to the issue being discussed is simply pathetic.

You’re the nauseating one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A family friend of ours has invited us to join them for a week at their beach house this summer. They have 2 kids, we have 3 kids.

What should we offer/bring to show our appreciation for hosting us? We will offer to pay for groceries and eating out, but should I bring a host gift? Anything else? Do I need to do all the laundry on the day we leave (sheets, towels)? This is our first time being hosted at a vacation home.

Fwiw, both families are well-off (kids in private schools, luxury cars, etc), so it’s not a financial burden for them to host us or for us to offer to pay for stuff. I want to be a good guest.

You are nauseating and I would want to vacation with you in a million years.

Why couldn’t you just say “money isn’t the issue neither of us is hurting” or something like that. “Kids in prívate schools, luxury cars?” Really?

DP here. Someone sounds jealous.

I’d generally be quick to call out pretension, and don’t see anything wrong with this. It pretty clearly suggests not to gift them some new beach towels, which is useful context.

We are financially comfortable and I think pretty new beach towels is a nice and thoughtful gift. They get lost and wear out quickly. Obviusly we can afford to buy them ourselves but that doesn't make them a bad gift. And I agree that OP's description of her wealth was vulgar and pretentious.

Some people will take offense at the slightest pretext.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A family friend of ours has invited us to join them for a week at their beach house this summer. They have 2 kids, we have 3 kids.

What should we offer/bring to show our appreciation for hosting us? We will offer to pay for groceries and eating out, but should I bring a host gift? Anything else? Do I need to do all the laundry on the day we leave (sheets, towels)? This is our first time being hosted at a vacation home.

Fwiw, both families are well-off (kids in private schools, luxury cars, etc), so it’s not a financial burden for them to host us or for us to offer to pay for stuff. I want to be a good guest.

You are nauseating and I would want to vacation with you in a million years.

Why couldn’t you just say “money isn’t the issue neither of us is hurting” or something like that. “Kids in prívate schools, luxury cars?” Really?

DP here. Someone sounds jealous.

I’d generally be quick to call out pretension, and don’t see anything wrong with this. It pretty clearly suggests not to gift them some new beach towels, which is useful context.

Huh? Don’t people who drive luxury cars and send kids to private schools like new beach towels?

I know this is hard, but the general assumption is that a family with luxury cars and kids in private can take care of their own necessities.

But that definition no one should ever give a rich person a gift ever, because they can afford to buy it themselves. Yet, that’s not how gift protocol works in this country.

[Anonymous]

Bring LOTS of bacon OP!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A family friend of ours has invited us to join them for a week at their beach house this summer. They have 2 kids, we have 3 kids.

What should we offer/bring to show our appreciation for hosting us? We will offer to pay for groceries and eating out, but should I bring a host gift? Anything else? Do I need to do all the laundry on the day we leave (sheets, towels)? This is our first time being hosted at a vacation home.

Fwiw, both families are well-off (kids in private schools, luxury cars, etc), so it’s not a financial burden for them to host us or for us to offer to pay for stuff. I want to be a good guest.

You are nauseating and I would want to vacation with you in a million years.

Why couldn’t you just say “money isn’t the issue neither of us is hurting” or something like that. “Kids in prívate schools, luxury cars?” Really?

DP here. Someone sounds jealous.

I’d generally be quick to call out pretension, and don’t see anything wrong with this. It pretty clearly suggests not to gift them some new beach towels, which is useful context.

Huh? Don’t people who drive luxury cars and send kids to private schools like new beach towels?

I know this is hard, but the general assumption is that a family with luxury cars and kids in private can take care of their own necessities.

And so can people for whom “money isn’t the issue“, meaning that the reference to luxury cars and private schooling remains unnecessary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A family friend of ours has invited us to join them for a week at their beach house this summer. They have 2 kids, we have 3 kids.

What should we offer/bring to show our appreciation for hosting us? We will offer to pay for groceries and eating out, but should I bring a host gift? Anything else? Do I need to do all the laundry on the day we leave (sheets, towels)? This is our first time being hosted at a vacation home.

Fwiw, both families are well-off (kids in private schools, luxury cars, etc), so it’s not a financial burden for them to host us or for us to offer to pay for stuff. I want to be a good guest.

You are nauseating and I would want to vacation with you in a million years.

Why couldn’t you just say “money isn’t the issue neither of us is hurting” or something like that. “Kids in prívate schools, luxury cars?” Really?

DP here. Someone sounds jealous.

Nope. I have plenty of money. A net worth well into the millions. I just don’t / didn’t waste it on luxury cars or private schools. That way I don’t have to mooch off of others for my vacations.

Anybody who feels the need to say they drive a luxury car and sends their kids to private schools when neither is germane in any way to the issue being discussed is simply pathetic.

You’re the nauseating one.

Nope. OP had it coming.

[Anonymous]

Bring alcohol for the week, a hostess gift for the host and do a grocery order with your host at the start of the week. Paying for a cleaner would be lovely, but not expected. Do ask your host how to handle sheets/towels at the end of the week.

Additionally, follow their lead on sandy towels, cleaning up toys, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A family friend of ours has invited us to join them for a week at their beach house this summer. They have 2 kids, we have 3 kids.

What should we offer/bring to show our appreciation for hosting us? We will offer to pay for groceries and eating out, but should I bring a host gift? Anything else? Do I need to do all the laundry on the day we leave (sheets, towels)? This is our first time being hosted at a vacation home.

Fwiw, both families are well-off (kids in private schools, luxury cars, etc), so it’s not a financial burden for them to host us or for us to offer to pay for stuff. I want to be a good guest.

This sentence tells me that OP is new to having money and also new to being invited to people's vacation homes.

Maybe, maybe not. Either way, nice that she's asking for advice. Have fun, OP!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A family friend of ours has invited us to join them for a week at their beach house this summer. They have 2 kids, we have 3 kids.

What should we offer/bring to show our appreciation for hosting us? We will offer to pay for groceries and eating out, but should I bring a host gift? Anything else? Do I need to do all the laundry on the day we leave (sheets, towels)? This is our first time being hosted at a vacation home.

Fwiw, both families are well-off (kids in private schools, luxury cars, etc), so it’s not a financial burden for them to host us or for us to offer to pay for stuff. I want to be a good guest.

You are nauseating and I would want to vacation with you in a million years.

Why couldn’t you just say “money isn’t the issue neither of us is hurting” or something like that. “Kids in prívate schools, luxury cars?” Really?

DP here. Someone sounds jealous.

I’d generally be quick to call out pretension, and don’t see anything wrong with this. It pretty clearly suggests not to gift them some new beach towels, which is useful context.

We are financially comfortable and I think pretty new beach towels is a nice and thoughtful gift. They get lost and wear out quickly. Obviusly we can afford to buy them ourselves but that doesn't make them a bad gift. And I agree that OP's description of her wealth was vulgar and pretentious.

Also, lots of people who drive luxury cars are utterly skint from keeping up with the Joneses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A family friend of ours has invited us to join them for a week at their beach house this summer. They have 2 kids, we have 3 kids.

What should we offer/bring to show our appreciation for hosting us? We will offer to pay for groceries and eating out, but should I bring a host gift? Anything else? Do I need to do all the laundry on the day we leave (sheets, towels)? This is our first time being hosted at a vacation home.

Fwiw, both families are well-off (kids in private schools, luxury cars, etc), so it’s not a financial burden for them to host us or for us to offer to pay for stuff. I want to be a good guest.

This sentence tells me that OP is new to having money and also new to being invited to people's vacation homes.

Maybe, maybe not. Either way, nice that she's asking for advice. Have fun, OP!

Can you imagine ever saying in real life “hey, Suzie, Betty and her family invited us to their beach house for a week this summer. What do you think we should do to show our appreciation? Obviously money isn’t the issue since we both have kids in private schools and drive luxury cars. Thoughts?”

[Anonymous]

Don't "offer" to pay for groceries or dinner b/c , out of politeness and feeling awkward, the host declines.
Instead, just pay "Here Jim, I've got groceries covered. I'll be back in an hour with snack foods, burgers for dinner, and whatever else looks good...a case of beer too, right?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A family friend of ours has invited us to join them for a week at their beach house this summer. They have 2 kids, we have 3 kids.

What should we offer/bring to show our appreciation for hosting us? We will offer to pay for groceries and eating out, but should I bring a host gift? Anything else? Do I need to do all the laundry on the day we leave (sheets, towels)? This is our first time being hosted at a vacation home.

Fwiw, both families are well-off (kids in private schools, luxury cars, etc), so it’s not a financial burden for them to host us or for us to offer to pay for stuff. I want to be a good guest.

You are nauseating and I would want to vacation with you in a million years.

Why couldn’t you just say “money isn’t the issue neither of us is hurting” or something like that. “Kids in prívate schools, luxury cars?” Really?

Over the top much? I think OP's post is totally reasonable and fine.