Etiquette for beach house stay

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A family friend of ours has invited us to join them for a week at their beach house this summer. They have 2 kids, we have 3 kids.

What should we offer/bring to show our appreciation for hosting us? We will offer to pay for groceries and eating out, but should I bring a host gift? Anything else? Do I need to do all the laundry on the day we leave (sheets, towels)? This is our first time being hosted at a vacation home.

Fwiw, both families are well-off (kids in private schools, luxury cars, etc), so it’s not a financial burden for them to host us or for us to offer to pay for stuff. I want to be a good guest.

You are nauseating and I would want to vacation with you in a million years.

Why couldn’t you just say “money isn’t the issue neither of us is hurting” or something like that. “Kids in prívate schools, luxury cars?” Really?

DP here. Someone sounds jealous.

Nope. I have plenty of money. A net worth well into the millions. I just don’t / didn’t waste it on luxury cars or private schools. That way I don’t have to mooch off of others for my vacations.

Anybody who feels the need to say they drive a luxury car and sends their kids to private schools when neither is germane in any way to the issue being discussed is simply pathetic.

Yet you have to share your net worth?

Alrighty then.

[Anonymous]

We own a large and beautiful second home on several wooded acres with a pool and numerous amenities. People love it and we routinely have guests spend several days and often turn the place over to our adult kids who fill it up with friends and have a great long weekend etc.

We don’t ask or expect anything from then other than that they tidy it up the best they can before they leave. We don’t expect them to do the laundry - that takes too long for them - and we have a regular cleaning service as well.

If someone brings a bottle of wine or something we appreciate it but don’t expect it and don’t get all bent out of shape if they don’t. We’re not into being generous so we can judge how others respond to our generosity.

Oh, and we’re well off but don’t drive luxury cars or have kids in private schools.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A family friend of ours has invited us to join them for a week at their beach house this summer. They have 2 kids, we have 3 kids.

What should we offer/bring to show our appreciation for hosting us? We will offer to pay for groceries and eating out, but should I bring a host gift? Anything else? Do I need to do all the laundry on the day we leave (sheets, towels)? This is our first time being hosted at a vacation home.

Fwiw, both families are well-off (kids in private schools, luxury cars, etc), so it’s not a financial burden for them to host us or for us to offer to pay for stuff. I want to be a good guest.

You are nauseating and I would want to vacation with you in a million years.

Why couldn’t you just say “money isn’t the issue neither of us is hurting” or something like that. “Kids in prívate schools, luxury cars?” Really?

DP here. Someone sounds jealous.

Nope. I have plenty of money. A net worth well into the millions. I just don’t / didn’t waste it on luxury cars or private schools. That way I don’t have to mooch off of others for my vacations.

Anybody who feels the need to say they drive a luxury car and sends their kids to private schools when neither is germane in any way to the issue being discussed is simply pathetic.

Yet you have to share your net worth?

Alrighty then.

Only because it was suggested that my nausea was triggered by jealousy. Which, I assure you, it was not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A family friend of ours has invited us to join them for a week at their beach house this summer. They have 2 kids, we have 3 kids.

What should we offer/bring to show our appreciation for hosting us? We will offer to pay for groceries and eating out, but should I bring a host gift? Anything else? Do I need to do all the laundry on the day we leave (sheets, towels)? This is our first time being hosted at a vacation home.

Fwiw, both families are well-off (kids in private schools, luxury cars, etc), so it’s not a financial burden for them to host us or for us to offer to pay for stuff. I want to be a good guest.

You are nauseating and I would want to vacation with you in a million years.

Why couldn’t you just say “money isn’t the issue neither of us is hurting” or something like that. “Kids in prívate schools, luxury cars?” Really?

DP here. Someone sounds jealous.

I’d generally be quick to call out pretension, and don’t see anything wrong with this. It pretty clearly suggests not to gift them some new beach towels, which is useful context.

Huh? Don’t people who drive luxury cars and send kids to private schools like new beach towels?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A family friend of ours has invited us to join them for a week at their beach house this summer. They have 2 kids, we have 3 kids.

What should we offer/bring to show our appreciation for hosting us? We will offer to pay for groceries and eating out, but should I bring a host gift? Anything else? Do I need to do all the laundry on the day we leave (sheets, towels)? This is our first time being hosted at a vacation home.

Fwiw, both families are well-off (kids in private schools, luxury cars, etc), so it’s not a financial burden for them to host us or for us to offer to pay for stuff. I want to be a good guest.

You are nauseating and I would want to vacation with you in a million years.

Why couldn’t you just say “money isn’t the issue neither of us is hurting” or something like that. “Kids in prívate schools, luxury cars?” Really?

DP here. Someone sounds jealous.

I’d generally be quick to call out pretension, and don’t see anything wrong with this. It pretty clearly suggests not to gift them some new beach towels, which is useful context.

Huh? Don’t people who drive luxury cars and send kids to private schools like new beach towels?

We send our kids to private and drive luxury cars, but all our towels come from the second-hand store. Great deal!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A family friend of ours has invited us to join them for a week at their beach house this summer. They have 2 kids, we have 3 kids.

What should we offer/bring to show our appreciation for hosting us? We will offer to pay for groceries and eating out, but should I bring a host gift? Anything else? Do I need to do all the laundry on the day we leave (sheets, towels)? This is our first time being hosted at a vacation home.

Fwiw, both families are well-off (kids in private schools, luxury cars, etc), so it’s not a financial burden for them to host us or for us to offer to pay for stuff. I want to be a good guest.

You are nauseating and I would want to vacation with you in a million years.

Why couldn’t you just say “money isn’t the issue neither of us is hurting” or something like that. “Kids in prívate schools, luxury cars?” Really?

DP here. Someone sounds jealous.

I’d generally be quick to call out pretension, and don’t see anything wrong with this. It pretty clearly suggests not to gift them some new beach towels, which is useful context.

Huh? Don’t people who drive luxury cars and send kids to private schools like new beach towels?

I know this is hard, but the general assumption is that a family with luxury cars and kids in private can take care of their own necessities.

[Anonymous]

Have a great time OP!

Sometimes people, regardless of status of cars/schools/towel, just want to enjoy time with friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A family friend of ours has invited us to join them for a week at their beach house this summer. They have 2 kids, we have 3 kids.

What should we offer/bring to show our appreciation for hosting us? We will offer to pay for groceries and eating out, but should I bring a host gift? Anything else? Do I need to do all the laundry on the day we leave (sheets, towels)? This is our first time being hosted at a vacation home.

Fwiw, both families are well-off (kids in private schools, luxury cars, etc), so it’s not a financial burden for them to host us or for us to offer to pay for stuff. I want to be a good guest.

You are nauseating and I would want to vacation with you in a million years.

Why couldn’t you just say “money isn’t the issue neither of us is hurting” or something like that. “Kids in prívate schools, luxury cars?” Really?

DP here. Someone sounds jealous.

I’d generally be quick to call out pretension, and don’t see anything wrong with this. It pretty clearly suggests not to gift them some new beach towels, which is useful context.

NP and I agree the point gives context, but you can make the point without the smug details.

[Anonymous]

We have a beach house and routinely invite another family to join us. Over the years we've invited almost all our friends over at one point or another, and this is the only family we keep inviting back, simply due to:

1) their kids and ours play well together (this is the single biggest factor)
2) their vacation style is very compatible with ours: easy going, efficient, active, and water-sports focused

They tidy up after themselves and do their share of cleaning. Everything else is just bonus and not expected.

I do like one PP's suggestion to watch their kids for one night so the host couple can go out on a date. But as the host, we'd offer to give them a night too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A family friend of ours has invited us to join them for a week at their beach house this summer. They have 2 kids, we have 3 kids.

What should we offer/bring to show our appreciation for hosting us? We will offer to pay for groceries and eating out, but should I bring a host gift? Anything else? Do I need to do all the laundry on the day we leave (sheets, towels)? This is our first time being hosted at a vacation home.

Fwiw, both families are well-off (kids in private schools, luxury cars, etc), so it’s not a financial burden for them to host us or for us to offer to pay for stuff. I want to be a good guest.

You are nauseating and I would want to vacation with you in a million years.

Why couldn’t you just say “money isn’t the issue neither of us is hurting” or something like that. “Kids in prívate schools, luxury cars?” Really?

DP here. Someone sounds jealous.

I’d generally be quick to call out pretension, and don’t see anything wrong with this. It pretty clearly suggests not to gift them some new beach towels, which is useful context.

Huh? Don’t people who drive luxury cars and send kids to private schools like new beach towels?

I know this is hard, but the general assumption is that a family with luxury cars and kids in private can take care of their own necessities.

+1

I have no idea why PP is getting so bent out of shape. OP is asking what people in their situation might "want", since they obviously don't need anything (such as linens). DP here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have a beach house and routinely invite another family to join us. Over the years we've invited almost all our friends over at one point or another, and this is the only family we keep inviting back, simply due to:

1) their kids and ours play well together (this is the single biggest factor)
2) their vacation style is very compatible with ours: easy going, efficient, active, and water-sports focused

They tidy up after themselves and do their share of cleaning. Everything else is just bonus and not expected.

I do like one PP's suggestion to watch their kids for one night so the host couple can go out on a date. But as the host, we'd offer to give them a night too.

+1

All true - some families are simply "too much".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A family friend of ours has invited us to join them for a week at their beach house this summer. They have 2 kids, we have 3 kids.

What should we offer/bring to show our appreciation for hosting us? We will offer to pay for groceries and eating out, but should I bring a host gift? Anything else? Do I need to do all the laundry on the day we leave (sheets, towels)? This is our first time being hosted at a vacation home.

Fwiw, both families are well-off (kids in private schools, luxury cars, etc), so it’s not a financial burden for them to host us or for us to offer to pay for stuff. I want to be a good guest.

You are nauseating and I would want to vacation with you in a million years.

Why couldn’t you just say “money isn’t the issue neither of us is hurting” or something like that. “Kids in prívate schools, luxury cars?” Really?

DP here. Someone sounds jealous.

Nope. I have plenty of money. A net worth well into the millions. I just don’t / didn’t waste it on luxury cars or private schools. That way I don’t have to mooch off of others for my vacations.

Anybody who feels the need to say they drive a luxury car and sends their kids to private schools when neither is germane in any way to the issue being discussed is simply pathetic.

Yet you have to share your net worth?

Alrighty then.

Only because it was suggested that my nausea was triggered by jealousy. Which, I assure you, it was not.

Then calm TF down. DP here.

[Anonymous]

We host people at our beach house often. Biggest thing i appreciate is helping with meals. Putting on 3 meals a day for a bigger group can be exhausting. Help with prep and cleanup. Arrange/pick up the carryout one day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We host people at our beach house often. Biggest thing i appreciate is helping with meals. Putting on 3 meals a day for a bigger group can be exhausting. Help with prep and cleanup. Arrange/pick up the carryout one day.

Each family is responsible for their own breakfast and lunch. Dinner we either prepare together or take turns. Often it depends on what we catch that day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A family friend of ours has invited us to join them for a week at their beach house this summer. They have 2 kids, we have 3 kids.

What should we offer/bring to show our appreciation for hosting us? We will offer to pay for groceries and eating out, but should I bring a host gift? Anything else? Do I need to do all the laundry on the day we leave (sheets, towels)? This is our first time being hosted at a vacation home.

Fwiw, both families are well-off (kids in private schools, luxury cars, etc), so it’s not a financial burden for them to host us or for us to offer to pay for stuff. I want to be a good guest.

You are nauseating and I would want to vacation with you in a million years.

Why couldn’t you just say “money isn’t the issue neither of us is hurting” or something like that. “Kids in prívate schools, luxury cars?” Really?

DP here. Someone sounds jealous.

I’d generally be quick to call out pretension, and don’t see anything wrong with this. It pretty clearly suggests not to gift them some new beach towels, which is useful context.

We are financially comfortable and I think pretty new beach towels is a nice and thoughtful gift. They get lost and wear out quickly. Obviusly we can afford to buy them ourselves but that doesn't make them a bad gift. And I agree that OP's description of her wealth was vulgar and pretentious.