Etiquette for beach house stay

[Anonymous]

A family friend of ours has invited us to join them for a week at their beach house this summer. They have 2 kids, we have 3 kids.

What should we offer/bring to show our appreciation for hosting us? We will offer to pay for groceries and eating out, but should I bring a host gift? Anything else? Do I need to do all the laundry on the day we leave (sheets, towels)? This is our first time being hosted at a vacation home.

Fwiw, both families are well-off (kids in private schools, luxury cars, etc), so it’s not a financial burden for them to host us or for us to offer to pay for stuff. I want to be a good guest.

[Anonymous]

I would bring several varieties of alcohol you know will be enjoyed (wine, hard cider, favorite beer, whatever) and then obviously go on the grocery run with the host and offer to pay. At for cleaning, each family has their own way so I would just ask what she would like. In general, just try to keep spaces tidy and watch your kids especially if they can be destructive. We care for our things pretty meticulously and our kids are well trained, but some parents let their kids be destructive and don’t seem to notice or care. But I doubt you would have been invited if that is you.

[Anonymous]

Offer to watch all the kids so they can have a date night and/or round up all the kids and take them to ice cream or a movie so their parents get some down time.

[Anonymous]

My suggestions:

-most important: be a good guest. Clean up after yourself and your family, particularly in common spaces (kitchen, living room, pool, foyer).
-unload the dishwasher when it's done running
-plan in advance which meals you will cover and coordinate with the host
-buy groceries freely and often and more than enough to share. Come with your family's favorite snacks and drinks supplied.

You can ask about laundry, but they most likely have a cleaning service.

I'd bring a bottle of their favorite booze (like bourbon or tequila), some nice wine and breakfast pastries to gift them on arrival.

[Anonymous]

Take them out to dinner at least 1 evening.

[Anonymous]

Maybe offer to pay the cleaning fee?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe offer to pay the cleaning fee?

This. As a beach home owner, I think this is a nice gesture when my guests offer (assuming they already have a housecleaner).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe offer to pay the cleaning fee?

This. As a beach home owner, I think this is a nice gesture when my guests offer (assuming they already have a housecleaner).

PP here. Agree. All the fees and costs add up. Plus, if they would normally rent out their house, the owner is missing out on that rental money. Also agree with other PP re: keeping the place clean and neat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A family friend of ours has invited us to join them for a week at their beach house this summer. They have 2 kids, we have 3 kids.

What should we offer/bring to show our appreciation for hosting us? We will offer to pay for groceries and eating out, but should I bring a host gift? Anything else? Do I need to do all the laundry on the day we leave (sheets, towels)? This is our first time being hosted at a vacation home.

Fwiw, both families are well-off (kids in private schools, luxury cars, etc), so it’s not a financial burden for them to host us or for us to offer to pay for stuff. I want to be a good guest.

You are nauseating and I would want to vacation with you in a million years.

Why couldn’t you just say “money isn’t the issue neither of us is hurting” or something like that. “Kids in prívate schools, luxury cars?” Really?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A family friend of ours has invited us to join them for a week at their beach house this summer. They have 2 kids, we have 3 kids.

What should we offer/bring to show our appreciation for hosting us? We will offer to pay for groceries and eating out, but should I bring a host gift? Anything else? Do I need to do all the laundry on the day we leave (sheets, towels)? This is our first time being hosted at a vacation home.

Fwiw, both families are well-off (kids in private schools, luxury cars, etc), so it’s not a financial burden for them to host us or for us to offer to pay for stuff. I want to be a good guest.

You are nauseating and I would want to vacation with you in a million years.

Why couldn’t you just say “money isn’t the issue neither of us is hurting” or something like that. “Kids in prívate schools, luxury cars?” Really?

DP here. Someone sounds jealous.

[Anonymous]

We own a summer home and host people a lot.

The most appreciative things are things like a really cool magnum of rose wine that we can serve at the next large group dinner, alcohol for the week, fun cocktails and ingredients, offering to pick up seafood from the fishmonger and do a great seafood boil, or paella one night, Bringing breakfast for the first morning and other things of that nature. Also asking about the menu plan for the week and if there’s anything that they can bring from the city or otherwise help with?

We have a weekly cleaning lady that is paid automatically, so no need for anyone to offer to pay for her. She will take care of all sheets and towels when she comes each week.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A family friend of ours has invited us to join them for a week at their beach house this summer. They have 2 kids, we have 3 kids.

What should we offer/bring to show our appreciation for hosting us? We will offer to pay for groceries and eating out, but should I bring a host gift? Anything else? Do I need to do all the laundry on the day we leave (sheets, towels)? This is our first time being hosted at a vacation home.

Fwiw, both families are well-off (kids in private schools, luxury cars, etc), so it’s not a financial burden for them to host us or for us to offer to pay for stuff. I want to be a good guest.

You are nauseating and I would want to vacation with you in a million years.

Why couldn’t you just say “money isn’t the issue neither of us is hurting” or something like that. “Kids in prívate schools, luxury cars?” Really?

DP here. Someone sounds jealous.

Nope. I have plenty of money. A net worth well into the millions. I just don’t / didn’t waste it on luxury cars or private schools. That way I don’t have to mooch off of others for my vacations.

Anybody who feels the need to say they drive a luxury car and sends their kids to private schools when neither is germane in any way to the issue being discussed is simply pathetic.

[Anonymous]

And yes to hostess gift. One of the best hostess gifts we received was a gift certificate to an amazing Omakase restaurant for the four of us to do together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe offer to pay the cleaning fee?

This. As a beach home owner, I think this is a nice gesture when my guests offer (assuming they already have a housecleaner).

PP here. Agree. All the fees and costs add up. Plus, if they would normally rent out their house, the owner is missing out on that rental money. Also agree with other PP re: keeping the place clean and neat.

That’s completely irrelevant; the owners will be using the house that week, so that has nothing to do with OP’s family. The reasons to offer to cover the cleaning fee are to lessen the imposition on the hosts because OP’s family will have helped to make the house dirtier, and to show gratitude to the hosts. It has nothing to do with compensating the hosts for lost rental income.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A family friend of ours has invited us to join them for a week at their beach house this summer. They have 2 kids, we have 3 kids.

What should we offer/bring to show our appreciation for hosting us? We will offer to pay for groceries and eating out, but should I bring a host gift? Anything else? Do I need to do all the laundry on the day we leave (sheets, towels)? This is our first time being hosted at a vacation home.

Fwiw, both families are well-off (kids in private schools, luxury cars, etc), so it’s not a financial burden for them to host us or for us to offer to pay for stuff. I want to be a good guest.

You are nauseating and I would want to vacation with you in a million years.

Why couldn’t you just say “money isn’t the issue neither of us is hurting” or something like that. “Kids in prívate schools, luxury cars?” Really?

DP here. Someone sounds jealous.

I’d generally be quick to call out pretension, and don’t see anything wrong with this. It pretty clearly suggests not to gift them some new beach towels, which is useful context.