Do you parents/ILs pay for

[Anonymous]

No because my husband and I are the ones who decided to send our kids to private school and that choice was on us and for us to pay for so we structured our lives to allow for that. (We definitely notice the money leaving our bank account). My parents sent me to private school but I would never expect that they'd pay for my kids to do the same. Honestly I look down a little on people who do this. Like, be an adult and pay for your expenses. I guess it would be different if parents were wealthy and kids had low-paying jobs like teaching but otherwise I think you're sort of a child.

[Anonymous]

my parents have many times offered to pay for or contribute to the kids privates - and they have net worth of at least $20m - but i would never allow bc i am a GROWN ADULT. Insane to me that ppl allow this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:my parents have many times offered to pay for or contribute to the kids privates - and they have net worth of at least $20m - but i would never allow bc i am a GROWN ADULT. Insane to me that ppl allow this.

You are insane not to accept the cash, if it’s given unconditionally.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No because my husband and I are the ones who decided to send our kids to private school and that choice was on us and for us to pay for so we structured our lives to allow for that. (We definitely notice the money leaving our bank account). My parents sent me to private school but I would never expect that they'd pay for my kids to do the same. Honestly I look down a little on people who do this. Like, be an adult and pay for your expenses. I guess it would be different if parents were wealthy and kids had low-paying jobs like teaching but otherwise I think you're sort of a child.

What if one parent despises the paying (grandparent/s), refuses to work, but theirs are the only grandkids?

[Anonymous]

No I could never imagine asking them to do this. DH and I are adults and the kids are our financial responsibility.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We don’t expect anything from them, nor do we ever ask.

What they have done/do:
-private school tuition, roughly $40k x 2
-$15-$16k annual gift for each of us (so x 4)
-wedding gift of $500k + a $1.7M trust
-we typically join them for an annual vacation at a property they own and if it works out, we fly privately with them and they won’t let us pay for anything while we are there

You don't need to ask as they do plenty and give freely.

Yeah, but they seem like kind, thoughtful and generous people who give freely, and that is pretty nice, private jet or not.

[Anonymous]

My FIL and MIL love and care about me like I am their own daughter when I married DH. It also helps that I am very close to my SIL, we've known each other since 5th grade. They gave us:

- A 2M home,
- Two Tesla for DH and I,
- A 2M in trust,
- Pay 110K/yr for two kids at a big 3 private school,
- All vacations are paid for by in-law parents,

DH and I are working professionals and we make a combined 250K/yr. Funny thing is that they are not a big fan of having a big wedding and I felt the same way. When DH and I got married, we had a very small wedding with less than 20 people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No because my husband and I are the ones who decided to send our kids to private school and that choice was on us and for us to pay for so we structured our lives to allow for that. (We definitely notice the money leaving our bank account). My parents sent me to private school but I would never expect that they'd pay for my kids to do the same. Honestly I look down a little on people who do this. Like, be an adult and pay for your expenses. I guess it would be different if parents were wealthy and kids had low-paying jobs like teaching but otherwise I think you're sort of a child.

What if one parent despises the paying (grandparent/s), refuses to work, but theirs are the only grandkids?

Maybe the parent despises you because you pull financial strings.

If you are in a position to help your grandkids and don’t, because you think your DIL/SIL needs to work, you’re butting into your child’s marriage. Help or don’t, the rest is none of your business.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No I could never imagine asking them to do this. DH and I are adults and the kids are our financial responsibility.

I might ask if it was promised or offered and “forgotten” about, or used as leverage in some other way. Happens more often than you think in families with money.

[Anonymous]

Yes they pay for both kids full tuition and will for the duration of their time in school, including college, wherever they decide to go. They believe very strongly in the best education possible and we are grateful for it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes they pay for both kids full tuition and will for the duration of their time in school, including college, wherever they decide to go. They believe very strongly in the best education possible and we are grateful for it.

Gosh I hope I am wealthy enough to do this for my own child some day. What a gift.

[Anonymous]

No. I think my Mom might contribute to college when the time comes, but I'm not sure and I'm not planning for it

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No because my husband and I are the ones who decided to send our kids to private school and that choice was on us and for us to pay for so we structured our lives to allow for that. (We definitely notice the money leaving our bank account). My parents sent me to private school but I would never expect that they'd pay for my kids to do the same. Honestly I look down a little on people who do this. Like, be an adult and pay for your expenses. I guess it would be different if parents were wealthy and kids had low-paying jobs like teaching but otherwise I think you're sort of a child.

What if one parent despises the paying (grandparent/s), refuses to work, but theirs are the only grandkids?

Why do both parents need to work? Hi, mom.

[Anonymous]

Neither set of grandparents pay for our three kids' private school tuitions, nor would we ask them to. (One set has the means, one does not.)

We pay the tuitions ourselves. We pay all of our expenses ourselves. Occasionally the grandparents take us out to dinner when we visit and we do the same for them.

[Anonymous]

I wonder how much net worth the grandparents would have to have to front something like this for multiple grandkids K-12. Life goals!