Is it age appropriate to be punching/hitting at age 5? Unprovoked and no real reason?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am the mother of a child who hit kids every single day in kindergarten. The behavior absolutely mortified me. I was so ashamed and saddened by my son's behavior. We were not an aggressive household and we did everything we could think of to change the behavior: working with a psychologist, working with the school. Of course, the parents of the other kids didn't know this. They only knew that my son was "violent."

Anyway, the behavior completely stopped in first grade. My son has an anxiety disorder and when he was small it came out as aggression. He eventually learned to verbally express when he was feeling anxious and the aggression disappeared.

He is now 14 in 9th grade and he is the most gentle kid around. He still has anxiety which manifests itself differently (shyness, social anxiety, etc).

The point of my post is that the adults may be trying very hard to manage the behavior. No parent enjoys being the parent of "that kid."

Why did you put quotes around “violent”? Your child was violent. Period. He’s apparently not now, but he was then.

Stuff like putting quotes around violent (which I’m sure came across in the way you spoke about him too, not just the way you’re writing about him) is the exact problem that people have with you. You’re in denial and acting like the violence isn’t that bad or isn’t really violence and so shouldn’t be called that. Acknowledging the problem would have made other parents less frustrated with you.

DP. When you have the child with externalizing behavior (the correct clinical term) the last thing you should care about is what other parents think. Calling out parents, insisting that they make some public acknowledgement that their child is “bad,” does nothing for anyone. Your demands that PP use certain words are all about you, not about the kid and how to help them.

It’s not the job of parents to co-parent their child’s abuser.

[Anonymous]

Absolutely not age appropriate. That child should be referred to his or her doctor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am the mother of a child who hit kids every single day in kindergarten. The behavior absolutely mortified me. I was so ashamed and saddened by my son's behavior. We were not an aggressive household and we did everything we could think of to change the behavior: working with a psychologist, working with the school. Of course, the parents of the other kids didn't know this. They only knew that my son was "violent."

Anyway, the behavior completely stopped in first grade. My son has an anxiety disorder and when he was small it came out as aggression. He eventually learned to verbally express when he was feeling anxious and the aggression disappeared.

He is now 14 in 9th grade and he is the most gentle kid around. He still has anxiety which manifests itself differently (shyness, social anxiety, etc).

The point of my post is that the adults may be trying very hard to manage the behavior. No parent enjoys being the parent of "that kid."

Why did you put quotes around “violent”? Your child was violent. Period. He’s apparently not now, but he was then.

Stuff like putting quotes around violent (which I’m sure came across in the way you spoke about him too, not just the way you’re writing about him) is the exact problem that people have with you. You’re in denial and acting like the violence isn’t that bad or isn’t really violence and so shouldn’t be called that. Acknowledging the problem would have made other parents less frustrated with you.

DP. When you have the child with externalizing behavior (the correct clinical term) the last thing you should care about is what other parents think. Calling out parents, insisting that they make some public acknowledgement that their child is “bad,” does nothing for anyone. Your demands that PP use certain words are all about you, not about the kid and how to help them.

Actually my “demands” are not about me, they’re about my kids. It’s one thing for my kids to be hit by another kid, it’s another for them to be gaslit too with proclamations from adults that their kid isn’t a violent kid with serious issues who is 100% in the wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am the mother of a child who hit kids every single day in kindergarten. The behavior absolutely mortified me. I was so ashamed and saddened by my son's behavior. We were not an aggressive household and we did everything we could think of to change the behavior: working with a psychologist, working with the school. Of course, the parents of the other kids didn't know this. They only knew that my son was "violent."

Anyway, the behavior completely stopped in first grade. My son has an anxiety disorder and when he was small it came out as aggression. He eventually learned to verbally express when he was feeling anxious and the aggression disappeared.

He is now 14 in 9th grade and he is the most gentle kid around. He still has anxiety which manifests itself differently (shyness, social anxiety, etc).

The point of my post is that the adults may be trying very hard to manage the behavior. No parent enjoys being the parent of "that kid."

Why did you put quotes around “violent”? Your child was violent. Period. He’s apparently not now, but he was then.

Stuff like putting quotes around violent (which I’m sure came across in the way you spoke about him too, not just the way you’re writing about him) is the exact problem that people have with you. You’re in denial and acting like the violence isn’t that bad or isn’t really violence and so shouldn’t be called that. Acknowledging the problem would have made other parents less frustrated with you.

DP. When you have the child with externalizing behavior (the correct clinical term) the last thing you should care about is what other parents think. Calling out parents, insisting that they make some public acknowledgement that their child is “bad,” does nothing for anyone. Your demands that PP use certain words are all about you, not about the kid and how to help them.

Actually my “demands” are not about me, they’re about my kids. It’s one thing for my kids to be hit by another kid, it’s another for them to be gaslit too with proclamations from adults that their kid isn’t a violent kid with serious issues who is 100% in the wrong.

You’ll note that those kinds of parents always fail to address the impact on the kid who is subjected to the violent kid. It’s just ridiculous. You see it on this thread, and you see it consistently on this board.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am the mother of a child who hit kids every single day in kindergarten. The behavior absolutely mortified me. I was so ashamed and saddened by my son's behavior. We were not an aggressive household and we did everything we could think of to change the behavior: working with a psychologist, working with the school. Of course, the parents of the other kids didn't know this. They only knew that my son was "violent."

Anyway, the behavior completely stopped in first grade. My son has an anxiety disorder and when he was small it came out as aggression. He eventually learned to verbally express when he was feeling anxious and the aggression disappeared.

He is now 14 in 9th grade and he is the most gentle kid around. He still has anxiety which manifests itself differently (shyness, social anxiety, etc).

The point of my post is that the adults may be trying very hard to manage the behavior. No parent enjoys being the parent of "that kid."

Why did you put quotes around “violent”? Your child was violent. Period. He’s apparently not now, but he was then.

Stuff like putting quotes around violent (which I’m sure came across in the way you spoke about him too, not just the way you’re writing about him) is the exact problem that people have with you. You’re in denial and acting like the violence isn’t that bad or isn’t really violence and so shouldn’t be called that. Acknowledging the problem would have made other parents less frustrated with you.

DP. When you have the child with externalizing behavior (the correct clinical term) the last thing you should care about is what other parents think. Calling out parents, insisting that they make some public acknowledgement that their child is “bad,” does nothing for anyone. Your demands that PP use certain words are all about you, not about the kid and how to help them.

Actually my “demands” are not about me, they’re about my kids. It’s one thing for my kids to be hit by another kid, it’s another for them to be gaslit too with proclamations from adults that their kid isn’t a violent kid with serious issues who is 100% in the wrong.

You’ll note that those kinds of parents always fail to address the impact on the kid who is subjected to the violent kid. It’s just ridiculous. You see it on this thread, and you see it consistently on this board.

Yes, I don’t think it’s a coincidence that that type of parent has that type of kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Absolutely not age appropriate. That child should be referred to his or her doctor.

+1. I would do a complete neuropsychology evaluation. I suspect some underlying issue causing the child to act this way.

[Anonymous]

No sorry. Kids aren’t abusers at age 5. There is an age where we assign criminal blame and 5 isn’t it, apparently after the Newport News shooting, first grade isn’t it. You are being ridiculous by calling a 5 or 6 year old an abuser.

OP if you are unhappy, pull your kid out and find a different program for next year. You have philosophical differences with the program. Also, look for private Kindergarten for next year. You will be happier. If you have girl, go same sex or religious with corporal punishment. You will be happier.

[Anonymous]

I mean yes, you can demand whatever you want. That’s about you, not about the kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am the mother of a child who hit kids every single day in kindergarten. The behavior absolutely mortified me. I was so ashamed and saddened by my son's behavior. We were not an aggressive household and we did everything we could think of to change the behavior: working with a psychologist, working with the school. Of course, the parents of the other kids didn't know this. They only knew that my son was "violent."

Anyway, the behavior completely stopped in first grade. My son has an anxiety disorder and when he was small it came out as aggression. He eventually learned to verbally express when he was feeling anxious and the aggression disappeared.

He is now 14 in 9th grade and he is the most gentle kid around. He still has anxiety which manifests itself differently (shyness, social anxiety, etc).

The point of my post is that the adults may be trying very hard to manage the behavior. No parent enjoys being the parent of "that kid."

Why did you put quotes around “violent”? Your child was violent. Period. He’s apparently not now, but he was then.

Stuff like putting quotes around violent (which I’m sure came across in the way you spoke about him too, not just the way you’re writing about him) is the exact problem that people have with you. You’re in denial and acting like the violence isn’t that bad or isn’t really violence and so shouldn’t be called that. Acknowledging the problem would have made other parents less frustrated with you.

DP. When you have the child with externalizing behavior (the correct clinical term) the last thing you should care about is what other parents think. Calling out parents, insisting that they make some public acknowledgement that their child is “bad,” does nothing for anyone. Your demands that PP use certain words are all about you, not about the kid and how to help them.

Actually my “demands” are not about me, they’re about my kids. It’s one thing for my kids to be hit by another kid, it’s another for them to be gaslit too with proclamations from adults that their kid isn’t a violent kid with serious issues who is 100% in the wrong.

You’ll note that those kinds of parents always fail to address the impact on the kid who is subjected to the violent kid. It’s just ridiculous. You see it on this thread, and you see it consistently on this board.

Yes, I don’t think it’s a coincidence that that type of parent has that type of kid.

What do you think “that type of parent” should do? Tar and feather their kid? Send them to jail? Lock them in the basement?

[Anonymous]

Cute goalpost moving. There’s a lot of daylight between 18thC era torture and pointing out that these poor, poor, endlessly self-pitying parents talk about all the “work” they’re doing to curb their violent kids never talk about the damage their kids do.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am the mother of a child who hit kids every single day in kindergarten. The behavior absolutely mortified me. I was so ashamed and saddened by my son's behavior. We were not an aggressive household and we did everything we could think of to change the behavior: working with a psychologist, working with the school. Of course, the parents of the other kids didn't know this. They only knew that my son was "violent."

Anyway, the behavior completely stopped in first grade. My son has an anxiety disorder and when he was small it came out as aggression. He eventually learned to verbally express when he was feeling anxious and the aggression disappeared.

He is now 14 in 9th grade and he is the most gentle kid around. He still has anxiety which manifests itself differently (shyness, social anxiety, etc).

The point of my post is that the adults may be trying very hard to manage the behavior. No parent enjoys being the parent of "that kid."

Why did you put quotes around “violent”? Your child was violent. Period. He’s apparently not now, but he was then.

Stuff like putting quotes around violent (which I’m sure came across in the way you spoke about him too, not just the way you’re writing about him) is the exact problem that people have with you. You’re in denial and acting like the violence isn’t that bad or isn’t really violence and so shouldn’t be called that. Acknowledging the problem would have made other parents less frustrated with you.

DP. When you have the child with externalizing behavior (the correct clinical term) the last thing you should care about is what other parents think. Calling out parents, insisting that they make some public acknowledgement that their child is “bad,” does nothing for anyone. Your demands that PP use certain words are all about you, not about the kid and how to help them.

Actually my “demands” are not about me, they’re about my kids. It’s one thing for my kids to be hit by another kid, it’s another for them to be gaslit too with proclamations from adults that their kid isn’t a violent kid with serious issues who is 100% in the wrong.

You’ll note that those kinds of parents always fail to address the impact on the kid who is subjected to the violent kid. It’s just ridiculous. You see it on this thread, and you see it consistently on this board.

Yes, I don’t think it’s a coincidence that that type of parent has that type of kid.

What do you think “that type of parent” should do? Tar and feather their kid? Send them to jail? Lock them in the basement?