Reply to Is it age appropriate to be punching/hitting at age 5? Unprovoked and no real reason?

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Reply to "Is it age appropriate to be punching/hitting at age 5? Unprovoked and no real reason? "

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am the mother of a child who hit kids every single day in kindergarten. The behavior absolutely mortified me. I was so ashamed and saddened by my son's behavior. We were not an aggressive household and we did everything we could think of to change the behavior: working with a psychologist, working with the school. Of course, the parents of the other kids didn't know this. They only knew that my son was "violent."

Anyway, the behavior completely stopped in first grade. My son has an anxiety disorder and when he was small it came out as aggression. He eventually learned to verbally express when he was feeling anxious and the aggression disappeared.

He is now 14 in 9th grade and he is the most gentle kid around. He still has anxiety which manifests itself differently (shyness, social anxiety, etc).

The point of my post is that the adults may be trying very hard to manage the behavior. No parent enjoys being the parent of "that kid."

[/quote]

Why did you put quotes around “violent”? Your child was violent. Period. He’s apparently not now, but he was then.

Stuff like putting quotes around violent (which I’m sure came across in the way you spoke about him too, not just the way you’re writing about him) is the exact problem that people have with you. You’re in denial and acting like the violence isn’t that bad or isn’t really violence and so shouldn’t be called that. Acknowledging the problem would have made other parents less frustrated with you.[/quote]

DP. When you have the child with externalizing behavior (the correct clinical term) the last thing you should care about is what other parents think. Calling out parents, insisting that they make some public acknowledgement that their child is “bad,” does nothing for anyone. Your demands that PP use certain words are all about you, not about the kid and how to help them. [/quote]

[i]It’s not the job of parents to co-parent their child’s abuser.[/i] [/quote]

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