Why can’t people mind their own business? Especially when they don’t know…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I actually think you handled it well. I say this as someone who DOES get nasty back. Often it just makes the aggressor double down and escalate. You didn't get confrontational, which is what she was looking for with that tone and attitude. Instead you shut her up without sounding defensive or rationalizing, and probably made her feel embarrassed as heck.

The other thing you can do is ignore people like this. I did it once and the woman got so infuriated it was actually pretty entertaining.

[Anonymous]

You should teach your daughter to say "My parents asked me to check in," which gives her some cover but doesn't share medical information. If the person continues she should walk away or yell "Leave me alone!"

For the adult interaction at the swings, though, I would have shared that it's a medical device. You don't owe an explanation, but I think the explanation is more shaming here than "mind your own business" and a normal person (not saying that lady is one) would learn something from that.

I'm sorry this happened to your daughter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I actually think you handled it well. I say this as someone who DOES get nasty back. Often it just makes the aggressor double down and escalate. You didn't get confrontational, which is what she was looking for with that tone and attitude. Instead you shut her up without sounding defensive or rationalizing, and probably made her feel embarrassed as heck.

The other thing you can do is ignore people like this. I did it once and the woman got so infuriated it was actually pretty entertaining.

Or just look her right in the eye and give her a thumbs down. I want to echo what a PP said - CONGRATS for raising a kid who is so responsible with her sugar monitoring. You are doing a GOOD JOB! Amazing, mama!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:…what they’re talking about.

This happened yesterday but I’m still upset.

Entire family went to the park to play. DD7 has type 1 diabetes and has since she was 4. She has a Dexcom on her belly that is not visible unless she’s wearing a thin shirt. The information is connected to my iPhone and an old iPhone that DD keeps with her so she can check her numbers. We decided this was the best route as we continue to teach her how to independently care for herself and her diabetes. Of course I also have access to this information and am always on top of this but our dietician/diabetes educator was the one who suggested this set-up for her particular age range and it works great.

She does have a few games on the iPhone but otherwise a lot is disabled. She knows how she is suppose to use it and we haven’t had any issues with improper or over use.

She had just had a snack at the picnic table and then went to go play. She went and pulled out the phone (in jacket pocket) to check her numbers as she’s suppose to do before and after snacks to get her into the habit. Her diabetes have always been particularly hard to manage so we have to do a lot of extra checks, even with the device.

I noticed a middle aged woman with a toddler came up to her and said something. DD looked upset and came up to me and started crying. She told me the lady told her that she needed to “get off her phone and enjoy the weather” then complained about parents giving kids phones. I comforted DD (who yes, is pretty sensitive. Especially when scolded or corrected my adults. I told her to go play and ignore the woman. I was pretty pissed. But knew there was a chance that DD misinterpreted what she said or that her tone was different.

But I went to push my youngest on the swings next to her and her child/grandchild and she turned to me, pointed to DD and asked, “is she yours?” I said yes and then she got on to me about letting my kid have a phone.

“I know parents these days are all about the electronics but it’s a real shame when I see such a young child with a phone. It’s terrible for their development.”

I kind of just stared. I am so angry at myself because I should have been nasty back and told her where she could go but instead I just said, “that’s how she tracks her blood sugar” in a sheepish voice.

She didn’t seem to respond at all. Just kept pushing her kid.

I’m half angry at myself for not standing up for DD more. I’ve just never had an experience like this and now I’m reeling.

This is where I draw the line at being patient with people. I think you know what to do next time.

I know. It was a quick exchange and I was messing with my youngest. When DD came over I should have approached he woman then, but I didn’t want to go over there huffing if it was a miscommunication.

Lesson learned. Definitely more angry with myself than anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your daughter cried because she's seen you wither when confronted. Your daughter needs to learn to say "I have diabetes and am checking my blood sugar. Maybe YOU should enjoy your baby and this weather and not worry about me."

Damn, every child should really be raised in NYC.

Hard NO, daughter should be taught her medical information is private and tell the other adult, please leave me alone. As a parent, I'd have no issue telling someone to leave my child alone.

Fine, then OP needs to teach her daughter to say "My mom's right there - go tell her."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:…what they’re talking about.

This happened yesterday but I’m still upset.

Entire family went to the park to play. DD7 has type 1 diabetes and has since she was 4. She has a Dexcom on her belly that is not visible unless she’s wearing a thin shirt. The information is connected to my iPhone and an old iPhone that DD keeps with her so she can check her numbers. We decided this was the best route as we continue to teach her how to independently care for herself and her diabetes. Of course I also have access to this information and am always on top of this but our dietician/diabetes educator was the one who suggested this set-up for her particular age range and it works great.

She does have a few games on the iPhone but otherwise a lot is disabled. She knows how she is suppose to use it and we haven’t had any issues with improper or over use.

She had just had a snack at the picnic table and then went to go play. She went and pulled out the phone (in jacket pocket) to check her numbers as she’s suppose to do before and after snacks to get her into the habit. Her diabetes have always been particularly hard to manage so we have to do a lot of extra checks, even with the device.

I noticed a middle aged woman with a toddler came up to her and said something. DD looked upset and came up to me and started crying. She told me the lady told her that she needed to “get off her phone and enjoy the weather” then complained about parents giving kids phones. I comforted DD (who yes, is pretty sensitive. Especially when scolded or corrected my adults. I told her to go play and ignore the woman. I was pretty pissed. But knew there was a chance that DD misinterpreted what she said or that her tone was different.

But I went to push my youngest on the swings next to her and her child/grandchild and she turned to me, pointed to DD and asked, “is she yours?” I said yes and then she got on to me about letting my kid have a phone.

“I know parents these days are all about the electronics but it’s a real shame when I see such a young child with a phone. It’s terrible for their development.”

I kind of just stared. I am so angry at myself because I should have been nasty back and told her where she could go but instead I just said, “that’s how she tracks her blood sugar” in a sheepish voice.

She didn’t seem to respond at all. Just kept pushing her kid.

I’m half angry at myself for not standing up for DD more. I’ve just never had an experience like this and now I’m reeling.

The only answer to this busybody is mind your own business and if you scold my child again you will have me to deal with. You shouldn't have to explain about her diabetes, it is not her place to comment on anything your child is doing unless they are in danger or endangering someone. You could prepare something for your daughter to say - but really it is nobodies business that she has a phone and whether there is a reason why.

[Anonymous]

That just really sucks for the both of you. Diabetes is already a lot to deal with. I think this incident being related to her having to take on this responsibility and then be chastised for it was probably overwhelming. It's like you are doing your diligence and someone harassed you for it so your reaction isn't just "withering" at conflict but more like the straw that breaks the camels back and more emotions bubble up from the stress of diabetes. It makes sense that you'd be so frustrated!

[Anonymous]

You should have told the woman what the phone was for. I agree it’s none of her business but it would have put her in her place. And the reality is, too many kids are sitting on phones when they should be outside, it’s a fact in our society. I have 2 friends with 8 year olds on the sane situation as your kid so I get it.

[Anonymous]

This won’t be the first or the last time this happens so teach your DD to say “are you always this obnoxious to people you don’t know?” and then run off to find you

[Anonymous]

This thread is nuts. The woman was right, kids shouldn't be on phones. As part of your job of teaching your 7 year old to manage her D, you and she need to learn how to advocate: "I'm checking my blood because I have T1, diabetes."

Getting upset or aggressive in response to ignorant questions isn't good advocacy. It takes a village - that includes strangers at playgrounds and includes you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This won’t be the first or the last time this happens so teach your DD to say “are you always this obnoxious to people you don’t know?” and then run off to find you

That's not the right thing to teach a child.

Unless you're in NYC, I guess.

[Anonymous]

I can’t believe so many people feel that the child and OP need to share sensitive medical information to total strangers. Absolutely not.

[Anonymous]

If it makes you feel any better...

A performer in a Broadway show called out an audience member for using her phone during a performance. Allegedly another performer piled on saying "If it's that much of an addiction, you should be outside with the smokers."

The woman was using her smart phone with a theatre-provided assisted hearing device. They only work with smart phones.

The performer made headlines and was berated online. The story got worse and worse with each retelling. i honestly think she seriously damaged her career.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can’t believe so many people feel that the child and OP need to share sensitive medical information to total strangers. Absolutely not.

Diabetes is different.

I suppose you don't have any experience with it - all the more reason for OP and her DD to learn how to talk about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread is nuts. The woman was right, kids shouldn't be on phones. As part of your job of teaching your 7 year old to manage her D, you and she need to learn how to advocate: "I'm checking my blood because I have T1, diabetes."

Getting upset or aggressive in response to ignorant questions isn't good advocacy. It takes a village - that includes strangers at playgrounds and includes you.

Whether she was right or not about kids being on phones, it was none of her damned business. It was not her child so she didn't have any right to say anything to that child about it.