Why can’t people mind their own business? Especially when they don’t know…

[Anonymous]

…what they’re talking about.

This happened yesterday but I’m still upset.

Entire family went to the park to play. DD7 has type 1 diabetes and has since she was 4. She has a Dexcom on her belly that is not visible unless she’s wearing a thin shirt. The information is connected to my iPhone and an old iPhone that DD keeps with her so she can check her numbers. We decided this was the best route as we continue to teach her how to independently care for herself and her diabetes. Of course I also have access to this information and am always on top of this but our dietician/diabetes educator was the one who suggested this set-up for her particular age range and it works great.

She does have a few games on the iPhone but otherwise a lot is disabled. She knows how she is suppose to use it and we haven’t had any issues with improper or over use.

She had just had a snack at the picnic table and then went to go play. She went and pulled out the phone (in jacket pocket) to check her numbers as she’s suppose to do before and after snacks to get her into the habit. Her diabetes have always been particularly hard to manage so we have to do a lot of extra checks, even with the device.

I noticed a middle aged woman with a toddler came up to her and said something. DD looked upset and came up to me and started crying. She told me the lady told her that she needed to “get off her phone and enjoy the weather” then complained about parents giving kids phones. I comforted DD (who yes, is pretty sensitive. Especially when scolded or corrected my adults. I told her to go play and ignore the woman. I was pretty pissed. But knew there was a chance that DD misinterpreted what she said or that her tone was different.

But I went to push my youngest on the swings next to her and her child/grandchild and she turned to me, pointed to DD and asked, “is she yours?” I said yes and then she got on to me about letting my kid have a phone.

“I know parents these days are all about the electronics but it’s a real shame when I see such a young child with a phone. It’s terrible for their development.”

I kind of just stared. I am so angry at myself because I should have been nasty back and told her where she could go but instead I just said, “that’s how she tracks her blood sugar” in a sheepish voice.

She didn’t seem to respond at all. Just kept pushing her kid.

I’m half angry at myself for not standing up for DD more. I’ve just never had an experience like this and now I’m reeling.

[Anonymous]

I would have responded with two words, the second being "off". Next time, OP - and you should teach your daughter how to respond to busybodies who interject themselves.

[Anonymous]

That is really frustrating. The woman who said something to your child and also you is a total a-hole. I'm sorry you had to deal with that. You sound like a great mom btw!

[Anonymous]

I’m saying this with love, op, but you need to grow a set. Maybe even reflect on why you were so intimidated by a stranger who was clueless about why a young child might need access to a smartphone. This could be an issue for your dd in the future. You need to practice an elevator pitch about your dd’s diabetes and that the phone is a tool she uses to manage her blood sugar.

[Anonymous]

I would have put that old biddy in her place. Her behavior was out of line regardless of the diabetes

[Anonymous]

That’s the trouble with a heart break

[Anonymous]

I agree that you and your DD should come up with a pat answer for when anyone-either passively or aggressively-questions her use of a phone. This probably won't be the last time. That woman was a jerk to bother your kid about it, I'm sorry. It amazes me to see the things people think are completely okay to say to strangers, sigh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m saying this with love, op, but you need to grow a set. Maybe even reflect on why you were so intimidated by a stranger who was clueless about why a young child might need access to a smartphone. This could be an issue for your dd in the future. You need to practice an elevator pitch about your dd’s diabetes and that the phone is a tool she uses to manage her blood sugar.

This. I don’t love conflict, either, but you need to find a strong voice to stick up for your kids, partly for you, but mostly for them, so they can see when they need real defending. My parents rarely stood up for me as a kid and I had to work damn hard to learn to do so as an adult.

[Anonymous]

I actually think you handled it well. I say this as someone who DOES get nasty back. Often it just makes the aggressor double down and escalate. You didn't get confrontational, which is what she was looking for with that tone and attitude. Instead you shut her up without sounding defensive or rationalizing, and probably made her feel embarrassed as heck.

[Anonymous]

Only a bully confronts a 7 year old to criticize how the child’s parents are raising her. This is not someone whose opinion should be valued. I’m sad that you felt reluctant to put that woman in her place. You’re doing a great job of empowering your dd to take charge of her health.

I say this gently, as someone who had to master this herself, but for your own sake and your daughters’, try stepping out of your comfort zone when something like this happens. You don’t have to meet someone else’s rude and intrusive behavior with a sincere justification of your choices. It’s okay to tell a stranger that they’re out of line and you’d like to play with your children in peace.

[Anonymous]

Ahh I would have handed that b her ass on a platter on your behalf, OP.

Don’t beat yourself up about this. Maybe keep a response ready in your back pocket for the next time someone mouths off to you.

[Anonymous]

OP, it's already GREAT that you responded, and the absence of answer shows you that you gave this person something to think about.

If you want, you can prepare a fuller sentence ready to go, but what you said was sufficient already. You were never going to get an apology from that sort of person. They will just be shamed into silence, that's all.

I've had similar interactions with my child with different special needs. Anyone who does not fit in will frequently face incomprehension and criticism and has to develop a thick skin as a result.

[Anonymous]

My response would be we don’t have any screen limits. To each their own .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:…what they’re talking about.

This happened yesterday but I’m still upset.

Entire family went to the park to play. DD7 has type 1 diabetes and has since she was 4. She has a Dexcom on her belly that is not visible unless she’s wearing a thin shirt. The information is connected to my iPhone and an old iPhone that DD keeps with her so she can check her numbers. We decided this was the best route as we continue to teach her how to independently care for herself and her diabetes. Of course I also have access to this information and am always on top of this but our dietician/diabetes educator was the one who suggested this set-up for her particular age range and it works great.

She does have a few games on the iPhone but otherwise a lot is disabled. She knows how she is suppose to use it and we haven’t had any issues with improper or over use.

She had just had a snack at the picnic table and then went to go play. She went and pulled out the phone (in jacket pocket) to check her numbers as she’s suppose to do before and after snacks to get her into the habit. Her diabetes have always been particularly hard to manage so we have to do a lot of extra checks, even with the device.

I noticed a middle aged woman with a toddler came up to her and said something. DD looked upset and came up to me and started crying. She told me the lady told her that she needed to “get off her phone and enjoy the weather” then complained about parents giving kids phones. I comforted DD (who yes, is pretty sensitive. Especially when scolded or corrected my adults. I told her to go play and ignore the woman. I was pretty pissed. But knew there was a chance that DD misinterpreted what she said or that her tone was different.

But I went to push my youngest on the swings next to her and her child/grandchild and she turned to me, pointed to DD and asked, “is she yours?” I said yes and then she got on to me about letting my kid have a phone.

“I know parents these days are all about the electronics but it’s a real shame when I see such a young child with a phone. It’s terrible for their development.”

I kind of just stared. I am so angry at myself because I should have been nasty back and told her where she could go but instead I just said, “that’s how she tracks her blood sugar” in a sheepish voice.

She didn’t seem to respond at all. Just kept pushing her kid.

I’m half angry at myself for not standing up for DD more. I’ve just never had an experience like this and now I’m reeling.

I would take this as an experience to prepare you and your daughter on what to say if this happens again. Honestly, this busybody lady is not unique. I hope she is also reeling, except with embarrassment, and similarly takes this as a lesson not only to keep her thoughts to herself, but also learn not to jump to conclusions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:…what they’re talking about.

This happened yesterday but I’m still upset.

Entire family went to the park to play. DD7 has type 1 diabetes and has since she was 4. She has a Dexcom on her belly that is not visible unless she’s wearing a thin shirt. The information is connected to my iPhone and an old iPhone that DD keeps with her so she can check her numbers. We decided this was the best route as we continue to teach her how to independently care for herself and her diabetes. Of course I also have access to this information and am always on top of this but our dietician/diabetes educator was the one who suggested this set-up for her particular age range and it works great.

She does have a few games on the iPhone but otherwise a lot is disabled. She knows how she is suppose to use it and we haven’t had any issues with improper or over use.

She had just had a snack at the picnic table and then went to go play. She went and pulled out the phone (in jacket pocket) to check her numbers as she’s suppose to do before and after snacks to get her into the habit. Her diabetes have always been particularly hard to manage so we have to do a lot of extra checks, even with the device.

+1. I also hope she reads this board and realizes what a busybody *^^% she is.

I noticed a middle aged woman with a toddler came up to her and said something. DD looked upset and came up to me and started crying. She told me the lady told her that she needed to “get off her phone and enjoy the weather” then complained about parents giving kids phones. I comforted DD (who yes, is pretty sensitive. Especially when scolded or corrected my adults. I told her to go play and ignore the woman. I was pretty pissed. But knew there was a chance that DD misinterpreted what she said or that her tone was different.

But I went to push my youngest on the swings next to her and her child/grandchild and she turned to me, pointed to DD and asked, “is she yours?” I said yes and then she got on to me about letting my kid have a phone.

“I know parents these days are all about the electronics but it’s a real shame when I see such a young child with a phone. It’s terrible for their development.”

I kind of just stared. I am so angry at myself because I should have been nasty back and told her where she could go but instead I just said, “that’s how she tracks her blood sugar” in a sheepish voice.

She didn’t seem to respond at all. Just kept pushing her kid.

I’m half angry at myself for not standing up for DD more. I’ve just never had an experience like this and now I’m reeling.

I would take this as an experience to prepare you and your daughter on what to say if this happens again. Honestly, this busybody lady is not unique. I hope she is also reeling, except with embarrassment, and similarly takes this as a lesson not only to keep her thoughts to herself, but also learn not to jump to conclusions.