DD came out as asexual. Anyone BTDT.

[Anonymous]

Asexual is basically the same an non-binary. It's extremely common; my daughter has the same pin on her backpack. She's just a nerd who likes to draw. The labeling craze where you are expected to "identify" as categories has driven this (and the entire alphabet salad that comes after LGB). It used to be these girls were shy and introverted, now they're asexual. My sense is that it won't last, but then again, our society seems to be moving more and more online, so who knows.

[Anonymous]

It’s trendy to “identify” as something unusual, especially for anxious/shy/artsy girls.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No biggie, she is just 25- 30 years ahead of her peers. All good.

Seriously though, just be supportive and kind. She'll figure it out. She is very young. Family pressure or worry about her future reproductive or domestic life won't help.

OMG, FUNNIEST COMMENT IVE HEARD THIS YEAR!!!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Asexual is basically the same an non-binary. It's extremely common; my daughter has the same pin on her backpack. She's just a nerd who likes to draw. The labeling craze where you are expected to "identify" as categories has driven this (and the entire alphabet salad that comes after LGB). It used to be these girls were shy and introverted, now they're asexual. My sense is that it won't last, but then again, our society seems to be moving more and more online, so who knows.

This describes my teenage daughter to a tee, as well. I’m not really sure what liking drawing has to do with one’s sexuality, but it is definitely a big thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Asexual is basically the same an non-binary. It's extremely common; my daughter has the same pin on her backpack. She's just a nerd who likes to draw. The labeling craze where you are expected to "identify" as categories has driven this (and the entire alphabet salad that comes after LGB). It used to be these girls were shy and introverted, now they're asexual. My sense is that it won't last, but then again, our society seems to be moving more and more online, so who knows.

Not true at all.

One is about who you are sexually attracted to (if anyone), the other is about how you self-identify.

Please get educated, I feel bad for your child!

[Anonymous]

It is soul-crushing what social media, and what it pushes, has done to a whole generation. This is the real pandemic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Asexual is basically the same an non-binary. It's extremely common; my daughter has the same pin on her backpack. She's just a nerd who likes to draw. The labeling craze where you are expected to "identify" as categories has driven this (and the entire alphabet salad that comes after LGB). It used to be these girls were shy and introverted, now they're asexual. My sense is that it won't last, but then again, our society seems to be moving more and more online, so who knows.

Not true at all.

One is about who you are sexually attracted to (if anyone), the other is about how you self-identify.

Please get educated, I feel bad for your child!

I’m not the PP, but I think what they meant was that these two identifications are very common among a certain type of young person these days. Sometimes separately, sometimes in tandem. And I agree with them, based on what I’ve observed among my child’s peers.

[Anonymous]

Is she on anxiety medication? My DS has not told us he is asexual but he has said that he once was attracted to people and no longer is. Apparently this can be a long lasting side effect of SSRIs even when they are discontinued. The scary part is it can be permanent. DS’s psychiatrist thinks that it’s the anxiety itself that is preventing him from feeling attracted to others. He does have social anxiety.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Asexual is basically the same an non-binary. It's extremely common; my daughter has the same pin on her backpack. She's just a nerd who likes to draw. The labeling craze where you are expected to "identify" as categories has driven this (and the entire alphabet salad that comes after LGB). It used to be these girls were shy and introverted, now they're asexual. My sense is that it won't last, but then again, our society seems to be moving more and more online, so who knows.

Not true at all.

One is about who you are sexually attracted to (if anyone), the other is about how you self-identify.

Please get educated, I feel bad for your child!

I’m not the PP, but I think what they meant was that these two identifications are very common among a certain type of young person these days. Sometimes separately, sometimes in tandem. And I agree with them, based on what I’ve observed among my child’s peers.

I also agree. What I observe is about 98 percent of the self-labeling is occurring among girls who go through puberty and look around and realize being a sexualized woman blows in our culture and so they’re finding ways to pro-actively opt out. Doesn’t mean they will forever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is soul-crushing what social media, and what it pushes, has done to a whole generation. This is the real pandemic.

+1000

It's not just social media, unfortunately, although it is the great spreader.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 18 year, who is a freshman in college, told me recently that she is asexual. She has never had a boyfriend and says she has never had a crush on a boy or a girl. But, she’s also a very anxious kid, who spent end of sophomore and junior years in HS in tele-learning, and most of her HS friends didn’t date. I told her that was fine, and that what was important in life was developing high quality relationships, and those relationships didn’t have to be romantic or sexual. I also told her that die to modern fertility treatments, she could choose to have children (or not) without being in a sexual relationship.

There is so much these days about LGBTQ. Does anyone have a kid who is asexual? Did they continue to identify as asexual as they got older? I’m taking her seriously and certainly not telling her she’s not asexual. But I wonder if COVID lockdowns played a role in making her less socially advanced. As an added twist, she is below the 1% in BMI (not an earring disorder, just how she has always been) and doesn’t produce enough estrogen to control her period. So, she hemorrhages for half the month unless she’s on BC pills. So, I wonder if there is a hormonal element at play.

Any thoughts (of the nice, helpful variety)?

Why are you involved in another adult sex life? Their sex life is private and they are the ones who have to deal with it regardless of how they identify themselves. You don't need to label them because they experience different things at that age. Just stay away from other people private lives.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is soul-crushing what social media, and what it pushes, has done to a whole generation. This is the real pandemic.

This plus covid = disaster.

[Anonymous]

Take her to the doctor to make sure she doesn't have some kind of hormonal imbalance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 18 year, who is a freshman in college, told me recently that she is asexual. She has never had a boyfriend and says she has never had a crush on a boy or a girl. But, she’s also a very anxious kid, who spent end of sophomore and junior years in HS in tele-learning, and most of her HS friends didn’t date. I told her that was fine, and that what was important in life was developing high quality relationships, and those relationships didn’t have to be romantic or sexual. I also told her that die to modern fertility treatments, she could choose to have children (or not) without being in a sexual relationship.

There is so much these days about LGBTQ. Does anyone have a kid who is asexual? Did they continue to identify as asexual as they got older? I’m taking her seriously and certainly not telling her she’s not asexual. But I wonder if COVID lockdowns played a role in making her less socially advanced. As an added twist, she is below the 1% in BMI (not an earring disorder, just how she has always been) and doesn’t produce enough estrogen to control her period. So, she hemorrhages for half the month unless she’s on BC pills. So, I wonder if there is a hormonal element at play.

Any thoughts (of the nice, helpful variety)?

Why are you involved in another adult sex life? Their sex life is private and they are the ones who have to deal with it regardless of how they identify themselves. You don't need to label them because they experience different things at that age. Just stay away from other people private lives.

Because she's her child, and because her child brought it up. That's why. Are you a robot or something, that you don't understand human life on earth yet?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry, OP. If it were me, and I was in this situation with a DD this age, I would plan to spend a ton of time with her this summer and try to get to the bottom of what is going on. You state that she has a lot of anxiety; I would start with helping her work to alleviate that. Exercise, healthy eating, fun job this summer, some travel - what can you do to help her get back on track and get her anxiety under control?

And don't forget - these are the Covid kids who suffered so much during the lockdowns. We are going to be dealing with things like this for years to come.

There is nothing to be sorry for and nothing to deal with because OPs DD does not have sexual feelings for anyone. She is not broken.

I’m guessing it didn’t occur to you that some of her anxiety could be stemming from the fact that she keeps getting messages that she should WANT to be some kind of sexual, that she’ll end up alone, etc.

And you know this how? You are the DD's psychologist or physician?

I am telling OP what I would do. If my 18 YO daughter came to me and said that she is determining herself to be asexual, you'd best believe I would act quickly to help her in any way that I could. OP herself mentioned the anxiety, so obviously we can conclude that plays some factor in this.

PP, are you so wedded to an agenda that you are not open to the idea that the DD may be different than you?

DP. Why are you so wedded to an agenda that you are not open to the idea that the DD may actually know she’s asexual (just as other kids her age know they’re straight or gay) and may NOT be different from PP?