Same college, same sorority, many of my prettiest sorority sisters did not marry well. Who did?

[Anonymous]

I went to NE boarding school in the 90s as a middle class kid. I was so into the academics and taken with the rarified intellectual environment and my newfound independence that I missed the chance of dating seriously. Looking back, many smart and good looking guys were interested in me but I wasn't mature enough to start a relationship. Similarly, went to great universities but pursued a liberal arts path that led to a low-paying career. Ended up marrying a guy who took a similar path, also smart and UMC in the sane field, and things ended up fine with two amazing kids. Wish I had open my eyes a bit sooner to the possibilities all around me when I was younger. though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are surprised that people with money marry people with money?

Breaking news: rich people are good at staying rich 😂

Yep, that's the way the world works. Look at the Hilton sisters. When it came to marriage and having kids, their parents made sure they both married men who were family friends that also had extremely high levels of inherited wealth, thus keeping both families very rich.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are surprised that people with money marry people with money?

+1. Is this really the first time you've noticed this, OP?

None of my public school sorority sisters grew up deprived. Public or prep high school, all of us were more or less from the same cluster of affluent towns. Of course if you force me to think, I guess I understand the richest tend to marry rich, but I've never seen such a close controlled data set where it's literally 100% of the private/prep school women married well and it's so hit and miss with their prettier public school peers. I was shocked last night as I was clicking through Facebook friends, so I thought I'd share. I did not know this was so obvious and common.

Again with the "data set" lingo! Hilarious. What's your control group for determining who is "prettier"? We'd love to know.

[Anonymous]

Where did you go to college? I went to a fancy prep school K-12 and went to a top university. If I looked at my sorority sister based on how they grew up (i.e. MC, UMC, UC) and how they ended up, that would be much more telling than who was the prettiest. Money begets money. It's easier being pretty, but it's not going to catapult you into wealth/status alone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Where did you go to college? I went to a fancy prep school K-12 and went to a top university. If I looked at my sorority sister based on how they grew up (i.e. MC, UMC, UC) and how they ended up, that would be much more telling than who was the prettiest. Money begets money. It's easier being pretty, but it's not going to catapult you into wealth/status alone.

Public flagship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thai is literally the reason people send their kids to private schools op to mingle with other rich kids.

Only a handful are married to men they went to high school with.

You don’t get it. I went to a private school in DC. We hung out with kids from other DC private schools. I cannot think of one public school kid we hung out with with the exception of summer swim team. So you meet other private school friends, visit them in college, meet their private school college friends, go to the same county clubs and beaches, and ski resorts, etc.

+1

I went to a private school in California. Everyone I knew except a few kids from church went to private school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are surprised that people with money marry people with money?

+1. Is this really the first time you've noticed this, OP?

None of my public school sorority sisters grew up deprived. Public or prep high school, all of us were more or less from the same cluster of affluent towns. Of course if you force me to think, I guess I understand the richest tend to marry rich, but I've never seen such a close controlled data set where it's literally 100% of the private/prep school women married well and it's so hit and miss with their prettier public school peers. I was shocked last night as I was clicking through Facebook friends, so I thought I'd share. I did not know this was so obvious and common.

Again with the "data set" lingo! Hilarious. What's your control group for determining who is "prettier"? We'd love to know.

My eyes? Beauty standards? And the frank conversations sisters would have about each other. Complimenting the prettiest sisters. The amount of boys we'd see falling in love with our gorgeous sisters. The average-looking sisters being sort of ignored and struggling to get dates to events (this cohort included me!). Those average-looking sisters who went to prep schools all married well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Where did you go to college? I went to a fancy prep school K-12 and went to a top university. If I looked at my sorority sister based on how they grew up (i.e. MC, UMC, UC) and how they ended up, that would be much more telling than who was the prettiest. Money begets money. It's easier being pretty, but it's not going to catapult you into wealth/status alone.

Agree. The really rich kids (large amounts of inherited wealth) married other people with large amounts of inherited wealth.

The kids of the suburban professionals tended to marry other kids of suburban professionals (there was some range in incomes but they all fell into the category of suburban professional types--lawyers, accountants, medicine, corporate manager types, federal workers, etc.).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are surprised that people with money marry people with money?

+1. Is this really the first time you've noticed this, OP?

None of my public school sorority sisters grew up deprived. Public or prep high school, all of us were more or less from the same cluster of affluent towns. Of course if you force me to think, I guess I understand the richest tend to marry rich, but I've never seen such a close controlled data set where it's literally 100% of the private/prep school women married well and it's so hit and miss with their prettier public school peers. I was shocked last night as I was clicking through Facebook friends, so I thought I'd share. I did not know this was so obvious and common.

I can't think of a single person I went to my private high school with who is divorced. In our graduating class I knew of only two kids who had divorced parents.

[Anonymous]

I feel like the original post assumes that "marrying well" means "marrying rich," and I've never considered those to be the same thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where did you go to college? I went to a fancy prep school K-12 and went to a top university. If I looked at my sorority sister based on how they grew up (i.e. MC, UMC, UC) and how they ended up, that would be much more telling than who was the prettiest. Money begets money. It's easier being pretty, but it's not going to catapult you into wealth/status alone.

Public flagship.

Ok... That could be UVA or the University of Buffalo, so not very helpful.

Anyway, some of my "prettiest" sorority sisters (as I viewed them in college) were from the poorest backgrounds. Go figure. Wealthy people know how to make average look nice, and also stay nice looking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel like the original post assumes that "marrying well" means "marrying rich," and I've never considered those to be the same thing.

Please don't put words in my mouth. I used marrying well as a catch-all for ambitious, successful and clean-cut husband, very comfortable living, children, and no divorces.

[Anonymous]

This seems a little creepy that you have examined all 160 of your sorority sisters marriages through social media or gossip. Does it make you feel superior to them so that’s why you did it?

[Anonymous]

I went to a fancy prep school and am above average looks wise. I married a guy from a small town in Ohio who went to public schools his whole life.
My best friend who was prettier and went to Harvard, married a guy from a small Canadian town.
Most of my HS friends married similar types of guys.
That being said, we all married “well” in the sense that our DHs are successful and we have successful marriages.
Also, we make our own money!!

[Anonymous]

Op, my DD is currently a member of a rather large sorority. I just visited and had dinner with six of them, including my DD. Everyone of these girls are STEM major with three of them pre-med, and while they are magazine gorgeous (so jealous!) the last thing I cared about was their boyfriend status. They talked about their upcoming summer internships, studying abroad and sadly, many family health issues. I know from my DD's photos which she shares that they all have boyfriends but strangely no of them talked about their relationships. I'm guessing it is secondary to them at this time and a "ring in Spring" is not a thing these days. No judgement, great if that happens and both the people involved are committed but please do not label sorority girls as marriage hunting fools. They are so much more these days, so much. Signed a SAHM, loving wife and alumni of said sorority. I am so proud of how far the sorority world has come for these young ladies!