Same college, same sorority, many of my prettiest sorority sisters did not marry well. Who did?

[Anonymous]

There were about 160 sisters in my sorority over 20 years ago. Looking back, while some of the prettiest classic beauty sisters married well, frankly, many of them did not. They frequently complain about finances, many are on second marriages, and some are single divorcees dating much older men. A handful never married and have no children – they seem to have successful careers. With the benefit of hindsight, who seems to have married the best? As crazy as this probably sounds, I double-checked this on Facebook last night and literally all of my sisters who went to ritzy private day schools and boarding schools married well. Literally 100%. All of them are married to either successful MDs, law partners, business executives, or entrepreneurs. No divorces. All of them have children. They live in elegant homes, especially for our age range, in premier neighborhoods. And for the sake of total honestly, these sisters were and are largely average appearance-wise. I am not saying that to be cruel or out of jealously, I was also average if not below average for our chapter, and I went to public school.

Is there something to this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There were about 160 sisters in my sorority over 20 years ago. Looking back, while some of the prettiest classic beauty sisters married well, frankly, many of them did not. They frequently complain about finances, many are on second marriages, and some are single divorcees dating much older men. A handful never married and have no children – they seem to have successful careers. With the benefit of hindsight, who seems to have married the best? As crazy as this probably sounds, I double-checked this on Facebook last night and literally all of my sisters who went to ritzy private day schools and boarding schools married well. Literally 100%. All of them are married to either successful MDs, law partners, business executives, or entrepreneurs. No divorces. All of them have children. They live in elegant homes, especially for our age range, in premier neighborhoods. And for the sake of total honestly, these sisters were and are largely average appearance-wise. I am not saying that to be cruel or out of jealously, I was also average if not below average for our chapter, and I went to public school.

Is there something to this?

You need help.

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry, I didn't realize the purpose of sororities was to ensure its members married well. What millenia are we in?

[Anonymous]

Hello. Are you transmitting to us from 1953? Welcome, time traveler.

[Anonymous]

The only thing that you've learned here is that you are shallow and think like a twelve year old. The "prettiest" sisters in your sorority had nothing in common but looks. The sisters who went to the ritziest schools likely had much more in common - coming from UMC or wealthy families, with parents still together, networks of similarly-situated boys/men to interact with, pressure (either healthy or undue) to listen to their parents' advice re: marriage so they aren't cut off, and what amounts to a modern day dowry to attract these successful men. Growing up rich doesn't guarantee a good outcome, but you being shocked that it improves the odds is a little ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry, I didn't realize the purpose of sororities was to ensure its members married well. What millenia are we in?

Hi, OP here. I didn't say that there was a purpose? I rushed just to have fun and because everyone in my dorms seemed to be rushing (my parents were not ever involved in it or anything). In retrospect it just provides a data set of 160 close peers to compare to over 20 years later.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There were about 160 sisters in my sorority over 20 years ago. Looking back, while some of the prettiest classic beauty sisters married well, frankly, many of them did not. They frequently complain about finances, many are on second marriages, and some are single divorcees dating much older men. A handful never married and have no children – they seem to have successful careers. With the benefit of hindsight, who seems to have married the best? As crazy as this probably sounds, I double-checked this on Facebook last night and literally all of my sisters who went to ritzy private day schools and boarding schools married well. Literally 100%. All of them are married to either successful MDs, law partners, business executives, or entrepreneurs. No divorces. All of them have children. They live in elegant homes, especially for our age range, in premier neighborhoods. And for the sake of total honestly, these sisters were and are largely average appearance-wise. I am not saying that to be cruel or out of jealously, I was also average if not below average for our chapter, and I went to public school.

Is there something to this?

You're something, all right.

[Anonymous]

You are surprised that people with money marry people with money?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry, I didn't realize the purpose of sororities was to ensure its members married well. What millenia are we in?

That is and always has been the entire purpose of sororities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There were about 160 sisters in my sorority over 20 years ago. Looking back, while some of the prettiest classic beauty sisters married well, frankly, many of them did not. They frequently complain about finances, many are on second marriages, and some are single divorcees dating much older men. A handful never married and have no children – they seem to have successful careers. With the benefit of hindsight, who seems to have married the best? As crazy as this probably sounds, I double-checked this on Facebook last night and literally all of my sisters who went to ritzy private day schools and boarding schools married well. Literally 100%. All of them are married to either successful MDs, law partners, business executives, or entrepreneurs. No divorces. All of them have children. They live in elegant homes, especially for our age range, in premier neighborhoods. And for the sake of total honestly, these sisters were and are largely average appearance-wise. I am not saying that to be cruel or out of jealously, I was also average if not below average for our chapter, and I went to public school.

Is there something to this?

You do not know what is going on is someone else’s marriage or their finances.

[Anonymous]

1. Coming from an upper middle class, private school background, I can tell you that a lot of importance is placed on financial and emotional stability. Those things are typically best achieved through marriage where at least one person is gainfully employed and there is no divorce. It's not explicitly taught - you just grow up in it and emulate it. Something has to happen for you to choose another path. Things do happen! I have lower-income unmarried cousins, childless cousins, etc. If your parents do their job right, you are placed to meet people of the same background and life goals.

2. Now is that the "best" way to live your life? It entirely depends on what you want, and what happens to you. Your premise of "marrying well" is deeply flawed, OP. My lower-income unmarried cousin has had a very fulfilling and adventurous life. She is highly intellectual, has two PhDs and is happy with her choices. There is a happy path out there for everyone.

[Anonymous]

Thai is literally the reason people send their kids to private schools op to mingle with other rich kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The only thing that you've learned here is that you are shallow and think like a twelve year old. The "prettiest" sisters in your sorority had nothing in common but looks. The sisters who went to the ritziest schools likely had much more in common - coming from UMC or wealthy families, with parents still together, networks of similarly-situated boys/men to interact with, pressure (either healthy or undue) to listen to their parents' advice re: marriage so they aren't cut off, and what amounts to a modern day dowry to attract these successful men. Growing up rich doesn't guarantee a good outcome, but you being shocked that it improves the odds is a little ridiculous.

You may be right. But nobody in our sorority was low middle class as the dues were pricey, as were events, dresses, and travel. Public school K-12 sisters seemed to be just as wealthy if not wealthier than private school K-12 sisters. If there were differences in household finances, it wasn't like a stark difference. Many were even from the same exact ritzy towns. I honestly don't think it's family wealth, my initial hunch is this has to do with the prep school alumni network and friends of the prep school alumni network. Or maybe there's something to the so-called pedigree. I do not know if men are attracted to the pedigree of a fancy K-12 but I've read references to pedigree in regards to private schools and elite colleges. And of course the NYT wedding section used to be seized with academic pedigree.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are surprised that people with money marry people with money?

Breaking news: rich people are good at staying rich 😂

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hello. Are you transmitting to us from 1953? Welcome, time traveler.

1953 wouldn't have access to such a complete picture. You'd hear so and so married well but that is vague. Now you hear play-by-play gossip and insights from college friend group chats and you can pull everything up on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn and Zillow. Leaves nothing to the imagination.