Same college, same sorority, many of my prettiest sorority sisters did not marry well. Who did?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m curious to what incomes and net worths are considered rich to these people who are marrying one another.

I’m a public school who went to an ivy. I met my DH in grad school. He also went to an ivy. I think more people meet and marry from college, grad school and meet during their young professional lives.

I wasn’t in a sorority. It seems really strange that OP is keeping tabs of these people from her sorority and she is trying to rank them. How would she even know how well they all married? Just from social media?

We live very well. I don’t post. I don’t think my old childhood friends could tell I married well from my social media.

It is not about family net worth or trust funds. That is just a cope. Private school molds you in unique ways which can not be replicated or faked. And boarding school alumni are even more unique than local prep day school alumni. There was a thread on dcum years ago about private school kids having a je ne se quoi. A certain something. It is hard to explain but you know it when you see it. This goes over the head of most public school alumni, ex. OP naively thinks all of her sisters were the same because on paper they were at the same college, in the same sorority, and studying the same majors. They were not the same. The private and boarding school educated women were unique in ways very attractive to the most desirable bachelors.

+1 I can spot the private school kids in a coffee shop

lol no you can’t. please stop.

people see what they want to see.

so many in this thread sound pathetic.

+1000

They'd ignore a kid dressed in baggy clothes but start to worship him the minute he mentioned that he's going to Deerfield or Andover or whatever. Sad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m curious to what incomes and net worths are considered rich to these people who are marrying one another.

I’m a public school who went to an ivy. I met my DH in grad school. He also went to an ivy. I think more people meet and marry from college, grad school and meet during their young professional lives.

I wasn’t in a sorority. It seems really strange that OP is keeping tabs of these people from her sorority and she is trying to rank them. How would she even know how well they all married? Just from social media?

We live very well. I don’t post. I don’t think my old childhood friends could tell I married well from my social media.

It is not about family net worth or trust funds. That is just a cope. Private school molds you in unique ways which can not be replicated or faked. And boarding school alumni are even more unique than local prep day school alumni. There was a thread on dcum years ago about private school kids having a je ne se quoi. A certain something. It is hard to explain but you know it when you see it. This goes over the head of most public school alumni, ex. OP naively thinks all of her sisters were the same because on paper they were at the same college, in the same sorority, and studying the same majors. They were not the same. The private and boarding school educated women were unique in ways very attractive to the most desirable bachelors.

I dunno about this. Believing that Bullis or Flint Hill students or kids from some random podunk private school are charismatic beasts is trying to justify an inflated price paid for their education, aka cope. I know (gasp!) unattractive, fake, and striver boarding school alumni who are most definitely not pulling the most desirable men. It's like people on here idolize a certain set of kids and seem to think they all follow the same golden path. They don't.

I can guarantee you the kid from Bullis or Flint Hill is better dressed & has better manners than the kid from public school. The difference is especially start when it comes to males.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m curious to what incomes and net worths are considered rich to these people who are marrying one another.

I’m a public school who went to an ivy. I met my DH in grad school. He also went to an ivy. I think more people meet and marry from college, grad school and meet during their young professional lives.

I wasn’t in a sorority. It seems really strange that OP is keeping tabs of these people from her sorority and she is trying to rank them. How would she even know how well they all married? Just from social media?

We live very well. I don’t post. I don’t think my old childhood friends could tell I married well from my social media.

It is not about family net worth or trust funds. That is just a cope. Private school molds you in unique ways which can not be replicated or faked. And boarding school alumni are even more unique than local prep day school alumni. There was a thread on dcum years ago about private school kids having a je ne se quoi. A certain something. It is hard to explain but you know it when you see it. This goes over the head of most public school alumni, ex. OP naively thinks all of her sisters were the same because on paper they were at the same college, in the same sorority, and studying the same majors. They were not the same. The private and boarding school educated women were unique in ways very attractive to the most desirable bachelors.

I dunno about this. Believing that Bullis or Flint Hill students or kids from some random podunk private school are charismatic beasts is trying to justify an inflated price paid for their education, aka cope. I know (gasp!) unattractive, fake, and striver boarding school alumni who are most definitely not pulling the most desirable men. It's like people on here idolize a certain set of kids and seem to think they all follow the same golden path. They don't.

We get it, you can’t afford private. Thanks for taking the time out of your trolling in the private school forum to…. troll in the relationship forum.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m curious to what incomes and net worths are considered rich to these people who are marrying one another.

I’m a public school who went to an ivy. I met my DH in grad school. He also went to an ivy. I think more people meet and marry from college, grad school and meet during their young professional lives.

I wasn’t in a sorority. It seems really strange that OP is keeping tabs of these people from her sorority and she is trying to rank them. How would she even know how well they all married? Just from social media?

We live very well. I don’t post. I don’t think my old childhood friends could tell I married well from my social media.

It is not about family net worth or trust funds. That is just a cope. Private school molds you in unique ways which can not be replicated or faked. And boarding school alumni are even more unique than local prep day school alumni. There was a thread on dcum years ago about private school kids having a je ne se quoi. A certain something. It is hard to explain but you know it when you see it. This goes over the head of most public school alumni, ex. OP naively thinks all of her sisters were the same because on paper they were at the same college, in the same sorority, and studying the same majors. They were not the same. The private and boarding school educated women were unique in ways very attractive to the most desirable bachelors.

I dunno about this. Believing that Bullis or Flint Hill students or kids from some random podunk private school are charismatic beasts is trying to justify an inflated price paid for their education, aka cope. I know (gasp!) unattractive, fake, and striver boarding school alumni who are most definitely not pulling the most desirable men. It's like people on here idolize a certain set of kids and seem to think they all follow the same golden path. They don't.

I can guarantee you the kid from Bullis or Flint Hill is better dressed & has better manners than the kid from public school. The difference is especially start when it comes to males.

LOL. Your parents should ask for a refund from your private school tuition.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry, I didn't realize the purpose of sororities was to ensure its members married well. What millenia are we in?

Of course that is part of the reason for sororities. The reality is that marriage has historically( and still is) been a major factor in explaining the wealth of women. No point in denying reality because of political correctness.

I want my daughter to be well educated and financially ambitious. I'm also hopeful that given the wealthy circles she surrounds herself with--country clubs and private schools--that she will marry wealthy as well. And yes, I emphasize to always try to be attractive and slim if possible...not PC to the liberal intelligencia, but that's ok.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry, I didn't realize the purpose of sororities was to ensure its members married well. What millenia are we in?

Of course that is part of the reason for sororities. The reality is that marriage has historically( and still is) been a major factor in explaining the wealth of women. No point in denying reality because of political correctness.

I want my daughter to be well educated and financially ambitious. I'm also hopeful that given the wealthy circles she surrounds herself with--country clubs and private schools--that she will marry wealthy as well. And yes, I emphasize to always try to be attractive and slim if possible...not PC to the liberal intelligencia, but that's ok.

Wow. Your poor daughter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m curious to what incomes and net worths are considered rich to these people who are marrying one another.

I’m a public school who went to an ivy. I met my DH in grad school. He also went to an ivy. I think more people meet and marry from college, grad school and meet during their young professional lives.

I wasn’t in a sorority. It seems really strange that OP is keeping tabs of these people from her sorority and she is trying to rank them. How would she even know how well they all married? Just from social media?

We live very well. I don’t post. I don’t think my old childhood friends could tell I married well from my social media.

It is not about family net worth or trust funds. That is just a cope. Private school molds you in unique ways which can not be replicated or faked. And boarding school alumni are even more unique than local prep day school alumni. There was a thread on dcum years ago about private school kids having a je ne se quoi. A certain something. It is hard to explain but you know it when you see it. This goes over the head of most public school alumni, ex. OP naively thinks all of her sisters were the same because on paper they were at the same college, in the same sorority, and studying the same majors. They were not the same. The private and boarding school educated women were unique in ways very attractive to the most desirable bachelors.

+1 I can spot the private school kids in a coffee shop

lol no you can’t. please stop.

people see what they want to see.

so many in this thread sound pathetic.

+1000

They'd ignore a kid dressed in baggy clothes but start to worship him the minute he mentioned that he's going to Deerfield or Andover or whatever. Sad.

He was a sk8tr boi, she said see you later boy, he wasn’t good enough for herrr, he was a punk, she did ballet, what more can I sayyyyyyy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Back to the op’s point, I think the prettiest, flashiest girls are more likely to end up with players and with bad boys. Those men value physical beauty and while they might not be super successful, they know how to manipulate and charm women so they target and can successfully match up with the pretty women. It’s why so many supermodels and actresses end up with bad boy types or men with major issues like addiction etc. For the less conventionally beautiful women, they are less likely to be targeted by these men.

I agree.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Claiming it’s devious and shallow guys after family money is a coping strategy. Most prep school alumni are not trust fund stereotypes. It boils down to simply steeping for 15 years in a private school. Pre K-12 does exponentially more to mold your disposition and foundation than college ever will. No parent wants to admit that because nobody wants to confront the fact that their overachieving public school child could claw into an elite college and they will not be given a fresh clean slate once they get there. And as OP detailed, even average-looking underachieving prep school alumni can go slack off at a party college and rush the same sorority as your daughter, but they will clean up the cream of the crop bachelors. It ain’t family money, it’s the fact that we’re all pretty baked in the cake by age 18. There is nothing you can do to replicate or catch up to peers who spent 15 years in a private school ethos. And the boys (and girls) who desire that disposition quickly tease “it” out of whomever they’re talking to. As the kids say, it’s a whole vibe.

Please tell us, what is this “ethos?” Is it looking down on people who are different or less wealthy than you?

We have a high net worth and annual income, and lead a wonderful lifestyle, but there is something so off-putting about all the area privates that we have so far refused to enroll our (early elementary) kids. Our own families are European (Christian)-American-Israeli(Jewish). There are many advanced degrees and a few successful entrepreneurs in the family. My kid’s best friend is a first generation Ethiopian boy whose dad is a truck driver and whose mom works retail. This kid’s “ethos,” to borrow your term, is to be a generous, thoughtful and kind friend; he’s also excelling at school and is the best athlete in three sports without ever boasting about it. When I compare that kid with the neighborhood private school kids, it’s clear to me which “ethos” we’d rather have around our children. The private school kids are entitled, loud, and while they know how to be polite, they do it as if to fulfill a checklist, and not out of genuine concern for others.
We would like better teacher-student ratios and smaller schools, but not at the expense of our kids growing up to believe they are better than others simply because their family has more money.

[Anonymous]

I am a baked in private school person and I agree. Also, I have to say, among my friends who attended public vs private, the public people lacked that prep school veneer / entitlement but have kicked ass professionally and are on the whole more successful as adults even without behaving like characters out of the movie Metropolitan.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There were about 160 sisters in my sorority over 20 years ago. Looking back, while some of the prettiest classic beauty sisters married well, frankly, many of them did not. They frequently complain about finances, many are on second marriages, and some are single divorcees dating much older men. A handful never married and have no children – they seem to have successful careers. With the benefit of hindsight, who seems to have married the best? As crazy as this probably sounds, I double-checked this on Facebook last night and literally all of my sisters who went to ritzy private day schools and boarding schools married well. Literally 100%. All of them are married to either successful MDs, law partners, business executives, or entrepreneurs. No divorces. All of them have children. They live in elegant homes, especially for our age range, in premier neighborhoods. And for the sake of total honestly, these sisters were and are largely average appearance-wise. I am not saying that to be cruel or out of jealously, I was also average if not below average for our chapter, and I went to public school.

Is there something to this?

Just how pathetic are you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Back to the op’s point, I think the prettiest, flashiest girls are more likely to end up with players and with bad boys. Those men value physical beauty and while they might not be super successful, they know how to manipulate and charm women so they target and can successfully match up with the pretty women. It’s why so many supermodels and actresses end up with bad boy types or men with major issues like addiction etc. For the less conventionally beautiful women, they are less likely to be targeted by these men.

I agree.

I agree with this, too. I am from Los Angeles and the prettiest girls get targeted by the "bad boys" for sure--the broke but charming musicians with drug problems, etc. They also get preyed on by men "in the industry" since they want to be models, actresses etc.

[Anonymous]

PP here...the two most beautiful girls in my high school both tried to make it ubsuccessfully "in the industry" and both are still single after dating and getting dumped by a series of bad boy types. We're 40-41 now.

[Anonymous]

There are plenty of awkwardly stiff guys who pull there pants up too high that came from public too. I doubt you can tell they were from public.

[Anonymous]

There are so many posts here I have counterexamples for but I still find it interesting to hear what generalizations people make or what they consider successful endeavors.