DH won't let DS (11) attend camps

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP this will only get worse. He will prohibit your son from going on school trips, dating and so much more.

Doubt it. He'll probably just prohibit him from sleep overs with adult men. For example, he may not want him traveling with the coach and staying in his hotel room for an out of state soccer tournament. I don't see the correlation with school dances or dating, though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP this will only get worse. He will prohibit your son from going on school trips, dating and so much more.

Doubt it. He'll probably just prohibit him from sleep overs with adult men. For example, he may not want him traveling with the coach and staying in his hotel room for an out of state soccer tournament. I don't see the correlation with school dances or dating, though.

I can think of no sport or activity where this is allowed!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have to admit, these responses make me sad. DS was bound and determined to attend a pre-admissions camp at his dream school before his junior year, and it looks like that won't happen, either. I know I don't have to tell him no now, but it seems like I'm just kicking that down the road.

Thanks.

They're insanely expensive compared to shadowing a student, taking a class or just doing the regular campus tour, and they do NOT help with admissions. Please disabuse your kid on this.

[Anonymous]

This is my friends husband as well, although he has a list of things his children are not permitted to do. Go to camp, cross a busy road (even at a cross walk), horseback riding...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have to admit, these responses make me sad. DS was bound and determined to attend a pre-admissions camp at his dream school before his junior year, and it looks like that won't happen, either. I know I don't have to tell him no now, but it seems like I'm just kicking that down the road.

Thanks.

They're insanely expensive compared to shadowing a student, taking a class or just doing the regular campus tour, and they do NOT help with admissions. Please disabuse your kid on this.

Neither of which are allowed at his dream school. I am aware it doesn't help with admissions, but he does need to get a better idea of what he would be in for.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP this will only get worse. He will prohibit your son from going on school trips, dating and so much more.

Doubt it. He'll probably just prohibit him from sleep overs with adult men. For example, he may not want him traveling with the coach and staying in his hotel room for an out of state soccer tournament. I don't see the correlation with school dances or dating, though.

I can think of no sport or activity where this is allowed!

https://nbcmontana.com/news/local/whitefish-youth-hockey-coach-in-custody-for-rape-charge

He was "Safe Sport Certified" and all that good stuff, and he ran residential sleepaway hockey camps for young boys.

USA gymnastics.

I'm sure there are more. These come to mind.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP this will only get worse. He will prohibit your son from going on school trips, dating and so much more.

Doubt it. He'll probably just prohibit him from sleep overs with adult men. For example, he may not want him traveling with the coach and staying in his hotel room for an out of state soccer tournament. I don't see the correlation with school dances or dating, though.

I can think of no sport or activity where this is allowed!

https://nbcmontana.com/news/local/whitefish-youth-hockey-coach-in-custody-for-rape-charge

He was "Safe Sport Certified" and all that good stuff, and he ran residential sleepaway hockey camps for young boys.

USA gymnastics.

I'm sure there are more. These come to mind.

Sorry, I must have missed where the coach was explicitly allowed to share a room with a minor.

[Anonymous]

There are two different discussions here:

1. The risk of sexual abuse in sleepaway camp (here I think it’s overly paranoid to be afraid)
2. The belief that the kid is missing out for not going to sleepaway camp (he’s not, going to camp is not a milestone or a vital experience)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have to admit, these responses make me sad. DS was bound and determined to attend a pre-admissions camp at his dream school before his junior year, and it looks like that won't happen, either. I know I don't have to tell him no now, but it seems like I'm just kicking that down the road.

Thanks.

Ok so now you are getting ahead of yourself. Just because your husband is not comfortable with your son going to sleepaway at age 11 doesn’t mean the picture won’t change when he’s, what, 15? 16? I hope your husband accepts that your son will be going off to college, so at some point before that, going to a “pre-admissions camp” for his “dream school” seems perfectly rational. And if he cannot let your kid go THAT camp then you have a bigger problem on your hands.

(That said, please PLEASE start visiting the College forum to educate yourself about college. No 11-year-old should be locking in on his “dream school” - it creates unrealistic expectations and sets you all up for disappointment. Your kid needs to understand that there are many colleges where he can be happy and there will be a place for him somewhere. Perhaps there is something unique about the school and camp you have in mind, but generally “pre-admissions camps” are just money grabs and won’t matter one bit compared to grades, scores, and other meaningful extracurriculars when it comes time to apply, so don’t set your son or yourselves up for disappointment.

Again, he’s 11. Just slow your roll a bit.

We all have our hang-ups so I don’t say this with malice, but both of you sound a little neurotic so maybe work on keeping that in check.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have to admit, these responses make me sad. DS was bound and determined to attend a pre-admissions camp at his dream school before his junior year, and it looks like that won't happen, either. I know I don't have to tell him no now, but it seems like I'm just kicking that down the road.

Thanks.

They're insanely expensive compared to shadowing a student, taking a class or just doing the regular campus tour, and they do NOT help with admissions. Please disabuse your kid on this.

Neither of which are allowed at his dream school. I am aware it doesn't help with admissions, but he does need to get a better idea of what he would be in for.

What school is this? I am unaware of any that don't do this

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have to admit, these responses make me sad. DS was bound and determined to attend a pre-admissions camp at his dream school before his junior year, and it looks like that won't happen, either. I know I don't have to tell him no now, but it seems like I'm just kicking that down the road.

Thanks.

Um, he's 11. His junior year is like five years away. Decisions about camp today have nothing to do with what happens then.

[Anonymous]

Please name the dream school with the “pre-admission camp” that doesn’t allow any kind of visits.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have to admit, these responses make me sad. DS was bound and determined to attend a pre-admissions camp at his dream school before his junior year, and it looks like that won't happen, either. I know I don't have to tell him no now, but it seems like I'm just kicking that down the road.

Thanks.

They're insanely expensive compared to shadowing a student, taking a class or just doing the regular campus tour, and they do NOT help with admissions. Please disabuse your kid on this.

Neither of which are allowed at his dream school. I am aware it doesn't help with admissions, but he does need to get a better idea of what he would be in for.

He's 11, op. Chill.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have to admit, these responses make me sad. DS was bound and determined to attend a pre-admissions camp at his dream school before his junior year, and it looks like that won't happen, either. I know I don't have to tell him no now, but it seems like I'm just kicking that down the road.

Thanks.

They're insanely expensive compared to shadowing a student, taking a class or just doing the regular campus tour, and they do NOT help with admissions. Please disabuse your kid on this.

Neither of which are allowed at his dream school. I am aware it doesn't help with admissions, but he does need to get a better idea of what he would be in for.

OP, I know you're allowed to whine. But at some point you'll have to realize that most students attend college without the benefit of such on-campus events. No sleep-away camps until they go to college is not the end of the world. They won't be stunted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP this will only get worse. He will prohibit your son from going on school trips, dating and so much more.

Doubt it. He'll probably just prohibit him from sleep overs with adult men. For example, he may not want him traveling with the coach and staying in his hotel room for an out of state soccer tournament. I don't see the correlation with school dances or dating, though.

I can think of no sport or activity where this is allowed!

https://nbcmontana.com/news/local/whitefish-youth-hockey-coach-in-custody-for-rape-charge

He was "Safe Sport Certified" and all that good stuff, and he ran residential sleepaway hockey camps for young boys.

USA gymnastics.

I'm sure there are more. These come to mind.

Sorry, I must have missed where the coach was explicitly allowed to share a room with a minor.

Does it mater? He had access to a young boy alone in a hotel room over the course of 3 days during a hockey tournament. The child was definitely younger than 14 because this man didn't coach older teams - his target was 10U - 13U. The camps he ran had many young boys staying with him over several weeks in the summer. Hopefully it was an isolated incident. If you had sent your kid to this camp then learned this about the founder, main counselor and coach, I have a hard time believing you'd just get over it and continue sending your kid(s) to sleepaway camps. We're never doing them again. Happy to give our kids lots of great summer experiences and seek out day camps in interesting places, but until they are much older, like maybe late teens, no chance.