Screamer toddler and screens

[Anonymous]

You just need to find other quick solutions that aren’t screens. These were mine:

- Music (build a playlist of songs that help)
- Emergency toy bag (cheap pleasing items like bubbles, stickers, wind up toys)
- Mini trampoline time

Also, even if you use screens sometimes, don’t just resort to cartoons and games on the tablet! Use the actual TV and try options that are less addictive. Put a nature documentary on, or a cooking show. Make the screen time reward also about cuddling on the couch with a parent and having 1:1 time. That’s so much better than just shoving a tablet in his face, which just teaches him that if he’s upset, he should just numb out by himself with mindless screen time. Save that crap for the airplane!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Every time any of my kids scream they are put outside. Even the 15 month old. They sit on the porch or very safe fenced in yard. If you act like you’re playing outside, outside you go.

Rain, snow, wind. Outside. Stops the screaming.

I have no tolerance for screaming in our tiny house.

Smart

+1

Someone from the nursing home has joined the thread. At least put a leash on the kid so they can't go anywhere!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Every time any of my kids scream they are put outside. Even the 15 month old. They sit on the porch or very safe fenced in yard. If you act like you’re playing outside, outside you go.

Rain, snow, wind. Outside. Stops the screaming.

I have no tolerance for screaming in our tiny house.

Smart

No, sounds like it’s unacceptable to have big feelings…an 18 month old has no way of using words to say what they need/what’s wrong. Sending them outside to manage anything on their own tells them YOU can’t handle it and can’t be trusted to help them sort it out.

I disagree. The outdoors serves to calm and regulate people. Taking a toddler outside to help them calm down is a fantastic strategy.
US Doctors are Prescribing Nature in 35 States https://natureconnectionguide.com/us-doctors-are-prescribing-nature-in-34-states/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Every time any of my kids scream they are put outside. Even the 15 month old. They sit on the porch or very safe fenced in yard. If you act like you’re playing outside, outside you go.

Rain, snow, wind. Outside. Stops the screaming.

I have no tolerance for screaming in our tiny house.

Smart

No, sounds like it’s unacceptable to have big feelings…an 18 month old has no way of using words to say what they need/what’s wrong. Sending them outside to manage anything on their own tells them YOU can’t handle it and can’t be trusted to help them sort it out.

I disagree. The outdoors serves to calm and regulate people. Taking a toddler outside to help them calm down is a fantastic strategy.
US Doctors are Prescribing Nature in 35 States https://natureconnectionguide.com/us-doctors-are-prescribing-nature-in-34-states/

There is a massive difference between taking your kid on a hike as a bonding activity and literally sending your child outside in the cold because you can't handle their emotions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Every time any of my kids scream they are put outside. Even the 15 month old. They sit on the porch or very safe fenced in yard. If you act like you’re playing outside, outside you go.

Rain, snow, wind. Outside. Stops the screaming.

I have no tolerance for screaming in our tiny house.

Smart

No, sounds like it’s unacceptable to have big feelings…an 18 month old has no way of using words to say what they need/what’s wrong. Sending them outside to manage anything on their own tells them YOU can’t handle it and can’t be trusted to help them sort it out.

I disagree. The outdoors serves to calm and regulate people. Taking a toddler outside to help them calm down is a fantastic strategy.
US Doctors are Prescribing Nature in 35 States https://natureconnectionguide.com/us-doctors-are-prescribing-nature-in-34-states/

There is a massive difference between taking your kid on a hike as a bonding activity and literally sending your child outside in the cold because you can't handle their emotions.

Are you crazy??

No one can control other people's emotions, even kids. They need space to calm down by themselves just like adults

[Anonymous]

Let them feel angry but not act on it. The angry feelings will pass

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Every time any of my kids scream they are put outside. Even the 15 month old. They sit on the porch or very safe fenced in yard. If you act like you’re playing outside, outside you go.

Rain, snow, wind. Outside. Stops the screaming.

I have no tolerance for screaming in our tiny house.

Smart

No, sounds like it’s unacceptable to have big feelings…an 18 month old has no way of using words to say what they need/what’s wrong. Sending them outside to manage anything on their own tells them YOU can’t handle it and can’t be trusted to help them sort it out.

God, you bIg fEeliNgS people are so absurd. You can have feelings. Since you are not a wordless infant, SCREAMING (not normal crying) is an unacceptable way to communicate those feelings. If you persist, your life will be made very boring until you stop.

And before you bother, yes, I have multiple kids, from a freshman in college to upper elementary. Yes, we have good relationships. Yes, they would tell you the same. Have we covered all the predictable retort bases?

Stop raising coddled children. The world doesn’t need more coddled adults.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Every time any of my kids scream they are put outside. Even the 15 month old. They sit on the porch or very safe fenced in yard. If you act like you’re playing outside, outside you go.

Rain, snow, wind. Outside. Stops the screaming.

I have no tolerance for screaming in our tiny house.

Smart

No, sounds like it’s unacceptable to have big feelings…an 18 month old has no way of using words to say what they need/what’s wrong. Sending them outside to manage anything on their own tells them YOU can’t handle it and can’t be trusted to help them sort it out.

It's giving them space to calm down.

We can’t know how the PP does it. There’s nothing wrong with taking a toddler outside to calm down, and there’s nothing wrong with sitting quietly with them to give them time/space to do it. I also think going outside is just helpful for regulating emotions for humans. But sending a toddler outside alone as “punishment” is not for me.

I’m the one who posted that. You’re right, I can’t tolerate it. But if they’re outside I won’t yell at them. Also, a change of scenery does a lot of attitudes. None are ever unsafe. I won’t sit quietly will them. They have to know where the boundaries are.

Wow. I don't even know where to start with this. Your poor kids.

ROFL. How predictable of you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm nearing a breaking point. I had full intention of limiting screens to zero but we leave in a townhouse and my toddler has a habit of screaming when he doesn't get what he wants. The other important part of the conundrum is that my husband works from home and he has very low tolerance for screaming so I find myself just giving our kid a tablet. I don't know how to break the cycle

How old is your child and how much time do they get on a tablet/phone/computer? How much TV?

Depending on what these answers are, my hunch is you probably have a bit of a "bell that needs to be un-rung", as it were, which isn't easy.

Good news is, it can be done....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Every time any of my kids scream they are put outside. Even the 15 month old. They sit on the porch or very safe fenced in yard. If you act like you’re playing outside, outside you go.

Rain, snow, wind. Outside. Stops the screaming.

I have no tolerance for screaming in our tiny house.

Smart

No, sounds like it’s unacceptable to have big feelings…an 18 month old has no way of using words to say what they need/what’s wrong. Sending them outside to manage anything on their own tells them YOU can’t handle it and can’t be trusted to help them sort it out.

God, you bIg fEeliNgS people are so absurd. You can have feelings. Since you are not a wordless infant, SCREAMING (not normal crying) is an unacceptable way to communicate those feelings. If you persist, your life will be made very boring until you stop.

And before you bother, yes, I have multiple kids, from a freshman in college to upper elementary. Yes, we have good relationships. Yes, they would tell you the same. Have we covered all the predictable retort bases?

Stop raising coddled children. The world doesn’t need more coddled adults.

+1. I get really tired of that phrase on here. It's important to teach kids they can't do things like screaming when they are upset and that they need to calm down and use words to communicate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need a plan for screaming. It could be that you immediately go to his room with the door closed. It could be that you immediately go outside (not to play, just to wait until he’s done screaming). Whatever it is needs to be boring and unpleasant. You can still validate his emotions and help him communicate while you’re there. “You really want a tablet. It’s not tablet time, and you’re disappointed.”

This. Dr. Becky Kennedy has scripts for this in Good Inside (book/podcast).

+1 do not put the kid outside or in time out. It's very hard op but you will have to explain that you will no longer be giving him the tablet when he screams and then you HAVE to stick with it. You need to explain to your husband that this is normal and it will be worse for a little but then will get better if you both stay consistent. The screaming will only get worse if it is getting him what he wants.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Every time any of my kids scream they are put outside. Even the 15 month old. They sit on the porch or very safe fenced in yard. If you act like you’re playing outside, outside you go.

Rain, snow, wind. Outside. Stops the screaming.

I have no tolerance for screaming in our tiny house.

Smart

No, sounds like it’s unacceptable to have big feelings…an 18 month old has no way of using words to say what they need/what’s wrong. Sending them outside to manage anything on their own tells them YOU can’t handle it and can’t be trusted to help them sort it out.

God, you bIg fEeliNgS people are so absurd. You can have feelings. Since you are not a wordless infant, SCREAMING (not normal crying) is an unacceptable way to communicate those feelings. If you persist, your life will be made very boring until you stop.

And before you bother, yes, I have multiple kids, from a freshman in college to upper elementary. Yes, we have good relationships. Yes, they would tell you the same. Have we covered all the predictable retort bases?

Stop raising coddled children. The world doesn’t need more coddled adults.

new pp - I disagree. I hear you that some parents take "gentle" parenting to a place it is not intended (forgetting the boundaries piece), but that isn't how it should be and it isn't what people are telling the op to do. it's not coddling to not give a kid what they want when they scream but also choose not to put them outside alone. That is a huge jump to say you will raise coddled children unless you're willing to put them outside alone when they do something you don't like/want to stop - if the child isn't given what they want it's not coddling. Its a different approach to stay with the child while they are upset but it still holds the same boundary that you are holding.

Your tone is dismissive, rude, and talking to other people like they are an idiot - all things I don't want to teach my kid to do when they disagree with someone so it really is tainting the advice you are giving.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Every time any of my kids scream they are put outside. Even the 15 month old. They sit on the porch or very safe fenced in yard. If you act like you’re playing outside, outside you go.

Rain, snow, wind. Outside. Stops the screaming.

I have no tolerance for screaming in our tiny house.

Smart

No, sounds like it’s unacceptable to have big feelings…an 18 month old has no way of using words to say what they need/what’s wrong. Sending them outside to manage anything on their own tells them YOU can’t handle it and can’t be trusted to help them sort it out.

God, you bIg fEeliNgS people are so absurd. You can have feelings. Since you are not a wordless infant, SCREAMING (not normal crying) is an unacceptable way to communicate those feelings. If you persist, your life will be made very boring until you stop.

And before you bother, yes, I have multiple kids, from a freshman in college to upper elementary. Yes, we have good relationships. Yes, they would tell you the same. Have we covered all the predictable retort bases?

Stop raising coddled children. The world doesn’t need more coddled adults.

new pp - I disagree. I hear you that some parents take "gentle" parenting to a place it is not intended (forgetting the boundaries piece), but that isn't how it should be and it isn't what people are telling the op to do. it's not coddling to not give a kid what they want when they scream but also choose not to put them outside alone. That is a huge jump to say you will raise coddled children unless you're willing to put them outside alone when they do something you don't like/want to stop - if the child isn't given what they want it's not coddling. Its a different approach to stay with the child while they are upset but it still holds the same boundary that you are holding.

Your tone is dismissive, rude, and talking to other people like they are an idiot - all things I don't want to teach my kid to do when they disagree with someone so it really is tainting the advice you are giving.

NP. I didn’t find her tone dismissive or rude (talking to other people like an idiot is covered under dismissive and rude, bless your heart). But I’m sure your kids suck based on your post and I’d rather be around hers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Every time any of my kids scream they are put outside. Even the 15 month old. They sit on the porch or very safe fenced in yard. If you act like you’re playing outside, outside you go.

Rain, snow, wind. Outside. Stops the screaming.

I have no tolerance for screaming in our tiny house.

Smart

No, sounds like it’s unacceptable to have big feelings…an 18 month old has no way of using words to say what they need/what’s wrong. Sending them outside to manage anything on their own tells them YOU can’t handle it and can’t be trusted to help them sort it out.

God, you bIg fEeliNgS people are so absurd. You can have feelings. Since you are not a wordless infant, SCREAMING (not normal crying) is an unacceptable way to communicate those feelings. If you persist, your life will be made very boring until you stop.

And before you bother, yes, I have multiple kids, from a freshman in college to upper elementary. Yes, we have good relationships. Yes, they would tell you the same. Have we covered all the predictable retort bases?

Stop raising coddled children. The world doesn’t need more coddled adults.

new pp - I disagree. I hear you that some parents take "gentle" parenting to a place it is not intended (forgetting the boundaries piece), but that isn't how it should be and it isn't what people are telling the op to do. it's not coddling to not give a kid what they want when they scream but also choose not to put them outside alone. That is a huge jump to say you will raise coddled children unless you're willing to put them outside alone when they do something you don't like/want to stop - if the child isn't given what they want it's not coddling. Its a different approach to stay with the child while they are upset but it still holds the same boundary that you are holding.

Your tone is dismissive, rude, and talking to other people like they are an idiot - all things I don't want to teach my kid to do when they disagree with someone so it really is tainting the advice you are giving.

NP. I didn’t find her tone dismissive or rude (talking to other people like an idiot is covered under dismissive and rude, bless your heart). But I’m sure your kids suck based on your post and I’d rather be around hers.

NP wow aren't you a peach. Seek therapy before you raise kids as damaged as you are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Every time any of my kids scream they are put outside. Even the 15 month old. They sit on the porch or very safe fenced in yard. If you act like you’re playing outside, outside you go.

Rain, snow, wind. Outside. Stops the screaming.

I have no tolerance for screaming in our tiny house.

Smart

No, sounds like it’s unacceptable to have big feelings…an 18 month old has no way of using words to say what they need/what’s wrong. Sending them outside to manage anything on their own tells them YOU can’t handle it and can’t be trusted to help them sort it out.

God, you bIg fEeliNgS people are so absurd. You can have feelings. Since you are not a wordless infant, SCREAMING (not normal crying) is an unacceptable way to communicate those feelings. If you persist, your life will be made very boring until you stop.

And before you bother, yes, I have multiple kids, from a freshman in college to upper elementary. Yes, we have good relationships. Yes, they would tell you the same. Have we covered all the predictable retort bases?

Stop raising coddled children. The world doesn’t need more coddled adults.

+1. I get really tired of that phrase on here. It's important to teach kids they can't do things like screaming when they are upset and that they need to calm down and use words to communicate.

Some of us are able to teach our kids boundaries and emotional regulation without throwing them outside like dogs. That you equate empathy with weakness says a lot about you.