Screamer toddler and screens

[Anonymous]

I'm nearing a breaking point. I had full intention of limiting screens to zero but we leave in a townhouse and my toddler has a habit of screaming when he doesn't get what he wants. The other important part of the conundrum is that my husband works from home and he has very low tolerance for screaming so I find myself just giving our kid a tablet. I don't know how to break the cycle

[Anonymous]

Woof you’ve already lost. All toddlers scream when they don’t get what they want. They’re called toddlers. Best advice I got when I had my first kid was to play the long game. You’re playing the (very) short game.

[Anonymous]

No advice, but you could be me OP

[Anonymous]

You really can’t let screaming impact anything. That was a big mistake, and now you’ll have to work back from there.

Toddlers don’t get to make very many decisions and definitely not about screen time.

[Anonymous]

Every time any of my kids scream they are put outside. Even the 15 month old. They sit on the porch or very safe fenced in yard. If you act like you’re playing outside, outside you go.

Rain, snow, wind. Outside. Stops the screaming.

I have no tolerance for screaming in our tiny house.

[Anonymous]

You need a plan for screaming. It could be that you immediately go to his room with the door closed. It could be that you immediately go outside (not to play, just to wait until he’s done screaming). Whatever it is needs to be boring and unpleasant. You can still validate his emotions and help him communicate while you’re there. “You really want a tablet. It’s not tablet time, and you’re disappointed.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Every time any of my kids scream they are put outside. Even the 15 month old. They sit on the porch or very safe fenced in yard. If you act like you’re playing outside, outside you go.

Rain, snow, wind. Outside. Stops the screaming.

I have no tolerance for screaming in our tiny house.

Smart

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You need a plan for screaming. It could be that you immediately go to his room with the door closed. It could be that you immediately go outside (not to play, just to wait until he’s done screaming). Whatever it is needs to be boring and unpleasant. You can still validate his emotions and help him communicate while you’re there. “You really want a tablet. It’s not tablet time, and you’re disappointed.”

This. Dr. Becky Kennedy has scripts for this in Good Inside (book/podcast).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Every time any of my kids scream they are put outside. Even the 15 month old. They sit on the porch or very safe fenced in yard. If you act like you’re playing outside, outside you go.

Rain, snow, wind. Outside. Stops the screaming.

I have no tolerance for screaming in our tiny house.

Smart

No, sounds like it’s unacceptable to have big feelings…an 18 month old has no way of using words to say what they need/what’s wrong. Sending them outside to manage anything on their own tells them YOU can’t handle it and can’t be trusted to help them sort it out.

[Anonymous]

Personally I think a couple of 30 min shows a day doesn’t do any harm to a toddler. Giving in to screaming is a whole nother issue though. Have a set time of day when he can watch a short show, but don’t give it to him on demand.

[Anonymous]

Obviously, he has learned (you taught him) that screaming gets him what he wants. Now its time to teach him something else.
Screaming gets you to your room, or sent outside, or no toys until you are quiet. It is not easy but it is up to you.
I would also spend lots of time outside playing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Every time any of my kids scream they are put outside. Even the 15 month old. They sit on the porch or very safe fenced in yard. If you act like you’re playing outside, outside you go.

Rain, snow, wind. Outside. Stops the screaming.

I have no tolerance for screaming in our tiny house.

Smart

No, sounds like it’s unacceptable to have big feelings…an 18 month old has no way of using words to say what they need/what’s wrong. Sending them outside to manage anything on their own tells them YOU can’t handle it and can’t be trusted to help them sort it out.

It's giving them space to calm down.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Every time any of my kids scream they are put outside. Even the 15 month old. They sit on the porch or very safe fenced in yard. If you act like you’re playing outside, outside you go.

Rain, snow, wind. Outside. Stops the screaming.

I have no tolerance for screaming in our tiny house.

Smart

No, sounds like it’s unacceptable to have big feelings…an 18 month old has no way of using words to say what they need/what’s wrong. Sending them outside to manage anything on their own tells them YOU can’t handle it and can’t be trusted to help them sort it out.

It's giving them space to calm down.

We can’t know how the PP does it. There’s nothing wrong with taking a toddler outside to calm down, and there’s nothing wrong with sitting quietly with them to give them time/space to do it. I also think going outside is just helpful for regulating emotions for humans. But sending a toddler outside alone as “punishment” is not for me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Every time any of my kids scream they are put outside. Even the 15 month old. They sit on the porch or very safe fenced in yard. If you act like you’re playing outside, outside you go.

Rain, snow, wind. Outside. Stops the screaming.

I have no tolerance for screaming in our tiny house.

Smart

+1

[Anonymous]

Soon it will be easier to go outside a lot more. However, I think it’s unreasonable to work from home with a toddler in a small house and also have a low tolerance for noise. Toddlers make noise! How is that supposed to work?