At My Wit's End with Cooking

[Anonymous]

Boxes of precooked frozen rice at Traders and other sides kids can tolerate might be helpful. Just pop in microwave

[Anonymous]

I can't tell you how much I relate. I used to love to cook too and all this plus a good dose of ingratitude from DH and kids just made me loathe it. I do not eat well and spend a ton on food.

[Anonymous]

I am right there with you sister.
I used to love cooking and even considered going to culinary school. My oldest has significant sensory issues and a limited diet. The other two have what are normal amounts of kid pickiness with certain things they don’t like but the overlap between the three of them is basically non existent. I am for cooking something that 2/3 of them will eat and the third can fend for themselves. I often fill out with something from the freezer — eg my child that doesn’t eat meat, I will throw in some of the Brazilian cheese puffs or frozen mozarella sticks to fill out for her.
We do things like tacos or sandwiches a lot where people can build it the way they want. Then I try to double up on vegetables so I can minimize the carbs I adore. If I were just cooking for me, I’d make things like lentil soup or a tofu stir fry. I often do that for my lunches or maybe once a month pr so I just make what I want .
I’m gaining a lot of weight with menopause and it’s so hard when my cooking for the kids is so carb and cheese heavy.

[Anonymous]

Op, I can’t fix everything but wanted to say your health and nutrition (and satisfaction!) is most important right now and the problem to solve. Start cooking healthy recipes that work for you and are balanced with all food groups. The kids will survive and the husband can fend for himself.

I also struggle with binge eating and the #1 contributing factor is if I had enjoyable meals that day or not. If my meals weren’t satisfying, I eat all. Night. I have way fewer calories per day if I just allow myself a nice, complete 3 meals a day. At your size you can eat around 2000 cals and still gradually lose weight so that means you can restrict less and have filling meals. With a cookie! The urge to snack and binge will subside when you do this.

I know this is easier said than done but the main point is you need to prioritize yourself and your preferences as much or more than the other family members.

I like Pinch of Yum for recipe ideas that are wholesome and healthy but not “diet” style recipes.

[Anonymous]

For our family of 5, everyone gets a highlight/favorite meal each week. It sort of helps them tolerate less favorite foods. I do generally try to keep the meat, veg, starch separate, with toppings/sauces on the side. Carrot sticks, apple slices, and yogurt if you’re hungry after dinner.

[Anonymous]

Just sitting with you. Take a break! And take care of yourself! It is like putting on your oxygen mask before helping others!

[Anonymous]

Thank you for posting this. We have so many of the same issues at play sort of mixed and matched across family members, plus a child who is under weight and we are supposed to let eat ice cream and fattening foods. I’m really impressed you are able to cut carbs so much; I get bad headaches if I go too low calorie.

I also started doing what I guess is probably binge eating during the pandemic for the first time. I had a lot of stressors and basically no coping mechanisms available to me and I don’t struggle as badly these days but there have been some real over eating episodes and it kind of scares me. I made a half hearted effort to find a therapist not long ago but no one I contacted was taking new patients and I got discouraged. Thanks for the reminder to try again.

I often just make food my kids will eat and even if it’s not terribly caloric it is so unsatisfying to eat so repetitively. Ugh I hate it . I am so burnt out on cooking too but my husband won’t. So much sympathy OP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op, I can’t fix everything but wanted to say your health and nutrition (and satisfaction!) is most important right now and the problem to solve. Start cooking healthy recipes that work for you and are balanced with all food groups. The kids will survive and the husband can fend for himself.

I also struggle with binge eating and the #1 contributing factor is if I had enjoyable meals that day or not. If my meals weren’t satisfying, I eat all. Night. I have way fewer calories per day if I just allow myself a nice, complete 3 meals a day. At your size you can eat around 2000 cals and still gradually lose weight so that means you can restrict less and have filling meals. With a cookie! The urge to snack and binge will subside when you do this.

I know this is easier said than done but the main point is you need to prioritize yourself and your preferences as much or more than the other family members.

I like Pinch of Yum for recipe ideas that are wholesome and healthy but not “diet” style recipes.

I am a different PP who recently released I struggle with what is probably binge eating. Do you recommend and books or resources to help? I agree having enjoyable filling meals helps a lot…

[Anonymous]

For me, there's a difference between cooking and planning.

I don't mind cooking, but planning can be a chore. Actively thinking through various options that meet everyone's needs is TOUGH.

Can you assign other family members to meal planning and shopping? Give them a set of specifications (must include meat, must have sauce/spice on the side, must have a veggie option, must have a carb option, must take <45 min to prepare) -- then have them figure a meal that fits.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe one night a week could be your night off when everyone fends for themselves. Sandwich, cereal, something frozen, leftovers whatever they can come up with.

This, and then some. Dinner doesn’t need to be such a big deal every night. Some ideas:
Taco bar Tuesday
On Wednesday, I make soup in the crockpot and put out bread and cold cuts and bag salad
On Fridays, I put out pizza crusts— I get the long ones from the grocery store and some toppings. Everyone tops their own. I’m also dealing with weight and reflux issues so I go light on the cheese and sauce and heavy on the veggies. I put them all in the oven together and we have pizza movie night.
On Saturday I get 2 rotisserie chickens, rolls and a veggie to roast on a sheet pan.
We do a lot of “picnics” on the deck or at the park with sandwiches or bread, cheese, meat and fruit
DH grills at least once a week when it is even a bit warm
Scrambled eggs, toast and fruit for dinner once a week

Just do one big, proper dinner a week. Dinner time can be a nice time to all sit down together and eat without it being a meal like a 1950s housewife would make.

[Anonymous]

Similar teens and picky husband, but finally I have lost 20 lbs in the last year, and here is what works:
--I make soup and freeze portions for myself for nights I can't make dinner work with my calories left. I am one fewer person to worry about. Usually keto soups.
--I always keep frozen meals my kids like and grilled hamburgers, hotdogs in the freezer as well as leftover chicken and steak for quesadilllas.
--I make a reasonable dinner 4 nights of the week with leftovers, and if someone doesn't like it, they know what's in the freezer that THEY can prepare. Not me.
--Everybody has been happy, and I've lost weight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What has the fact that you’re obese have to do with anything?

OP put it there only to satisfy the mean spirited posters in DCUM.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, I can’t fix everything but wanted to say your health and nutrition (and satisfaction!) is most important right now and the problem to solve. Start cooking healthy recipes that work for you and are balanced with all food groups. The kids will survive and the husband can fend for himself.

I also struggle with binge eating and the #1 contributing factor is if I had enjoyable meals that day or not. If my meals weren’t satisfying, I eat all. Night. I have way fewer calories per day if I just allow myself a nice, complete 3 meals a day. At your size you can eat around 2000 cals and still gradually lose weight so that means you can restrict less and have filling meals. With a cookie! The urge to snack and binge will subside when you do this.

I know this is easier said than done but the main point is you need to prioritize yourself and your preferences as much or more than the other family members.

I like Pinch of Yum for recipe ideas that are wholesome and healthy but not “diet” style recipes.

I am a different PP who recently released I struggle with what is probably binge eating. Do you recommend and books or resources to help? I agree having enjoyable filling meals helps a lot…

There was a book messaged here (gosh - a decade ago?) that I can’t remember the title of. It could have been a pamphlet rather than a book, but the gist was that negative behaviors come from the “lizard” brain and it uses any manner of tricks to convince your “mammal” brain (I am mangling this) that you need to binge. Realize you’re in control and tell the lizard brain to shove it. I haven’t binged since then.

OP, it’s exhausting. The teenagers do need to start pulling their own weight in the kitchen for their own good, too. They’re launching soon; don’t think of them taking a night as a punishment, think of it as equipping them.

Budget Bytes, Smitten Kitchen (Every Day Meatballs, Sweet Potatoes Tacos), Cafe Delites (her Cowboy Caviar is a favorite of mine though only one of my three kids eats it), Once Upon a Chef and Dinner Then Dessert have all had good recipes for me.

Fish? Chicken Piccata? Chili? Quiche? Bowls with each component separate - those can be as healthy or as crazy as you want. I’m sorry I can’t remember all the limitations each person has, but K.I.S.S. at least for right now.

(Oh and as a fellow GERD sufferer, stirring in a smidge of baking soda into various tomato things drastically reduces my GERD later (cooked onion and garlic don’t personally bother me)).