50 year old singles

[Anonymous]

I know three incredible women, one 40, one 44, one 47.

The first experienced major trauma when her husband died in a drowning accident at age 30. They were newlyweds and trying for a baby. It took her nearly 10 years to settle into a new identity. She threw herself into work. She's now open to dating but her habits are such that she works 12 hour days and spends the rest of the time taking care of now aging parents and socializing only a little bit. She's open to being set up but so far no luck.

The second is in a very long distance relationship. They got married, tried for a kid, it didn't work and then he moved away and are in a separation of sorts. She's also a workaholic and amazing at her job. Her marriage seems to be crumbling but she just doesn't prioritize it or resolving the situation. She lives alone for all intents and purposes.

The third is stunning and smart, but always did too much too soon and drove the guys away. I tried to point this out to her gently 7-8 years ago but she insisted this was just how she was. She eventually started baking cookies for my now husband and bringing them to his work without me knowing, so our friendship faded.

So, three women, three different scenarios. I'm still rooting for all three, but they seem in a sort of inertia that's hard to break.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I detest men.

No one says you have to date men. Date women. Or date something non-binary.

[Anonymous]

50 year old men date 30 year old women, 50 year old women date 70 year old men

[Anonymous]

still practices religion? dealbreaker.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:50 year old men date 30 year old women, 50 year old women date 70 year old men

Not true at all. It is not 25 years ago.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know three incredible women, one 40, one 44, one 47.

The first experienced major trauma when her husband died in a drowning accident at age 30. They were newlyweds and trying for a baby. It took her nearly 10 years to settle into a new identity. She threw herself into work. She's now open to dating but her habits are such that she works 12 hour days and spends the rest of the time taking care of now aging parents and socializing only a little bit. She's open to being set up but so far no luck.

The second is in a very long distance relationship. They got married, tried for a kid, it didn't work and then he moved away and are in a separation of sorts. She's also a workaholic and amazing at her job. Her marriage seems to be crumbling but she just doesn't prioritize it or resolving the situation. She lives alone for all intents and purposes.

The third is stunning and smart, but always did too much too soon and drove the guys away. I tried to point this out to her gently 7-8 years ago but she insisted this was just how she was. She eventually started baking cookies for my now husband and bringing them to his work without me knowing, so our friendship faded.

So, three women, three different scenarios. I'm still rooting for all three, but they seem in a sort of inertia that's hard to break.

The third is the only person who never married.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know quite a few people that are single and never able to find someone. They are wealthy with good social skills and from low stress families with a mom and dad and they still practice their religion. All other siblings are married. I keep hearing about how they haven’t found someone yet but figure that’s probably not possible and they are really just gay and don’t want to tell their parents. Have you found this is usually the case? Why else would a religious person want to stay single into their 50s?

This assumption is extremely off.

I am a person in that category. I am not gay, and I resent the assumption that there is NO other reason someone can't be single.

Just stop.

So what is your reason?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PS- I really thought this was about a case of SHingles.

Me too!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So they don’t end up like the hundreds of sad DCUM marrieds who settle and then bemoan how their husbands do no housework, their wives are fat and lazy, their husbands don’t earn enough, their wives won’t go back to work, their wife doesn’t want sex, their husband doesn’t want sex, etc., etc.

In other words, they would rather be happy and go it alone than be saddled with some of the duds that clearly many people have settled for here on DCUM.

+1 Marriage is great if you find the right person. Being single is great if you don't find someone you want to settle down with. Marriage as a goal is so outdated.

[Anonymous]

I have a friend who is 38 and was briefly married, not religious so I guess not exactly like the case in the OP but I think she may well end up not married and no kids.
She is attractive, with a good job, not boring, has hobbies, is around men a lot. She doesn’t seem to like anyone. Very focused on social status (not even money but how socially skillful a person is and whether their job is presentable), and she is incredibly self centered. You can’t tell right away, it’s not outright but then you realize that she just doesn’t care about anyone else
Also she can’t get easily excited about men unless they are the right fit socially (and honestly it just means they are outgoing enough, imo it’s such a minor thing!) and the right men don’t get excited about her

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some people are just unattractive and don’t put themselves out there.

A lot of these people are attractive.

Are they women? There are a lot more dateable women out there than dateable men. Women are just more likely to be thoughtful and caring towards other, to take care of themselves physically, etc. It’s e easier for a man to find a reasonably attractive, nice, relationship oriented woman than vice versa.

I'm OP. A lot of them are attractive men. But also some attractive females. Maybe Momma's boys?

Some people just aren’t interested in marriage. My uncle was attractive, straight, a surgeon, but never had any interest in marriage and kids and that lifestyle. He traveled a ton and had a bunch of time consuming expensive hobbies and also volunteered a lot with Doctors Without Borders type organizations.

+1 Not everyone wants to be married. Most do want to a partner, but not necessarily marriage with kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know quite a few people that are single and never able to find someone. They are wealthy with good social skills and from low stress families with a mom and dad and they still practice their religion. All other siblings are married. I keep hearing about how they haven’t found someone yet but figure that’s probably not possible and they are really just gay and don’t want to tell their parents. Have you found this is usually the case? Why else would a religious person want to stay single into their 50s?

Your assumptions about 50YO single people are laughable. I’m assuming your judgements in life are similarly off base.

[Anonymous]

I have seen less unhappy single people and more unhappily married people.

I am a very happily married woman who was against marriage and went through life with firm belief that a marriage for me was not gong to happen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have seen less unhappy single people and more unhappily married people.

I am a very happily married woman who was against marriage and went through life with firm belief that a marriage for me was not gong to happen.

Jerry Seinfeld : I still can't believe, you're going out on a blind date.

Elaine Benes : I'm not worried. It sounds like he's really good looking.

Jerry Seinfeld : You're going by sound? What are we, whales?

Elaine Benes : I think I can tell.

Jerry Seinfeld : Elaine, what percentage of people would you say are good looking?

Elaine Benes : 25 percent.

Jerry Seinfeld : 25 percent, you say? No way! It's like 4 to 6 percent. It's a 20 to 1 shot.

Elaine Benes : You're way off.

Jerry Seinfeld : Way off? Have you been to the motor vehicle bureau? It's like a leper colony down there.

Elaine Benes : So what you are saying is that 90 to 95 percent of the population is undateable?

Jerry Seinfeld : UNDATEABLE!

Elaine Benes: Then how are all these people getting together?

Jerry Seinfeld: Alcohol.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have seen less unhappy single people and more unhappily married people.

I am a very happily married woman who was against marriage and went through life with firm belief that a marriage for me was not gong to happen.

Jerry Seinfeld : I still can't believe, you're going out on a blind date.

Elaine Benes : I'm not worried. It sounds like he's really good looking.

Jerry Seinfeld : You're going by sound? What are we, whales?

Elaine Benes : I think I can tell.

Jerry Seinfeld : Elaine, what percentage of people would you say are good looking?

Elaine Benes : 25 percent.

Jerry Seinfeld : 25 percent, you say? No way! It's like 4 to 6 percent. It's a 20 to 1 shot.

Elaine Benes : You're way off.

Jerry Seinfeld : Way off? Have you been to the motor vehicle bureau? It's like a leper colony down there.

Elaine Benes : So what you are saying is that 90 to 95 percent of the population is undateable?

Jerry Seinfeld : UNDATEABLE!

Elaine Benes: Then how are all these people getting together?

Jerry Seinfeld: Alcohol.

Absolutely brilliant writing. Thanks for sharing!