50 year old singles

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know three incredible women, one 40, one 44, one 47.

The first experienced major trauma when her husband died in a drowning accident at age 30. They were newlyweds and trying for a baby. It took her nearly 10 years to settle into a new identity. She threw herself into work. She's now open to dating but her habits are such that she works 12 hour days and spends the rest of the time taking care of now aging parents and socializing only a little bit. She's open to being set up but so far no luck.

The second is in a very long distance relationship. They got married, tried for a kid, it didn't work and then he moved away and are in a separation of sorts. She's also a workaholic and amazing at her job. Her marriage seems to be crumbling but she just doesn't prioritize it or resolving the situation. She lives alone for all intents and purposes.

The third is stunning and smart, but always did too much too soon and drove the guys away. I tried to point this out to her gently 7-8 years ago but she insisted this was just how she was. She eventually started baking cookies for my now husband and bringing them to his work without me knowing, so our friendship faded.

So, three women, three different scenarios. I'm still rooting for all three, but they seem in a sort of inertia that's hard to break.

The third is the only person who never married.

Yes, and none are 50. My point was that there isn’t one reason someone may be 50 and single.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know three incredible women, one 40, one 44, one 47.

The first experienced major trauma when her husband died in a drowning accident at age 30. They were newlyweds and trying for a baby. It took her nearly 10 years to settle into a new identity. She threw herself into work. She's now open to dating but her habits are such that she works 12 hour days and spends the rest of the time taking care of now aging parents and socializing only a little bit. She's open to being set up but so far no luck.

The second is in a very long distance relationship. They got married, tried for a kid, it didn't work and then he moved away and are in a separation of sorts. She's also a workaholic and amazing at her job. Her marriage seems to be crumbling but she just doesn't prioritize it or resolving the situation. She lives alone for all intents and purposes.

The third is stunning and smart, but always did too much too soon and drove the guys away. I tried to point this out to her gently 7-8 years ago but she insisted this was just how she was. She eventually started baking cookies for my now husband and bringing them to his work without me knowing, so our friendship faded.

So, three women, three different scenarios. I'm still rooting for all three, but they seem in a sort of inertia that's hard to break.

The third is the only person who never married.

Yes, and none are 50. My point was that there isn’t one reason someone may be 50 and single.

This wasn't a discussion about people who are single at age 50. It was a discussion about people who have been single for 50 years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some people are just unattractive and don’t put themselves out there.

A lot of these people are attractive.

Are they women? There are a lot more dateable women out there than dateable men. Women are just more likely to be thoughtful and caring towards other, to take care of themselves physically, etc. It’s e easier for a man to find a reasonably attractive, nice, relationship oriented woman than vice versa.

I'm OP. A lot of them are attractive men. But also some attractive females. Maybe Momma's boys?

My brother. 55. Never married. Many, MANY women throughout his life. Very attractive, charismatic, athlete--most popular guy in school. Not a momma's boy and not gay. He never wanted to be married and it's a good thing. He would have left a wake of destruction in his path. He took a very long time to mature. He's a good guy now. He lives in NYC where it's quite normal for many (men and women) to never marry. He has a very active social life. He left a very intense corporate job to teach around age 36.

I have had many friends ask me to set them up with him and never would I do it. I don't think he is a great partner. Fun? Sure. But not someone to have as a serious partner.

My brother is the same story.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know three incredible women, one 40, one 44, one 47.

The first experienced major trauma when her husband died in a drowning accident at age 30. They were newlyweds and trying for a baby. It took her nearly 10 years to settle into a new identity. She threw herself into work. She's now open to dating but her habits are such that she works 12 hour days and spends the rest of the time taking care of now aging parents and socializing only a little bit. She's open to being set up but so far no luck.

The second is in a very long distance relationship. They got married, tried for a kid, it didn't work and then he moved away and are in a separation of sorts. She's also a workaholic and amazing at her job. Her marriage seems to be crumbling but she just doesn't prioritize it or resolving the situation. She lives alone for all intents and purposes.

The third is stunning and smart, but always did too much too soon and drove the guys away. I tried to point this out to her gently 7-8 years ago but she insisted this was just how she was. She eventually started baking cookies for my now husband and bringing them to his work without me knowing, so our friendship faded.

So, three women, three different scenarios. I'm still rooting for all three, but they seem in a sort of inertia that's hard to break.

The third is the only person who never married.

Yes, and none are 50. My point was that there isn’t one reason someone may be 50 and single.

This wasn't a discussion about people who are single at age 50. It was a discussion about people who have been single for 50 years.[/quote
Are you the OP? If so, you should have mentioned this in the post.

[Anonymous]

I am on OLD for a long time. I think women overestimate their attractiveness. Never saw a single truly attractive woman in her 50s among the "never married" category. They are very plain, boring or not in a good shape. The most attractive women of that age group are divorced/married at least once or even twice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:50 year old men date 30 year old women, 50 year old women date 70 year old men

I’m a 50 year old woman and this is proving sadly true for me. That’s who’s showing up interested and they want a companion and discounted future caregiver with no plans for who cares for me after they’re gone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:50 year old men date 30 year old women, 50 year old women date 70 year old men

So there is justice in this world?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a friend who is 38 and was briefly married, not religious so I guess not exactly like the case in the OP but I think she may well end up not married and no kids.
She is attractive, with a good job, not boring, has hobbies, is around men a lot. She doesn’t seem to like anyone. Very focused on social status (not even money but how socially skillful a person is and whether their job is presentable), and she is incredibly self centered. You can’t tell right away, it’s not outright but then you realize that she just doesn’t care about anyone else
Also she can’t get easily excited about men unless they are the right fit socially (and honestly it just means they are outgoing enough, imo it’s such a minor thing!) and the right men don’t get excited about her

That's because she dates resumes, not men.

[Anonymous]

I’m 47 and have never been married or had a LTR.
Parents have been married for 50+ years, siblings married for 20+, not religious, not gay, never been fat, pretty normal. Been asked out by two men since Saturday. I’ve been a loner since I was a kid and honestly have never been very happy in a relationship. If I ever meet someone with whom I’m happier than being alone, that would be great. But it doesn’t concern me much if I don’t.

[Anonymous]

I don't see the point in marrying if you are financially self sufficient and don't want children, especially women. I wouldn't have if I didn't want kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:50 year old men date 30 year old women, 50 year old women date 70 year old men

I am a 59 yo F dating a 48 yo M

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't see the point in marrying if you are financially self sufficient and don't want children, especially women. I wouldn't have if I didn't want kids.

I am a widow and enjoyed being married, but I don't see a need to do it again.

[Anonymous]

Why do people try to identify a fault in someone who reaches middle age and never been married? Why not just assume that they didn't find the partner they were looking for? Is it because you're looking to reassure yourself that you don't have a 'fault' that makes someone 'unmarriable'? Given the divorce rate, many people fail to find the right partner - unless you look at marriage as something less than a lifelong committment (I'm not judging, just saying).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why do people try to identify a fault in someone who reaches middle age and never been married? Why not just assume that they didn't find the partner they were looking for? Is it because you're looking to reassure yourself that you don't have a 'fault' that makes someone 'unmarriable'? Given the divorce rate, many people fail to find the right partner - unless you look at marriage as something less than a lifelong committment (I'm not judging, just saying).

Yes. If someone is unhappily married, they'll look at someone who never married and say "there must be something wrong with them", ie. "I might be unhappy but I'm married so at least there's nothing wrong with me!"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know quite a few people that are single and never able to find someone. They are wealthy with good social skills and from low stress families with a mom and dad and they still practice their religion. All other siblings are married. I keep hearing about how they haven’t found someone yet but figure that’s probably not possible and they are really just gay and don’t want to tell their parents. Have you found this is usually the case? Why else would a religious person want to stay single into their 50s?

I’m confused, do they want to stay single or not? It sounds like you are presuming a lot of things.

It is also possible that some of these types are asexual.