Being Identified on DCUM

[Anonymous]

I have definitely typed out whole responses that when I’m about to hit submit, instead I just delete. Why? The details. If I can’t keep it vague, it’s not for posting here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You’d be surprised how universal some stories are. I

This, I’ve seen my own experiences practically verbatim posted by others.

Same. We are not all as unique as we think we are.

Although, I once posted something about a situation that had been going on for months with no resolution and, within a week, the person who was causing the problem suddenly made a dramatic move to at least partially address the situation. Also, a poster responding on the thread kept using some particular phrases that the problem person in the situation was using.

Probably just a coincidence, but it was kind of funny.

[Anonymous]

I have a friend that has identified my writing here a bunch of times; in fact I only post as much as I do (1x per week avg) in hopes that she’ll break cover.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Agree with PP.
OP, you are on here - so what's the big deal?
Aren't most of the posts asking for help, advice about parenting, etc?

OP again. I'm referring to when they are talking poorly about someone and sharing specific details. It's like they have an experience and run to DCUM thinking they will be anonymous or "there is no way the friend is also on DCUM and will see my post."

A couple times I have posted not-very-specific things on here knowing that the person I'm talking about is on DCUM and would likely see it. But I'm careful. Plausible deniability always. You want to frame it so that if they were to bring it up, they would look insane.

NP. I love this. Please, please, please post a link or two?!

No way! Merely posting a link would be too revealing. I do enjoy baiting a certain person on here though. It surprisingly easy -- she almost always bites.

Was she awful to you? Because you just sound mean.

She was awful to me but the beauty of it is that if she developed some empathy and the ability to not have to be right about every single thing, she wouldn't take the bait on these. I'll admit I am being a little bit mean because I'm definitely posting things I know will push her buttons, but the only reason she has those buttons to push is that she has a history of being quite selfish and unkind and she HATES being called out on it.

I'm having a little bit of fun at her expense, yes, but she could stop being the butt of this joke anytime she wants by just developing a little self-awareness and having a bit more empathy for other people. Who knows, maybe I'm helping her

Well, I only hope that someone is helping you, because you sound batsh*t crazy, especially the part where you think you are baiting a specific person who is responding to all your posts! Does she sometimes post “this” as a response? Because if so, I can totally see how you are identifying her.

+1

[Anonymous]

I put details in my posts, but I scramble them. Neighbor at NIH becomes neighbor at CDC, conversation at gymnastics practice becomes conversation at squash practice, etc. I assume at least some people are doing the same.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I put details in my posts, but I scramble them. Neighbor at NIH becomes neighbor at CDC, conversation at gymnastics practice becomes conversation at squash practice, etc. I assume at least some people are doing the same.

I change all details completely to include gender. It is interesting how you get different responses posed as a male versus female.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Agree with PP.
OP, you are on here - so what's the big deal?
Aren't most of the posts asking for help, advice about parenting, etc?

OP again. I'm referring to when they are talking poorly about someone and sharing specific details. It's like they have an experience and run to DCUM thinking they will be anonymous or "there is no way the friend is also on DCUM and will see my post."

A couple times I have posted not-very-specific things on here knowing that the person I'm talking about is on DCUM and would likely see it. But I'm careful. Plausible deniability always. You want to frame it so that if they were to bring it up, they would look insane.

NP. I love this. Please, please, please post a link or two?!

No way! Merely posting a link would be too revealing. I do enjoy baiting a certain person on here though. It surprisingly easy -- she almost always bites.

You are likely baiting completely different people each time assuming they are one.

+1

PP sounds insane.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Agree with PP.
OP, you are on here - so what's the big deal?
Aren't most of the posts asking for help, advice about parenting, etc?

OP again. I'm referring to when they are talking poorly about someone and sharing specific details. It's like they have an experience and run to DCUM thinking they will be anonymous or "there is no way the friend is also on DCUM and will see my post."

A couple times I have posted not-very-specific things on here knowing that the person I'm talking about is on DCUM and would likely see it. But I'm careful. Plausible deniability always. You want to frame it so that if they were to bring it up, they would look insane.

NP. I love this. Please, please, please post a link or two?!

No way! Merely posting a link would be too revealing. I do enjoy baiting a certain person on here though. It surprisingly easy -- she almost always bites.

Was she awful to you? Because you just sound mean.

She was awful to me but the beauty of it is that if she developed some empathy and the ability to not have to be right about every single thing, she wouldn't take the bait on these. I'll admit I am being a little bit mean because I'm definitely posting things I know will push her buttons, but the only reason she has those buttons to push is that she has a history of being quite selfish and unkind and she HATES being called out on it.

I'm having a little bit of fun at her expense, yes, but she could stop being the butt of this joke anytime she wants by just developing a little self-awareness and having a bit more empathy for other people. Who knows, maybe I'm helping her

Well, I only hope that someone is helping you, because you sound batsh*t crazy, especially the part where you think you are baiting a specific person who is responding to all your posts! Does she sometimes post “this” as a response? Because if so, I can totally see how you are identifying her.

+1

+2

Wow.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You’d be surprised how universal some stories are. I

I agree. I often read a post and have to stop and think, did I post that original story?? Also, it amazes me how often I will encounter a situation and within days someone posts a similar situation on dcum - it is almost as creepy as google’s knowledge of my inner thoughts .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Agree with PP.
OP, you are on here - so what's the big deal?
Aren't most of the posts asking for help, advice about parenting, etc?

OP again. I'm referring to when they are talking poorly about someone and sharing specific details. It's like they have an experience and run to DCUM thinking they will be anonymous or "there is no way the friend is also on DCUM and will see my post."

A couple times I have posted not-very-specific things on here knowing that the person I'm talking about is on DCUM and would likely see it. But I'm careful. Plausible deniability always. You want to frame it so that if they were to bring it up, they would look insane.

NP. I love this. Please, please, please post a link or two?!

No way! Merely posting a link would be too revealing. I do enjoy baiting a certain person on here though. It surprisingly easy -- she almost always bites.

Was she awful to you? Because you just sound mean.

She was awful to me but the beauty of it is that if she developed some empathy and the ability to not have to be right about every single thing, she wouldn't take the bait on these. I'll admit I am being a little bit mean because I'm definitely posting things I know will push her buttons, but the only reason she has those buttons to push is that she has a history of being quite selfish and unkind and she HATES being called out on it.

I'm having a little bit of fun at her expense, yes, but she could stop being the butt of this joke anytime she wants by just developing a little self-awareness and having a bit more empathy for other people. Who knows, maybe I'm helping her

Well, I only hope that someone is helping you, because you sound batsh*t crazy, especially the part where you think you are baiting a specific person who is responding to all your posts! Does she sometimes post “this” as a response? Because if so, I can totally see how you are identifying her.

+1

+2

Wow.

Not to mention, it sounds an awful lot like stalking to me.

[Anonymous]

Some posters on the college forum have described their child’s academic trajectory to the point where I’ve found them in a 2 minute LinkedIn search.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some posters on the college forum have described their child’s academic trajectory to the point where I’ve found them in a 2 minute LinkedIn search.

That’s awful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some posters on the college forum have described their child’s academic trajectory to the point where I’ve found them in a 2 minute LinkedIn search.

Example?

[Anonymous]

I've been on here for years but only recently saw a post which had enough detail that I knew exactly who had posted it. the post was a late-night vent, and I wondered if they realized just how much identifying info they'd provided.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some posters on the college forum have described their child’s academic trajectory to the point where I’ve found them in a 2 minute LinkedIn search.

Example?

The Princeton/Holton rowing mom poster who has a 30+ year old daughter. The W&M/TJ/Oberlin/Chantilly poster. The UVa/Oxford D.Phil fellowship poster. And so on.

Yes, it is indeed awful that people post such identifiable details on here, because the posts are usually coupled with personal financial information.