Being Identified on DCUM

[Anonymous]

Some of you post VERY specific stories. I'll have a conversation at the playground with a friend about the principal and then the next day, almost verbatim, is a post on DCUM about it. Or someone will copy/paste an email from their boss or friend. Saying DS when it's really your DD or my 5 year old instead of your 4 year old MAY help you get away with it. You may also get away with it if you don't live in the DMV, but I'm sure a lot of lies about the location are told.

Anyways, why do people post such a specific description? Met your friend through pre-school and now still friends in 1st grade? My neighbor who has 2 kids and works at NIH doesn't take in their trash cans?

[Anonymous]

That’s so sad! If the number of people who have managed to maintain a friendship for 4 years or so is so small that it makes someone who does this identifiable, that’s really unfortunate.

[Anonymous]

You’d be surprised how universal some stories are. I

[Anonymous]

Because I don’t care that a couple of friends know it’s me, OP. I am not ashamed of posting on DCUM, unlike you.

You’re rather strange.

[Anonymous]

I had a conversation with someone and then they went ant posted here with details that were not accurate. I am a teacher and I made my collages aware that she had no problem lying about me and misrepresenting what we spoke about.

[Anonymous]

Agree with PP.
OP, you are on here - so what's the big deal?
Aren't most of the posts asking for help, advice about parenting, etc?

[Anonymous]

I have had friends ask me directly if I posted things on this website I didn't post. They were sure it was me, and indeed when I look at the posts, I can see why. But many stories are quite similar. I'm a white woman in my 40s with a white collar job living in the DMV with two young children going to area schools. One reason I am on here a lot is specifically because so often people are posting about things relevant to my life and interests. It doesn't surprised me that there area others very similar to me on here -- it's a feature, not a bug.

Though I do agree that it's strange when people post detailed accounts of issues going on in their neighborhood or with their school. That seems so obviously verifiable? I sometimes wonder if the people who do this are not frequent users of the website and therefore may not realize how easy it would be to spot their posts on here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Agree with PP.
OP, you are on here - so what's the big deal?
Aren't most of the posts asking for help, advice about parenting, etc?

OP again. I'm referring to when they are talking poorly about someone and sharing specific details. It's like they have an experience and run to DCUM thinking they will be anonymous or "there is no way the friend is also on DCUM and will see my post."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had a conversation with someone and then they went ant posted here with details that were not accurate. I am a teacher and I made my collages aware that she had no problem lying about me and misrepresenting what we spoke about.

Did she identify the school? Use your name? Post other specific details that would have made it possible to identify you?

If not, then your colleagues probably thought you were crazy when you brought it up with them. Unless you would be easily identifiable from the post, telling people she's "lying about you" online only draws attention to whatever the conflict is and makes it seem like you have something to be embarrassed or ashamed about.

[Anonymous]

I don’t post anything that isn’t true, nor would I care if someone “outed” me. I figure, if I’m on here and someone I know is on here…welp, we’re both equally “guilty.”

Ooooh, I’m 43, live in Crofton, drive a CR-V, and have two daughters. Stars: they’re just like you!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some of you post VERY specific stories. I'll have a conversation at the playground with a friend about the principal and then the next day, almost verbatim, is a post on DCUM about it. Or someone will copy/paste an email from their boss or friend. Saying DS when it's really your DD or my 5 year old instead of your 4 year old MAY help you get away with it. You may also get away with it if you don't live in the DMV, but I'm sure a lot of lies about the location are told.

Anyways, why do people post such a specific description? Met your friend through pre-school and now still friends in 1st grade? My neighbor who has 2 kids and works at NIH doesn't take in their trash cans?

LOL - there are literally *thousands* of parents who work at NIH. That description alone describes maybe a dozen of my neighbors. And people who became friends in preschool and are still friends in first grade - for real?

These things aren’t as specific as you think they are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Agree with PP.
OP, you are on here - so what's the big deal?
Aren't most of the posts asking for help, advice about parenting, etc?

OP again. I'm referring to when they are talking poorly about someone and sharing specific details. It's like they have an experience and run to DCUM thinking they will be anonymous or "there is no way the friend is also on DCUM and will see my post."

A couple times I have posted not-very-specific things on here knowing that the person I'm talking about is on DCUM and would likely see it. But I'm careful. Plausible deniability always. You want to frame it so that if they were to bring it up, they would look insane.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Agree with PP.
OP, you are on here - so what's the big deal?
Aren't most of the posts asking for help, advice about parenting, etc?

OP again. I'm referring to when they are talking poorly about someone and sharing specific details. It's like they have an experience and run to DCUM thinking they will be anonymous or "there is no way the friend is also on DCUM and will see my post."

A couple times I have posted not-very-specific things on here knowing that the person I'm talking about is on DCUM and would likely see it. But I'm careful. Plausible deniability always. You want to frame it so that if they were to bring it up, they would look insane.

NP. I love this. Please, please, please post a link or two?!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Agree with PP.
OP, you are on here - so what's the big deal?
Aren't most of the posts asking for help, advice about parenting, etc?

OP again. I'm referring to when they are talking poorly about someone and sharing specific details. It's like they have an experience and run to DCUM thinking they will be anonymous or "there is no way the friend is also on DCUM and will see my post."

A couple times I have posted not-very-specific things on here knowing that the person I'm talking about is on DCUM and would likely see it. But I'm careful. Plausible deniability always. You want to frame it so that if they were to bring it up, they would look insane.

NP. I love this. Please, please, please post a link or two?!

No way! Merely posting a link would be too revealing. I do enjoy baiting a certain person on here though. It surprisingly easy -- she almost always bites.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Agree with PP.
OP, you are on here - so what's the big deal?
Aren't most of the posts asking for help, advice about parenting, etc?

OP again. I'm referring to when they are talking poorly about someone and sharing specific details. It's like they have an experience and run to DCUM thinking they will be anonymous or "there is no way the friend is also on DCUM and will see my post."

A couple times I have posted not-very-specific things on here knowing that the person I'm talking about is on DCUM and would likely see it. But I'm careful. Plausible deniability always. You want to frame it so that if they were to bring it up, they would look insane.

NP. I love this. Please, please, please post a link or two?!

No way! Merely posting a link would be too revealing. I do enjoy baiting a certain person on here though. It surprisingly easy -- she almost always bites.

Aw shucks. You are right, my castle in France does have a moat and you can use fish as bait to catch some eels. Is that what we were talking about?