Dealing with period at school (DD11)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hard disagree on the restriction being “a part of life.” Would any of you accept your boss telling you when you can and can’t use the restroom? If some kids are skipping class, then better monitoring and larger deterrents are need to curb that behavior. It is wild how many adults are willing to accept the casual carceral organization of school life. Wild.

I've been in meetings where someone has abruptly suggested we pause for a five minute break and rushed out of the room. Nobody blinks. We just use the time to relax or refresh a drink or talk one-on-one with someone or use a restroom and then pick up where we left off.

[Anonymous]

Same PP as above- Periods timing and flow can be so irregular particularly early after menarche. Please tell me that someone who is freaking out about a random huge clot should be expected to just sit there and focus on learning while ignoring the possibility that they are going to leak through their pants. It’s not just stupid, it’s abusive and bad for learning outcomes for menstruating people. And again it imposes restrictions that are absolutely INSANE outside of a school setting (and inside it too but clearly there are some who don’t agree)

[Anonymous]

My 11-year-old sixth grader just started her periods too. They’re very irregular and just today she had an accident at school. I asked if her teachers had restrictions and she said no.

I made sure to tell her that if she ever feels like she needs to go to the bathroom, and the teacher won’t let her, that she can just go, and the teacher and principal can call me and I will deal with them. She is a quiet, straight a kid who does not cause trouble. I think it’s unfair that women and girls to risk bleeding through or having a bleeding accident in school because their teachers won’t let them go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DD is in 6th grade and just got her period for the second time. She is strategic about what classes she asks to go to the bathroom in, so she can change her pad. I don't know every detail, but I assume it's something like wanting to go to a close bathroom, a more private bathroom, a class she won't miss important things in, maximizing the use of one pad (timing), etc.

She came to me and said, Mrs. O (English) says we can't go to the bathroom in her class anymore, and here's why that's hard for me.... then, we talked and came up with a solution for her to go a bit later in the day.

But this strikes me as unfair and making a hard thing harder, for no reason. I feel like MS teachers should never have this rule. What do you think?

Public or private? If it's public, confirm with the teacher and then go way above her head to have someone explain why this form of gender discrimination is being allowed

How is is gender discrimination if no one can use the bathroom during her class?

Do boys get a period?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hard disagree on the restriction being “a part of life.” Would any of you accept your boss telling you when you can and can’t use the restroom? If some kids are skipping class, then better monitoring and larger deterrents are need to curb that behavior. It is wild how many adults are willing to accept the casual carceral organization of school life. Wild.

No. And I'm a lawyer. Even judges will break to let people use the bathroom. I would never even consider working somewhere that restricted my bathroom use. I cannot imagine any sane adult would.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hard disagree on the restriction being “a part of life.” Would any of you accept your boss telling you when you can and can’t use the restroom? If some kids are skipping class, then better monitoring and larger deterrents are need to curb that behavior. It is wild how many adults are willing to accept the casual carceral organization of school life. Wild.

No. And I'm a lawyer. Even judges will break to let people use the bathroom. I would never even consider working somewhere that restricted my bathroom use. I cannot imagine any sane adult would.

Adults aren’t goofing off in bathrooms and vaping, doing drugs, or making out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s always unfair to not let people who legitimately need to use the bathroom go to the bathroom. It’s also unfair for kids to continue to interrupt class with bogus bathroom requests.

Try period underwear for your DD.

Thinx got sued. https://www.ewg.org/news-insights/news/2022/04/new-lawsuit-contends-period-products-contain-forever-chemicals#:~:text=According%20to%20the%20complaint%20against,filed%20in%20Massachusetts%20in%202021.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kids are younger than this so please excuse this naive question:

When I was in middle school and high school, we had 4 minutes of “passing time” between classes. If your next class was on the other side of the school, you needed that time to walk there, but most classes were fairly close together, so that was when I changed pads/tampons. And so did everyone else I know. That was when you were supposed to do things like go to the bathroom, get water, go to your locker, etc. So most teachers were unwilling to have you use the bathroom during class, which made perfect sense to me.

Am I missing something here? What’s changed?

My HS kid has 2 minutes between classes.
2 minutes.

[Anonymous]

Our 11 year old DD just wears a Thinx modal boyshort all day at school. Had zero problems so far this school year. We size up 1. These require a little hand washing before putting in the machine and hang drying for 2 days. I use Dr Bronners soap. can't use any fabric softener. We have several pairs to last the week. On really light days, we are using Thinx Air, but they aren't as leak proof as we'd like. Maybe too light.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our 11 year old DD just wears a Thinx modal boyshort all day at school. Had zero problems so far this school year. We size up 1. These require a little hand washing before putting in the machine and hang drying for 2 days. I use Dr Bronners soap. can't use any fabric softener. We have several pairs to last the week. On really light days, we are using Thinx Air, but they aren't as leak proof as we'd like. Maybe too light.

I meant for hand washing, I use Dr Bronners Castille soap. I like tea tree. In the machine, I use detergent, which for us is Dr Bronners Sal Suds 1.5 tbsp

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 11-year-old sixth grader just started her periods too. They’re very irregular and just today she had an accident at school. I asked if her teachers had restrictions and she said no.

I made sure to tell her that if she ever feels like she needs to go to the bathroom, and the teacher won’t let her, that she can just go, and the teacher and principal can call me and I will deal with them. She is a quiet, straight a kid who does not cause trouble. I think it’s unfair that women and girls to risk bleeding through or having a bleeding accident in school because their teachers won’t let them go.

I told this to my DD as well. Because she is a well behaved kid and the teachers like her, she’s usually allowed to go to the bathroom when she asks. But if she ever runs into a teacher whose being a jerk, she can just go and I will have her back.

[Anonymous]

Period underwear to minimize worries about leaks. My DD uses them with pads on heavier days. If not allowed to get to the bathroom, ask to see the nurse. No one can turn that down.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hard disagree on the restriction being “a part of life.” Would any of you accept your boss telling you when you can and can’t use the restroom? If some kids are skipping class, then better monitoring and larger deterrents are need to curb that behavior. It is wild how many adults are willing to accept the casual carceral organization of school life. Wild.

No. And I'm a lawyer. Even judges will break to let people use the bathroom. I would never even consider working somewhere that restricted my bathroom use. I cannot imagine any sane adult would.

Adults aren’t goofing off in bathrooms and vaping, doing drugs, or making out.

So what? Then the adults need to address those things and not restrict kids with legitimate needs from using the facilities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids are younger than this so please excuse this naive question:

When I was in middle school and high school, we had 4 minutes of “passing time” between classes. If your next class was on the other side of the school, you needed that time to walk there, but most classes were fairly close together, so that was when I changed pads/tampons. And so did everyone else I know. That was when you were supposed to do things like go to the bathroom, get water, go to your locker, etc. So most teachers were unwilling to have you use the bathroom during class, which made perfect sense to me.

Am I missing something here? What’s changed?

Some campuses are bigger than others. Some schools only give three minutes. Sometimes when the bell rings your teacher keeps everyone for an extra 30 seconds. Or keeps you. Or you have to talk to them about something. Or you're carrying three classes worth of heavy books and have to go to the other side of campus to dump those in your locker, get the new books for the next three classes and then go back to the side of campus you were just on. Or between classes you have to run to your sibling's class to drop off a paper because he's home sick but that teacher is a jerk and said if the paper isn't handed in that day they get a 0. Or a thousand other things.

PP here. If it’s 3 minutes, okay, I’d buy that and be concerned.

Beyond that - I don’t find this convincing. I went to what was at the time literally the biggest middle school in the country. (600 kids per grade, 1800 students total) and this was still manageable. You don’t need to change your pad after EVERY class. What, 2x per day? You need to plan. Sometimes you go to the bathroom (when you’ll have the most time and the bathroom is most convenient). Sometimes you’ve got a long walk to the next class and that’s all you do. Sometimes you stop at your locker. Sometimes you run an errand. That’s what passing time is made for!

The fact that so many people are telling you to get the principal involved (!!) when a) there’s a system in place for this - passing time and b) this is just one teacher that won’t let your kid go to the bathroom and you were able to work around it by going in other classes seems crazy to me. You guys are one of Those Parents, I’m sorry to say.

Are you a woman? Are you serious?! Sometimes menstrual flow doesn’t respect the fact that the time you can change your pad is 1:30.

If you are a woman, and you have NEVER had this problem, I am genuinely happy for you. The rest of us have not been so lucky, and can feel an emergency on the way during English class. No one should be prevented from going to the bathroom.

[Anonymous]

I’m 16:27.

My daughter just started on her period and is irregular. I’m only just learning about period underwear. I’m learning on this board that there might be issues with it and so is there any real truth to this? As we are gearing up for outdoor Ed I want to make sure I send her with the best possible tools to help her in case she starts a period while at camp.