Daughter ruining career prospects

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've never had an internship and yet managed to get a job after graduating from college. It IS possible.

1. You probably majored in something employable.

2. You probably graduated before 2008 when the hiring market wasn't so dependent on internships.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She will get a job after she graduates. Promise.

Nope. Humanities majors who don't have a junior summer internship are NOT in good shape for the full-time post-grad. Even if they're at an Ivy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You AGAIN?

Clearly your daughter is rebelling against you after what i suspect is a lifetime of you being overbearing and pressuring her. She is taking pleasure in yanking your chain. I suggest you say "that sounds great dear, but you know dad and I can't fund you at all after you graduate, so just as long as you are clear on that, I say go for it."

Basically she is rebelling like a young teen because she probably never got that chance when she was in high school because you were on her case all the time.

And I should say, I actually agree with you that this is a dumb move on her part -- the summer to work as a camp counselor is after freshman year, not junior year, even for a social sciences/humanities major (which I was myself). But you created this problem and the best thing you can do now is to practice radical acceptance and let her figure this out in her own time.

Thank you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You need to back off. A summer counselor is fine. An internship will not make or break her career.

For a humanities major it will. Read that other "squandered elite education" thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe if you hadn’t pushed her to apply to A HUNDRED FIFTY!!!! internships she wouldn’t be so goddamn burnt out.

150 is a pretty typical amount. I think most college students apply to 150 full-time jobs their senior year.

[Anonymous]

Damn 150 applications. My kid is only 9 but it makes me sad for his future.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Damn 150 applications. My kid is only 9 but it makes me sad for his future.

Don’t be sad. 150 is not typical. OP is certifiable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Damn 150 applications. My kid is only 9 but it makes me sad for his future.

Don’t be sad. 150 is not typical. OP is certifiable.

Most of DD's friends also applied to 100+. And they are top students at an elite Ivy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Damn 150 applications. My kid is only 9 but it makes me sad for his future.

Don’t be sad. 150 is not typical. OP is certifiable.

Most of DD's friends also applied to 100+. And they are top students at an elite Ivy.

nobody is applying to 150+ internships lmao, especially not "top students"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Damn 150 applications. My kid is only 9 but it makes me sad for his future.

Don’t be sad. 150 is not typical. OP is certifiable.

Most of DD's friends also applied to 100+. And they are top students at an elite Ivy.

Are all the friends that applied to 100+ internships in the room with us right now?

[Anonymous]

Your daughter is at an Ivy. She’s making all sorts of friends that will help her network to find meaningful and lucrative work. Maybe not as lucrative as what you suggested, but enough.

Life is long and there’s plenty of time for her to figure out her path.

[Anonymous]

I mean what does your DD want to do for a career? You say she’s idealistic. I was an idealistic kid, but unlike you had very supportive parents. They made clear that I’d have to support myself after college (including any price tag of further education beyond undergrad which I also borrowed a small amount for).

I majored in French and poli sci at a state flagship. I didn’t intern the summer after junior year—I had a great and fulfilling time as an academic advisor for incoming freshmen. I spent the year after I graduated dirt poor, living in France teaching. But I made it work and it was another amazing experience. I then worked in a law firm and hated it—again another great learning experience, it helped me learn I didn’t want to go to law school and was more interested in working for non profits. So I went to a prestigious grad school to get a degree in the field I wanted to land in (public policy).

Now I work in a nonprofit making money I’d never dream of making at a nonprofit (high $160s), with excellent work life balance and benefits, doing impactful work that energizes me. As a bonus, all my loans were recently forgiven through the public service loan forgiveness program. Sure this salary may be “low” by your standards and perhaps I’m not working a prestigious enough job by your standards, BUT I haven’t wanted for anything and have never been a drain on my parents. I graduated into the Great Recession, BTW.

Reading this makes me sad for your DD and makes me cherish my parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You AGAIN?

Clearly your daughter is rebelling against you after what i suspect is a lifetime of you being overbearing and pressuring her. She is taking pleasure in yanking your chain. I suggest you say "that sounds great dear, but you know dad and I can't fund you at all after you graduate, so just as long as you are clear on that, I say go for it."

Basically she is rebelling like a young teen because she probably never got that chance when she was in high school because you were on her case all the time.

And I should say, I actually agree with you that this is a dumb move on her part -- the summer to work as a camp counselor is after freshman year, not junior year, even for a social sciences/humanities major (which I was myself). But you created this problem and the best thing you can do now is to practice radical acceptance and let her figure this out in her own time.

Thank you.

You can’t quote only the part you agree with! That same PP told you to back off.

[Anonymous]

Maybe she just isn’t interested in going into banking/finance/consulting when she graduates. Not everyone is focused on earning the most money at the expense of everything else. Your daughter may have different values than you.

[Anonymous]

I have no previous knowledge of OP, but you guys are really mean. The reality is she’s right. OP, your daughter will be much more marketable with an internship this summer. Ideally, something related to her major in a business related field. It’s not at all hard to crank out 100 LinkedIn apps with resume and cover letter if needed. I have an ambitious college sophomore who had an incredible internship from 10th to 12th grade HS. He interned last summer along with a remote summer class. He’s applied to countless internships and received two offers. One is offering 1k/wk! He’ll have 3 internships under his belt before Junior year. He’ll also get college credits by filling out a form and taking a simple 1 credit course reflection as an elective. Sure this may sound like a humble brag, but I’ve told him to slow his roll because he’s killing himself with 17 credits this semester, and praying to the gods he passes an accounting final. Maybe your DD might find it appealing to gain extra credits from an internship through her university. Dangle that carrot. Shaving off some credits can satisfy any remaining required electives, which no college senior wants to deal with.