Daughter ruining career prospects

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have no previous knowledge of OP, but you guys are really mean. The reality is she’s right. OP, your daughter will be much more marketable with an internship this summer. Ideally, something related to her major in a business related field. It’s not at all hard to crank out 100 LinkedIn apps with resume and cover letter if needed. I have an ambitious college sophomore who had an incredible internship from 10th to 12th grade HS. He interned last summer along with a remote summer class. He’s applied to countless internships and received two offers. One is offering 1k/wk! He’ll have 3 internships under his belt before Junior year. He’ll also get college credits by filling out a form and taking a simple 1 credit course reflection as an elective. Sure this may sound like a humble brag, but I’ve told him to slow his roll because he’s killing himself with 17 credits this semester, and praying to the gods he passes an accounting final. Maybe your DD might find it appealing to gain extra credits from an internship through her university. Dangle that carrot. Shaving off some credits can satisfy any remaining required electives, which no college senior wants to deal with.

Whether she’s more marketable that way depends on what she wants to do. If she wants to become a teacher, her camp counselor plan may be productive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This poster actually makes me glad to be a Gen Xer whose parents barely noticed whether or not they even went to college.

+1 And I think about how many times my parents held their tongue when I made dumb decisions, but they were my decisions and I was forced to own the consequences. I can’t imagine the resentment I might feel later on had I been strong armed into doing what they wanted me to.

[Anonymous]

I’m the MrS poster, sure it’s a snarky comment but “Princeton mom” talks about using college as a time to find a mate. Many high earning men value a teacher as a spouse, and if she enjoys being a camp counselor and teacher more, it’s not a bad plan. Half of DCUM is SAHM with Ivy law degrees for heavens sake.

I have a Masters and work, so clearly this wasn’t my plan, nor do I encourage my daughters to make the man the plan, but I am saying that it is possible that OP daughter is thinking along these lines — maybe it’s worth having a frank conversation about how much the lifestyle she wants as an adult costs, and how the “right man” may elude her. Does she have a serious boyfriend now?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Damn 150 applications. My kid is only 9 but it makes me sad for his future.

Don’t be sad. 150 is not typical. OP is certifiable.

Most of DD's friends also applied to 100+. And they are top students at an elite Ivy.

Are all the friends that applied to 100+ internships in the room with us right now?

Eh, I think it’s possible. Think OCI at top law schools - one resume goes to dozens of top firms. There’s a variation of this at top Ivies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have no previous knowledge of OP, but you guys are really mean. The reality is she’s right. OP, your daughter will be much more marketable with an internship this summer. Ideally, something related to her major in a business related field. It’s not at all hard to crank out 100 LinkedIn apps with resume and cover letter if needed. I have an ambitious college sophomore who had an incredible internship from 10th to 12th grade HS. He interned last summer along with a remote summer class. He’s applied to countless internships and received two offers. One is offering 1k/wk! He’ll have 3 internships under his belt before Junior year. He’ll also get college credits by filling out a form and taking a simple 1 credit course reflection as an elective. Sure this may sound like a humble brag, but I’ve told him to slow his roll because he’s killing himself with 17 credits this semester, and praying to the gods he passes an accounting final. Maybe your DD might find it appealing to gain extra credits from an internship through her university. Dangle that carrot. Shaving off some credits can satisfy any remaining required electives, which no college senior wants to deal with.

Her daughter is doing great, especially under the tutelage of such overbearing parents. She is getting a great education, has already done an internship, will be working in the summer and has applied to 150 jobs.

The kid already knows she does not want to go into Finance, she had that experience and hated it. She is doing the smart thing by following her instinct and not going for an internship that will make her miserable . She has not turned down any other offers. I applaud OP’s daughter.

OP, get off her back, you are not being helpful. You are stressing your daughter out and making her doubt her instincts.

[Anonymous]

Honestly OP your kid is on schedule to graduate into a recession and hiring for recent college grads may suck. You should be encouraging her to apply to graduate school where she can spend that time waiting out a recession and graduate with an advanced degree that will help her get a better job than she could right out of college. She should be gearing up to get a degree in law, public policy, or MBA from a top school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:the more you push her, the more she will rebel. Your advice is fairly solid, but she has to find her own way. That may be painful for you to watch, but it is her life. The best thing you can do is be supportive (and mean it)!

I also promise you that history majors can get good jobs too. Last year, I hired a history major from undergrad into my consulting firm at $67k. He is doing very well and will likely be promoted in the spring. That promotion will come with a 12% raise that will put him at $80k before he is even 25!!!

1. I guarantee you that this kid you hired had a corporate internship his junior summer. Maybe not at the same consulting firm, but probably one that set him up for the job you hired.

2. $80k at 24 is really nothing. Some of the internships that DD interviewed for (and unfortunately got rejected from) pay way more than that for fresh college grads. I think Bridgewater was the highest at $150k for the first year out of college.

Wow...slow down. You are really going to push your DD into burnout. You are too intense.

1. the kid did NOT have a big corporate internship. he had an internship with a small local nonprofit in his college town and spent 2 summers doing paid research for professors.

2. it is extremely rare for someone under 28 and WITHOUT a graduate degree to make six figures. Most folks don't cross that threshold until they are 30. Perhaps the exception is finance careers. but it is clear your DD doesn't want to do that. You totally missed the point I was making here. She can still do well for herself if she doesn't go the finance route. In my example, the employee is actually 22. and the bigger point I was making about his salary is that he is on a trajectory to do very well for being a "history major" (that you look down upon). If his performance holds up, I expect him to make manager in 5 years (still under 30) and his salary would be six figures--even as a second year senior consultant. So maybe layoff your daughter some.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly OP your kid is on schedule to graduate into a recession and hiring for recent college grads may suck. You should be encouraging her to apply to graduate school where she can spend that time waiting out a recession and graduate with an advanced degree that will help her get a better job than she could right out of college. She should be gearing up to get a degree in law, public policy, or MBA from a top school.

MBAs required good work experience beforehand. And why would anyone advise their kid to go to law school? Nearly every lawyer I know hates their job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Good for her for wanting to do something fun that will give her real skills instead of a BS internship at a BS company.

Well, I've looked at the internship, and it seems very legitimate. Their former interns have good placement into full-time roles in strategy and management consulting.

And please do tell -- what "real skills" does a summer camp counselor gain?

I can't read this whole thread. Strategy and management consulting has ruined industry in this country, created an overpaid c-suite, and decimated meaningful jobs for middle and low wage workers. Doing this work is not everybody's dream. Your daughter is an adult. She will find her path.

[Anonymous]

OP, I’ve read your posts before. You remind me of my own mom. She just will NOT STOP until she gets the results she wants, even if she has to act like a crazy person. Her “righteousness” knows no limits or boundaries. The truth is, whether you are right here or not, your daughters decisions are out of your control. Say your piece, repeat it once if you absolutely must, and then be quiet and let her be.

The truth is we cannot convince anyone to do anything. The relentless pursuit of it is manipulation. My mother wouldn’t call it that though. To this day she considers it “her duty as a parent”.

[Anonymous]

I'm so tired of the narrative that you have to major in STEM to be a success. One of my oldest friends studied philosophy at a SLAC and international relations in grad school - he is now a filthy rich startup executive.

There is more than one path to success. AND - success looks different for everyone.

Please take a chill pill.

[Anonymous]

Land the helicopter, lady!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm so tired of the narrative that you have to major in STEM to be a success. One of my oldest friends studied philosophy at a SLAC and international relations in grad school - he is now a filthy rich startup executive.

There is more than one path to success. AND - success looks different for everyone.

Please take a chill pill.

That is what we call an exception. Or someone who got really lucky. Or someone with very well connected parents.

[Anonymous]

Working in a BS corporate job is not some glorious achievement—the only reason to pursue a corporate internship is to get that kind of job (or learn early that you hate it and want something else). There are a million ways to make a living, many with happier, more interesting people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm so tired of the narrative that you have to major in STEM to be a success. One of my oldest friends studied philosophy at a SLAC and international relations in grad school - he is now a filthy rich startup executive.

There is more than one path to success. AND - success looks different for everyone.

Please take a chill pill.

That is what we call an exception. Or someone who got really lucky. Or someone with very well connected parents.

I’m so tired of the narrative that you have to be filthy rich to be a success.