Advice for help advising driven teen and “elite” college admission

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a son like yours but we live in McLean. A lot of kids like him in VA and most of them go to UVA. My child wants to become a doctor like his dad. He puts so much pressure on himself that I tell him that getting into med school is more important than the undergrad he goes to.

It doesn’t matter if you are white or Asian, unless you are a recruited athlete or truly outstanding, getting into an ivy is like a lotto.

Wanted to add that my kid does a lot of activities and is good at almost everything. He isn’t necessarily outstanding at anything though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a son like yours but we live in McLean. A lot of kids like him in VA and most of them go to UVA. My child wants to become a doctor like his dad. He puts so much pressure on himself that I tell him that getting into med school is more important than the undergrad he goes to.

It doesn’t matter if you are white or Asian, unless you are a recruited athlete or truly outstanding, getting into an ivy is like a lotto.

But to be realistic, getting into UVA has become a lotto, especially for unhooked Nova kids. Last years incoming class has a 4,53 and an astounding 34 at the 75th percentile. Mcps full pay might have an edge.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can't believe OP said in the other duplicate thread that it's not "nice" assume she's Asian. WTH

You made "poor English = Asian" in that post. That's racism. And you expect OP to appreciate you?!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dear all,

Our daughter is currently a sophomore at a good public Moco school (W cluster) and distinguishing herself with high grades and good practice scores on PSAT. She’s also involved in activities but nothing that is standing out at regional/national level.
She is our first, and we have aspirations for her to attend an Ivy. She seems self driven to succeed and want the opportunities that an Ivy can provide and spring board for career. However, we know competition is tough locally and nationally.

Unfortunately, we don’t have expeirence in this matter as her father and I both attended state schools. We are doing ok, but both were not nearly as driven as her when we were her age. Do other parents who are far more knowledgeable/experienced with own path able to recommend service for elite college consultancy to help our DD on right track?

Many thanks.

Concerned anxious parent.

You have nothing to be anxious about.

[Anonymous]

Don't let the board get you down, I have multiple kids at Ivies and we are not minorities, athletes, or legacy.

Work hard and apply wisely with your ED. Do some unique ECs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What does your DD want? Seems more like this is your dream. I would focus on what she wants once she starts visiting colleges.

+100

"Getting into an Ivy" is never a good goal to have. Goals like "becoming a doctor," "becoming a software engineer," "being a writer," or "working to solve climate change/COVID/HIV" are all good goals to have. But aiming for the Ivies with no idea of what you want post-grad is a recipe for disaster -- and frankly, a recipe I see too many kids in this area fall into.

There are just many on DCUM obsessed with getting their child into an Ivy without any thought whatsoever as to the best fit for their child. They would probably sell their mother to get their child into any Ivy if they could. Its kind of pathetic given that there are so many great colleges that are better than the Ivies depending on the child and what he or she wants to study.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What does your DD want? Seems more like this is your dream. I would focus on what she wants once she starts visiting colleges.

+100

"Getting into an Ivy" is never a good goal to have. Goals like "becoming a doctor," "becoming a software engineer," "being a writer," or "working to solve climate change/COVID/HIV" are all good goals to have. But aiming for the Ivies with no idea of what you want post-grad is a recipe for disaster -- and frankly, a recipe I see too many kids in this area fall into.

There are just many on DCUM obsessed with getting their child into an Ivy without any thought whatsoever as to the best fit for their child. They would probably sell their mother to get their child into any Ivy if they could. Its kind of pathetic given that there are so many great colleges that are better than the Ivies depending on the child and what he or she wants to study.

Really? I don't see that here. If anything, I see way too much praise for mediocre LACs that have "a way better undergrad experience than a place like Harvard!"

[Anonymous]

NP. I have Ivy professors in my family. They tell me they don’t want their kids going to an Ivy for undergrad and are pushing the SLACs. They also told me that for graduate admissions, they really like kids from SLACs because they know they were well-educated. Just a data point but I think it is interesting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What does your DD want? Seems more like this is your dream. I would focus on what she wants once she starts visiting colleges.

+100

"Getting into an Ivy" is never a good goal to have. Goals like "becoming a doctor," "becoming a software engineer," "being a writer," or "working to solve climate change/COVID/HIV" are all good goals to have. But aiming for the Ivies with no idea of what you want post-grad is a recipe for disaster -- and frankly, a recipe I see too many kids in this area fall into.

There are just many on DCUM obsessed with getting their child into an Ivy without any thought whatsoever as to the best fit for their child. They would probably sell their mother to get their child into any Ivy if they could. Its kind of pathetic given that there are so many great colleges that are better than the Ivies depending on the child and what he or she wants to study.

Really? I don't see that here. If anything, I see way too much praise for mediocre LACs that have "a way better undergrad experience than a place like Harvard!"

Uh, it's pretty hard to miss

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What does your DD want? Seems more like this is your dream. I would focus on what she wants once she starts visiting colleges.

+100

"Getting into an Ivy" is never a good goal to have. Goals like "becoming a doctor," "becoming a software engineer," "being a writer," or "working to solve climate change/COVID/HIV" are all good goals to have. But aiming for the Ivies with no idea of what you want post-grad is a recipe for disaster -- and frankly, a recipe I see too many kids in this area fall into.

There are just many on DCUM obsessed with getting their child into an Ivy without any thought whatsoever as to the best fit for their child. They would probably sell their mother to get their child into any Ivy if they could. Its kind of pathetic given that there are so many great colleges that are better than the Ivies depending on the child and what he or she wants to study.

Really? I don't see that here. If anything, I see way too much praise for mediocre LACs that have "a way better undergrad experience than a place like Harvard!"

Uh, it's pretty hard to miss

See the comment above you:

"They also told me that for graduate admissions, they really like kids from SLACs because they know they were well-educated."

Hahaha. As if a Grinnell degree opens the same doors as one from HYPS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:NP. I have Ivy professors in my family. They tell me they don’t want their kids going to an Ivy for undergrad and are pushing the SLACs. They also told me that for graduate admissions, they really like kids from SLACs because they know they were well-educated. Just a data point but I think it is interesting.

I can totally see this. I'm an Ivy grad and I'm encouraging my DC to look at SLACs. She has found several SLACs that she loves and I'm so impressed with what I see. I think she'll get a better education at a SLAC than an Ivy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dear all,

Our daughter is currently a sophomore at a good public Moco school (W cluster) and distinguishing herself with high grades and good practice scores on PSAT. She’s also involved in activities but nothing that is standing out at regional/national level.
She is our first, and we have aspirations for her to attend an Ivy. She seems self driven to succeed and want the opportunities that an Ivy can provide and spring board for career. However, we know competition is tough locally and nationally.

Unfortunately, we don’t have expeirence in this matter as her father and I both attended state schools. We are doing ok, but both were not nearly as driven as her when we were her age. Do other parents who are far more knowledgeable/experienced with own path able to recommend service for elite college consultancy to help our DD on right track?

Many thanks.

Concerned anxious parent.

OP, you lost me at "we have aspirations for her to attend an Ivy."

I don't even know where to start.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What does your DD want? Seems more like this is your dream. I would focus on what she wants once she starts visiting colleges.

+100

"Getting into an Ivy" is never a good goal to have. Goals like "becoming a doctor," "becoming a software engineer," "being a writer," or "working to solve climate change/COVID/HIV" are all good goals to have. But aiming for the Ivies with no idea of what you want post-grad is a recipe for disaster -- and frankly, a recipe I see too many kids in this area fall into.

There are just many on DCUM obsessed with getting their child into an Ivy without any thought whatsoever as to the best fit for their child. They would probably sell their mother to get their child into any Ivy if they could. Its kind of pathetic given that there are so many great colleges that are better than the Ivies depending on the child and what he or she wants to study.

Really? I don't see that here. If anything, I see way too much praise for mediocre LACs that have "a way better undergrad experience than a place like Harvard!"

Uh, it's pretty hard to miss

See the comment above you:

"They also told me that for graduate admissions, they really like kids from SLACs because they know they were well-educated."

Hahaha. As if a Grinnell degree opens the same doors as one from HYPS.

For graduate school admissions at the Ivies? Grinnell definitely opens the same doors. Possibly more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What does your DD want? Seems more like this is your dream. I would focus on what she wants once she starts visiting colleges.

+100

"Getting into an Ivy" is never a good goal to have. Goals like "becoming a doctor," "becoming a software engineer," "being a writer," or "working to solve climate change/COVID/HIV" are all good goals to have. But aiming for the Ivies with no idea of what you want post-grad is a recipe for disaster -- and frankly, a recipe I see too many kids in this area fall into.

There are just many on DCUM obsessed with getting their child into an Ivy without any thought whatsoever as to the best fit for their child. They would probably sell their mother to get their child into any Ivy if they could. Its kind of pathetic given that there are so many great colleges that are better than the Ivies depending on the child and what he or she wants to study.

Really? I don't see that here. If anything, I see way too much praise for mediocre LACs that have "a way better undergrad experience than a place like Harvard!"

Uh, it's pretty hard to miss

See the comment above you:

"They also told me that for graduate admissions, they really like kids from SLACs because they know they were well-educated."

Hahaha. As if a Grinnell degree opens the same doors as one from HYPS.

For graduate school admissions at the Ivies? Grinnell definitely opens the same doors. Possibly more.

If you do well at HYPS undergrad, you don't even have to go to grad school. The kids I know at the top of their class from HYPS are not even going to grad school for the most part. They're walking straight into six figure jobs in consulting, investment banking, private equity, and product management. I don't see that happening at Grinnell (although it's possible a school like Williams or Amherst might be more conducive to that).

Plus, I'll have to admit that it's a little odd when SLAC boosters promote their high admissions rates into PhD programs. PhDs almost always have a negative ROI (even the ones in STEM), and many PhD students are extremely depressed as they realize that all their hard work was mainly for no financial reward.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP. I have Ivy professors in my family. They tell me they don’t want their kids going to an Ivy for undergrad and are pushing the SLACs. They also told me that for graduate admissions, they really like kids from SLACs because they know they were well-educated. Just a data point but I think it is interesting.

I can totally see this. I'm an Ivy grad and I'm encouraging my DC to look at SLACs. She has found several SLACs that she loves and I'm so impressed with what I see. I think she'll get a better education at a SLAC than an Ivy.

I agree, but I still think that an Ivy is better for most students than a SLACs (save for maybe Williams, Amherst, and Wellesley). College is not so much for the education that you get as much as it is for the connections you make and the internships/job opportunities you get after -- and that's much better at, say, Princeton than at Grinnell or Vassar.