Advice for help advising driven teen and “elite” college admission

[Anonymous]

Dear all,

Our daughter is currently a sophomore at a good public Moco school (W cluster) and distinguishing herself with high grades and good practice scores on PSAT. She’s also involved in activities but nothing that is standing out at regional/national level.
She is our first, and we have aspirations for her to attend an Ivy. She seems self driven to succeed and want the opportunities that an Ivy can provide and spring board for career. However, we know competition is tough locally and nationally.

Unfortunately, we don’t have expeirence in this matter as her father and I both attended state schools. We are doing ok, but both were not nearly as driven as her when we were her age. Do other parents who are far more knowledgeable/experienced with own path able to recommend service for elite college consultancy to help our DD on right track?

Many thanks.

Concerned anxious parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dear all,

Our daughter is currently a sophomore at a good public Moco school (W cluster) and distinguishing herself with high grades and good practice scores on PSAT. She’s also involved in activities but nothing that is standing out at regional/national level.
She is our first, and we have aspirations for her to attend an Ivy. She seems self driven to succeed and want the opportunities that an Ivy can provide and spring board for career. However, we know competition is tough locally and nationally.

Unfortunately, we don’t have expeirence in this matter as her father and I both attended state schools. We are doing ok, but both were not nearly as driven as her when we were her age. Do other parents who are far more knowledgeable/experienced with own path able to recommend service for elite college consultancy to help our DD on right track?

Many thanks.

Concerned anxious parent.

First, consultants have no secrets, there are no secrets, do not expect them. Do not hire any of the ones that have "ivy" and the like in their name.

The best thing you can do for your child is get them to understand that there are plenty of great colleges and a "top performer" is pretty much guaranteed one - just not necessarily a top 20, and maybe not a top 50 out of 3,000 colleges.

Design a standard "reach-match-safety" approach and take your kid to visit match and reach schools FIRST. Don't move on until you have found a couple of those they love.

Do your research and set expectations. The best resources are you HS guidance counselor and naviance. They are flawed but the best you have. Since your kid is a soph, you have plenty of time to develop a good relationship with the GC who writes the recommendation. Do that ASAP.

Don't listen to those who say unhooked kids don't get admitted to an ivy. Check out the admits for your HS. If it never happens to anyone else, it's unlikely to happen to you. If Cornell or Dartmouth takes an average of 3 students a year from your school and you are the top kid, then yes it is worth a shot. It's a longshot, but you can take it.

And know that wherever your kid ends up, they will likely be certain that was the perfect place.

[Anonymous]

Just encourage her to pursue fully what excites her, both in the classroom and out. being 'self-driven to succeed' has value, but what's even better is having something for which you have a passion toward which you direct that ambition.

There was an article in the Post a couple of years ago that referenced the website at the link below as being helpful for those who erroneously believe that an elite college brings more success than a strong state school. It's worth a read.

https://lesshighschoolstress.com/

[Anonymous]

I am surprised to see you say she is distinguishing herself with high grades. Are you aware how many kids get straight As or close to it every semester? That is just not a way to stand out in MCPS. Step away from the focus on the ivies. There are many great schools without that label. Columbia and Dartmouth are very different schools.

Being at a W school also means she will be competing with many kids for ivy spots.

[Anonymous]

Read this book. Then give it to your daughter to read.

https://mcpl.aspendiscovery.org/GroupedWork/f4e9c8de-8cf6-4566-3092-dd229efbe9e2-eng/Home?searchId=5824023&recordIndex=1&page=1&searchSource=local&referred=resultIndex

[Anonymous]

You've received some great advice here, however the process is about your child's aspirations, not yours.
You're looking at it all wrong. Once you have better data about your child (test scores, academic performance) you and your child can start to develop, as has been said, a balanced list of reaches, targets, and safeties. Then visit a bunch in person, from all 3 categories to get a flavor of her priorities. My high stats, huge EC's kid is applying ED to a "target", because that is the school he loves for many reasons. My other is at reach for everyone, with a less than 5% RD acceptance rate, that she wanted more than anywhere. So what. Once you have done your research and you know more, let your child's wishes come to the fore, not yours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You've received some great advice here, however the process is about your child's aspirations, not yours.
You're looking at it all wrong. Once you have better data about your child (test scores, academic performance) you and your child can start to develop, as has been said, a balanced list of reaches, targets, and safeties. Then visit a bunch in person, from all 3 categories to get a flavor of her priorities. My high stats, huge EC's kid is applying ED to a "target", because that is the school he loves for many reasons. My other is at reach for everyone, with a less than 5% RD acceptance rate, that she wanted more than anywhere. So what. Once you have done your research and you know more, let your child's wishes come to the fore, not yours.

This. It seems you have Ivy aspirations. Don't do this to your daughter. She sounds amazing but also like your basic W School kid.

[Anonymous]

Kids have the ability to be very thoughtful and intentional during this process.
My kids had the stats to purchase the lottery ticket that is Ivy admissions, but did not apply to any, for a bunch of reasons that they themselves, developed.
Part of growing up (and letting go) is giving your child agency.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You've received some great advice here, however the process is about your child's aspirations, not yours.
You're looking at it all wrong. Once you have better data about your child (test scores, academic performance) you and your child can start to develop, as has been said, a balanced list of reaches, targets, and safeties. Then visit a bunch in person, from all 3 categories to get a flavor of her priorities. My high stats, huge EC's kid is applying ED to a "target", because that is the school he loves for many reasons. My other is at reach for everyone, with a less than 5% RD acceptance rate, that she wanted more than anywhere. So what. Once you have done your research and you know more, let your child's wishes come to the fore, not yours.

This. It seems you have Ivy aspirations. Don't do this to your daughter. She sounds amazing but also like your basic W School kid.

I agree. Daughter is just a Sophomore and mother is anxious already. Yeez!

[Anonymous]

You say you want to help her, but honestly the only way to help her is to listen to what she wants, be honest and frank with her about things such as what you can afford, what her chances are, and encourage her to pursue activities that she enjoys. There is no magic formula and she will not likely get into an Ivy so time to start exploring other options that she can also get excited about (well maybe not now, but next year).

[Anonymous]

Don't impose the Ivy standard on your kid. Let them be a kid and develop on their own. If she hits the 3% lottery and gets into an Ivy, then good for her, if that is what SHE wants. But there are hundreds or thousands of great schools out there.

[Anonymous]

Go follow some tiktoks on ivy admissions; you will be humbled quickly. Unless by "high grades and good practice scores on PSAT" you mean all A's in all AP classes and a 1580 on the PSAT, you should adjust your (and her) expectations.

[Anonymous]

Read the book: Who gets in and Why

https://jeffselingo.com/books/who-gets-in-and-why/

You need to understand the landscape and the process. At this point in time the best advice would be to encourage your child to go deep into a passion. Example - is your child is interested in becoming a Dr - doing community service hours at the Children's Inn at NIH could show depth how it is not only academic.

There are more Valedictorians than spots at Ivies

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dear all,

Our daughter is currently a sophomore at a good public Moco school (W cluster) and distinguishing herself with high grades and good practice scores on PSAT. She’s also involved in activities but nothing that is standing out at regional/national level.
She is our first, and we have aspirations for her to attend an Ivy. She seems self driven to succeed and want the opportunities that an Ivy can provide and spring board for career. However, we know competition is tough locally and nationally.

Unfortunately, we don’t have expeirence in this matter as her father and I both attended state schools. We are doing ok, but both were not nearly as driven as her when we were her age. Do other parents who are far more knowledgeable/experienced with own path able to recommend service for elite college consultancy to help our DD on right track?

Many thanks.

Concerned anxious parent.

C'mon DCUM. Can we not identify a bored troll up in the middle of the night?

MCPS not Moco
W school not cluster
PSAT score not practice scores on PSAT

Clearly OP isn't a native English speaker - too many odd phrases. Entire post is lacking in any specificity that is typical of an actual person inquiring about an actual child. I would almost think it was an AI attempt at a post based on typical phrases in this forum, except for the spelling errors.

[Anonymous]

I can't believe OP said in the other duplicate thread that it's not "nice" assume she's Asian. WTH