Inconsiderate gift (or AITA)?

[Anonymous]

I think people who direct others re: give this/not that are more of a problem than the people giving unwanted gifts. Just donate it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think people who direct others re: give this/not that are more of a problem than the people giving unwanted gifts. Just donate it.

Some of this stuff even thrift shops don’t want. They have rent to pay and need items that sell, Plus you waste gas and spread pollution driving there, For the environment and basic decency, if someone says no gifts then respect it, Do not impose stuff on people. It’s not a gift if someone has asked you to stop. It’s imposing.

[Anonymous]

I’d like to say how much I appreciate you using the word “give” instead of trying to turn “gift” into a verb.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’d like to say how much I appreciate you using the word “give” instead of trying to turn “gift” into a verb.

Lol. Think along with stppping the use of “gift” as a word we need to rethink stuff as gifts. A parent who is kind and encouraging is a gift. Giving stuff you have been told is unwanted is not a gift. Keep your stuff and just be a loving and decent person. Oh and not sure if it relates to OPs situation, but a gift with strings is not a gift. If you expect anything in return make it clear so the person can reject your bribe.

[Anonymous]

I have an extreme fear of jewelry . Thankfully everyone who truly knows me knows this. If I’m given It by someone else I say thank you and try desperately not to break out in hives then I throw it away . If someone I know gave it to me I would assume they hate me. Yes return , re gift or throw away .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have an extreme fear of jewelry . Thankfully everyone who truly knows me knows this. If I’m given It by someone else I say thank you and try desperately not to break out in hives then I throw it away . If someone I know gave it to me I would assume they hate me. Yes return , re gift or throw away .

This, There are some people who do use gifts for their passive aggressive mental dances and it's best to just have a no gift policy with these people. If OP has said repeatedly she does not like jewelry and mommy gets that for her, that is not being clueless or a bad gift giver. It's a way to try to engage in dysfunction. Also, people have a right to say "no thank you" to a gift. It is not rude especially if you have made clear the gift is your presence and we don't want gifts. Then you don't have to waste time finding a thrift shop to take it or worrying about the landfill if you throw it away or whatever. If you have a compulsion to give people stuff when they have asked you to stop because it's your "love language" then be prepared for them to give a polite decline and you can find someone else to impose your needs on.

[Anonymous]

My Mother in law does this all the time. My daughter goes by her nickname and doesn't really like her full name (Maddy vs. Madison). She also is a "tomboy" who loves sports, being outside/active, and really isn't into jewelry. My Mother in law for Christmas gave her a necklace with the name "Madison" in script. I should also mention my daughter is dyslexic and had no clue what the necklace said at first. She gave a polite "thanks" and moved on.

My Mother in law is a selfish jerk who really doesn't think about anyone other than herself. And pleasing my bully, narcissistic Father in law. Clearly we don't see them much. At this point I'd just accept you're going to get shit gifts from them. We even tried to get them to just make a donation to the World Wildlife Foundation, St. Jude or Gift Kids the World in DD's name (as per DD's request). Let's just say they are not "donation people"...

You can't change others OP, you just need to lower the bar significantly.

[Anonymous]

Can't you just say thanks and move on? Why must everything be a confrontation?

Just say thanks, then donate or pass to a friend who will wear it.