I cannot get over my yearning for one more baby

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thanks to those of you for all the thoughtful (and not so nice) responses! I know a lot of people think it's gross/irresponsible to have more than 2 kids, so I was expecting that.

In response to some of the questions: my husband is fully supportive of whatever I want. He definitely would love another child, but would never push me into it.

I have a big job. My husband has settled into more of a SAHD, although he also has a full time job. He has a lot of flexibility which has worked well for us. That said, I have always been able to build in time for family stuff, even with a pretty intense job.

We have enough money to support another baby and all it entails; we've already invested in some of the things we'd need - like a big car, a big house, etc.

I am not a huge baby person! My favorite ages are really the 3-5 range, though I have enjoyed almost every phase of my children's lives.

In addition to being old, and worrying about problems the baby might have as a result of my age (a poster above mentioned that, and I think it's the thing that has held me back most), I also worry about having sufficient 1-1 time with my kids. I think we've always done a pretty good job of managing that, but it's an important thing for me.

The funny thing is that my kids are the ones constantly mentioning their hope for another baby in the family! And life is definitely getting a lot easier as the kids get older.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks to those of you for all the thoughtful (and not so nice) responses! I know a lot of people think it's gross/irresponsible to have more than 2 kids, so I was expecting that.

In response to some of the questions: my husband is fully supportive of whatever I want. He definitely would love another child, but would never push me into it.

I have a big job. My husband has settled into more of a SAHD, although he also has a full time job. He has a lot of flexibility which has worked well for us. That said, I have always been able to build in time for family stuff, even with a pretty intense job.

We have enough money to support another baby and all it entails; we've already invested in some of the things we'd need - like a big car, a big house, etc.

I am not a huge baby person! My favorite ages are really the 3-5 range, though I have enjoyed almost every phase of my children's lives.

In addition to being old, and worrying about problems the baby might have as a result of my age (a poster above mentioned that, and I think it's the thing that has held me back most), I also worry about having sufficient 1-1 time with my kids. I think we've always done a pretty good job of managing that, but it's an important thing for me.

The funny thing is that my kids are the ones constantly mentioning their hope for another baby in the family! And life is definitely getting a lot easier as the kids get older.

People with “big jobs” as you say you have don’t get on and drum and write this crap.

[Anonymous]

Jesus ladies!
Enjoy the family you have!
Stop with the pining!
Kids are $$$
If you don’t work you’re even more up the creek if your partner loses a job/leaves
Stay present. Give your current kids attention.
Find a hobby. Get fit. Read. Go back to school.
Your life is not just about your kids.
When they are older and have flown the nest
WHAT WILL YOU HAVE?
Is your only conversation topic your kids?
I am not a troll but these posts are so annoying.

[Anonymous]

An unhealthy yearning ~ would result in an unhealthy family, emotionally.

Op -- Mothers like different phases. Some Mothers love the infant phase. Some don't, not so much. Some love the older-kid phase.

You can not -- should not -- just keep trying to recreate the phase you love the most. You move on. You grow as a person. You appreciate new experience, new challenges. That's how you become a good Mother, that your family needs now and for the future.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Jesus ladies!
Enjoy the family you have!
Stop with the pining!
Kids are $$$
If you don’t work you’re even more up the creek if your partner loses a job/leaves
Stay present. Give your current kids attention.
Find a hobby. Get fit. Read. Go back to school.
Your life is not just about your kids.
When they are older and have flown the nest
WHAT WILL YOU HAVE?
Is your only conversation topic your kids?
I am not a troll but these posts are so annoying.

+1. Monumentally annoying.

[Anonymous]

At your age you are at higher risk of a child with special needs. I would not take that risk given how many children you already have. OP, there are opportunities for you to bond with other babies if you just need to cuddle a baby. Hold a friend's newborn or babysit, volunteer to hold babies in the NICU ... etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Jesus ladies!
Enjoy the family you have!
Stop with the pining!
Kids are $$$
If you don’t work you’re even more up the creek if your partner loses a job/leaves
Stay present. Give your current kids attention.
Find a hobby. Get fit. Read. Go back to school.
Your life is not just about your kids.
When they are older and have flown the nest
WHAT WILL YOU HAVE?
Is your only conversation topic your kids?
I am not a troll but these posts are so annoying.

+1. Monumentally annoying.

And ungrateful.

[Anonymous]

I have four which is definitely crazy but I love babies. My youngest is now two and every moment with her is precious because we are done unless lightning strikes. If you really love the baby phase I don’t think you ever get over the yearning. But at some point we all just move on and enjoy the children we have.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have four which is definitely crazy but I love babies. My youngest is now two and every moment with her is precious because we are done unless lightning strikes. If you really love the baby phase I don’t think you ever get over the yearning. But at some point we all just move on and enjoy the children we have.

Tacky breeder.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have four which is definitely crazy but I love babies. My youngest is now two and every moment with her is precious because we are done unless lightning strikes. If you really love the baby phase I don’t think you ever get over the yearning. But at some point we all just move on and enjoy the children we have.

Sounds like a recipe for resentment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Jesus ladies!
Enjoy the family you have!
Stop with the pining!
Kids are $$$
If you don’t work you’re even more up the creek if your partner loses a job/leaves
Stay present. Give your current kids attention.
Find a hobby. Get fit. Read. Go back to school.
Your life is not just about your kids.
When they are older and have flown the nest
WHAT WILL YOU HAVE?
Is your only conversation topic your kids?
I am not a troll but these posts are so annoying.

Why do you read them then??? Never really understand why people complain about posts rather than just skipping. That is what is annoying.

As for me I’m yearning for a second, but yes kids are $$$$ so not in a position to swing it and by the time I will will likely be too old.
The one I have though is precious!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Jesus ladies!
Enjoy the family you have!
Stop with the pining!
Kids are $$$
If you don’t work you’re even more up the creek if your partner loses a job/leaves
Stay present. Give your current kids attention.
Find a hobby. Get fit. Read. Go back to school.
Your life is not just about your kids.
When they are older and have flown the nest
WHAT WILL YOU HAVE?
Is your only conversation topic your kids?
I am not a troll but these posts are so annoying.

Why do you read them then??? Never really understand why people complain about posts rather than just skipping. That is what is annoying.

As for me I’m yearning for a second, but yes kids are $$$$ so not in a position to swing it and by the time I will will likely be too old.
The one I have though is precious!

Why did you read that persons posts then? You could have skipped it just the same. That would make you annoying as you said.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Jesus ladies!
Enjoy the family you have!
Stop with the pining!
Kids are $$$
If you don’t work you’re even more up the creek if your partner loses a job/leaves
Stay present. Give your current kids attention.
Find a hobby. Get fit. Read. Go back to school.
Your life is not just about your kids.
When they are older and have flown the nest
WHAT WILL YOU HAVE?
Is your only conversation topic your kids?
I am not a troll but these posts are so annoying.

Why do you read them then??? Never really understand why people complain about posts rather than just skipping. That is what is annoying.

As for me I’m yearning for a second, but yes kids are $$$$ so not in a position to swing it and by the time I will will likely be too old.
The one I have though is precious!

The same way you just complained? -np

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Jesus ladies!
Enjoy the family you have!
Stop with the pining!
Kids are $$$
If you don’t work you’re even more up the creek if your partner loses a job/leaves
Stay present. Give your current kids attention.
Find a hobby. Get fit. Read. Go back to school.
Your life is not just about your kids.
When they are older and have flown the nest
WHAT WILL YOU HAVE?
Is your only conversation topic your kids?
I am not a troll but these posts are so annoying.

Why do you read them then??? Never really understand why people complain about posts rather than just skipping. That is what is annoying.

As for me I’m yearning for a second, but yes kids are $$$$ so not in a position to swing it and by the time I will will likely be too old.
The one I have though is precious!

The same way you just complained? -np

Yep I was being annoying too. But it’s easier to skip a whole thread than a single post and I did want to express my yearning for a second child. Yearning is real! And it’s ok OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Jesus ladies!
Enjoy the family you have!
Stop with the pining!
Kids are $$$
If you don’t work you’re even more up the creek if your partner loses a job/leaves
Stay present. Give your current kids attention.
Find a hobby. Get fit. Read. Go back to school.
Your life is not just about your kids.
When they are older and have flown the nest
WHAT WILL YOU HAVE?
Is your only conversation topic your kids?
I am not a troll but these posts are so annoying.

Why do you read them then??? Never really understand why people complain about posts rather than just skipping. That is what is annoying.

As for me I’m yearning for a second, but yes kids are $$$$ so not in a position to swing it and by the time I will will likely be too old.
The one I have though is precious!

The same way you just complained? -np

Yep I was being annoying too. But it’s easier to skip a whole thread than a single post and I did want to express my yearning for a second child. Yearning is real! And it’s ok OP.

It’s easier to skip a single post, weirdo.