I think I hate kindergarten

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know you will rip me apart but I don’t even care. School starts next week and I know almost nothing about the logistics. Very little communication from the school. Parents of older kids say, “oh, it will work out.” Yes, I’m sure, but how hard would it be to tell me whether to send a snack or two? Or give me more details on how the day will look so I can prep my anxious child? Also, we are not allowed to pick up from school in the afternoon and highly discouraged from dropping off by car in the morning but the bus ride is an hour. I know I need to keep an open mind but I hate everything about this.

Be thankful your child gets kindergarten. Mine was in K during the covid year when everything was hybrid and virtual and they had to wear shields over their masks whencthey actually were there. And when they were there they had to sit at individual desks and werent allowed to play together. Essentially skipped a grade bc it really didnt happen, and showed up to first grade without any of the K fun or skills. I find all these new and incoming families to be so entitled not realizing how lucky they are that their 5 yr olds get to be 5 yr olds and get to start their elementary experience when things are back to "normal" again. Be grateful OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, it is a transition moving from getting a lot of communication to a little. That’s just the reality though at most public schools.

- Send a snack. Kinders will definitely have snack. After the first day, you will have an answer to that.
- I suggest trying the bus. Your kid has zero expectations. The bus ride may be long, but it’s another chance to make friends. If it turns out to be a bad experience, you can always go to a plan B.

Good luck!

Agree about the transition. I felt the same way OP, but this poster is right. I was used to preschool where we got newsletters with pictures every week, and had parents come in for activities once or twice a month. Then in K, it does feel like suddenly they tell you nothing. My son is in 5th grade now, so I'm used to it. You'll get used to it too.

When does school start? Has your child been to the school yet? My son was an anxious kid too. I drove by the school a lot and excitedly pointed out the playground to him, driving by the drop off area to show him where he'd be dropped off. Our school also encouraged a meeting with the principal, who showed us around.

[Anonymous]

There's a lot less communication in Kindergarten than preschool, but I always got handouts or a PPT or something that went through the logistics so that the teacher wasn't inundated with all the question. In a normal year it was a Kindergarten Orientation. It talked about the schedule, discipline, snacks, lunch, recess, etc. No orientation OP where all this gets discussed? No communication at all sent home to read on your own?

[Anonymous]

If your son has an IEP you can write almost anything into it, including that you want to drop him off and pick him up.

Pick up the phone and start calling. The principal, the school secretary, the social worker. Get your answers

You are in charge here, or can be. I am sorry, it is so frustrating when schools are clueless or just liars and take advantage of families like yours.

Is your DS in a special program? Will he have support in a gen Ed kindergarten class.

[Anonymous]

I’m not sure if you are still reading, OP, but I’d second the recommendation to post on the Kids with Special Needs board. Your child has an IEP, which means he deserves and should get a different approach. The folks on the special needs board have BTDT and can help you figure out who to contact and what words to use to navigate the system.

If your child does have a raging meltdown on the bus or at drop off things might (paradoxically) move faster. They will very quickly work with you to find ways to adjust the process. It won’t be pleasant for you or your son (or the teachers) but it is direct.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know you will rip me apart but I don’t even care. School starts next week and I know almost nothing about the logistics. Very little communication from the school. Parents of older kids say, “oh, it will work out.” Yes, I’m sure, but how hard would it be to tell me whether to send a snack or two? Or give me more details on how the day will look so I can prep my anxious child? Also, we are not allowed to pick up from school in the afternoon and highly discouraged from dropping off by car in the morning but the bus ride is an hour. I know I need to keep an open mind but I hate everything about this.

Be thankful your child gets kindergarten. Mine was in K during the covid year when everything was hybrid and virtual and they had to wear shields over their masks whencthey actually were there. And when they were there they had to sit at individual desks and werent allowed to play together. Essentially skipped a grade bc it really didnt happen, and showed up to first grade without any of the K fun or skills. I find all these new and incoming families to be so entitled not realizing how lucky they are that their 5 yr olds get to be 5 yr olds and get to start their elementary experience when things are back to "normal" again. Be grateful OP.

I had a kindergartner in the 2020-2021 school year too so I know where you’re coming from and I still feel upset about the way k went for my kid. It’s so unfair all they missed out on bc of the pandemic. However, I also have an incoming kindergartner this school year and can see OP’s point as well. It’s hard when you’re feeling anxious and the school/teacher doesn’t provide info. It makes the start of school—which is a huge transition!- more stressful than needed when you feel like you don’t have info.

OP, call the front office at the school and say you have specific questions you need answered. The secretary will help you out and direct you where needed. If that doesn’t work, try contacting the PTA president and ask them if they can help you out. They will have older kids and have been through this before and probably also know details about the school/teachers that could be helpful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. There is no kiss and ride in the afternoon. Kids have to ride the bus. We are not allowed to pick up in the afternoon. My son has raging meltdowns when he’s anxious. Good luck with that, school. If you had given me the tools to prep him, I would have gladly done so. I also do not think he will get out of the car at the morning drop off kiss and ride while I’m in the driver’s seat and a school employee he’s never met opens his door to help him get out. I think he will scream. So good luck with that.

I do know how you feel. But the school knows, from years of experience, that kids adapt well to the changes. That's why they don't feel the need to prepare you.

You'll also see that every morning there are a few kids at drop off who cry or refuse to get out of the car. This is normal and the school employees expect it and are prepared to handle it. They've had a hundred new kindergartners just like your son.

Tell your son what to expect at drop off, be cheerful and excited about it.

He'll adapt like every single other child in the history of kindergarten.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. There is no kiss and ride in the afternoon. Kids have to ride the bus. We are not allowed to pick up in the afternoon. My son has raging meltdowns when he’s anxious. Good luck with that, school. If you had given me the tools to prep him, I would have gladly done so. I also do not think he will get out of the car at the morning drop off kiss and ride while I’m in the driver’s seat and a school employee he’s never met opens his door to help him get out. I think he will scream. So good luck with that.

Pre-k teacher here. A good 1/4 of the class screams and cries for at least the first week. We can handle it. We have extra staff to help out in the beginning.

[Anonymous]

Do you have a neighborhood listserv or Nextdoor or school/district Facebook group? You may be able to get answers to some of these questions (at least the K snacks and typical schedule) from other parents.

My own school tends to overspend info (I get everything by some combo of phone, text, email, and app) but still leave out helpful things. But the school has an active Facebook group where other parents will share their experiences and it's really helpful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know you will rip me apart but I don’t even care. School starts next week and I know almost nothing about the logistics. Very little communication from the school. Parents of older kids say, “oh, it will work out.” Yes, I’m sure, but how hard would it be to tell me whether to send a snack or two? Or give me more details on how the day will look so I can prep my anxious child? Also, we are not allowed to pick up from school in the afternoon and highly discouraged from dropping off by car in the morning but the bus ride is an hour. I know I need to keep an open mind but I hate everything about this.

Be thankful your child gets kindergarten. Mine was in K during the covid year when everything was hybrid and virtual and they had to wear shields over their masks whencthey actually were there. And when they were there they had to sit at individual desks and werent allowed to play together. Essentially skipped a grade bc it really didnt happen, and showed up to first grade without any of the K fun or skills. I find all these new and incoming families to be so entitled not realizing how lucky they are that their 5 yr olds get to be 5 yr olds and get to start their elementary experience when things are back to "normal" again. Be grateful OP.

Nope, bad take. You having a bad experience does not mean other people are entitled for expecting better. Nobody needs to be grateful for poor service or for public services that don't meet their needs.

"Be grateful because I had a worse experience" just divides people who should be united in demanding better of schools. Plus, there's no bottom - you'll get someone on here saying "don't complain, at least you have a child" or "you're so entitled, our K didn't have enough desks" or whatever. Unhelpful.

[Anonymous]

What school district? They literally can’t tell you you can’t pick up your kids. Have you tried calling the office? If they aren’t getting you the info you need, pick up the phone and ask.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know you will rip me apart but I don’t even care. School starts next week and I know almost nothing about the logistics. Very little communication from the school. Parents of older kids say, “oh, it will work out.” Yes, I’m sure, but how hard would it be to tell me whether to send a snack or two? Or give me more details on how the day will look so I can prep my anxious child? Also, we are not allowed to pick up from school in the afternoon and highly discouraged from dropping off by car in the morning but the bus ride is an hour. I know I need to keep an open mind but I hate everything about this.

Be thankful your child gets kindergarten. Mine was in K during the covid year when everything was hybrid and virtual and they had to wear shields over their masks whencthey actually were there. And when they were there they had to sit at individual desks and werent allowed to play together. Essentially skipped a grade bc it really didnt happen, and showed up to first grade without any of the K fun or skills. I find all these new and incoming families to be so entitled not realizing how lucky they are that their 5 yr olds get to be 5 yr olds and get to start their elementary experience when things are back to "normal" again. Be grateful OP.

Nope, bad take. You having a bad experience does not mean other people are entitled for expecting better. Nobody needs to be grateful for poor service or for public services that don't meet their needs.

"Be grateful because I had a worse experience" just divides people who should be united in demanding better of schools. Plus, there's no bottom - you'll get someone on here saying "don't complain, at least you have a child" or "you're so entitled, our K didn't have enough desks" or whatever. Unhelpful.

The title is I think I hate Kindergarten. Those of us who had our sweet 5 yr olds on computers would give anything to have been able to send our kids to school where they can have fun, meet friends, etc. People who are entering the school system when all the covid restrictions are over should be grateful! Our kids only have one childhood and for some of us, half of their childhood was spent in masks and covid restrictions. Those who are just starting now when no one cares about covid anymore are lucky their kids and they can just be kids. However I do agree it is very odd that her child has an hour commute. I suppose OP registered for the school knowing that though. Also sucks that her child has anxiety- can only imagine how her child would have fared with anxiety in the covid kindergarten year. Prob much worse bc at least her child will have access to the school counselor if she needs it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m not sure if you are still reading, OP, but I’d second the recommendation to post on the Kids with Special Needs board. Your child has an IEP, which means he deserves and should get a different approach. The folks on the special needs board have BTDT and can help you figure out who to contact and what words to use to navigate the system.

If your child does have a raging meltdown on the bus or at drop off things might (paradoxically) move faster. They will very quickly work with you to find ways to adjust the process. It won’t be pleasant for you or your son (or the teachers) but it is direct.

This is helpful. Thank you. I can post there. It’s the special Ed bus that’s an hour long ride, and yes it’s in this area. I can drive him. But he’s not going to do well with the kiss and ride. And this is all so last minute. I’ve been pumping him up all summer for the bus and now I’m not sending him on the bus.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know you will rip me apart but I don’t even care. School starts next week and I know almost nothing about the logistics. Very little communication from the school. Parents of older kids say, “oh, it will work out.” Yes, I’m sure, but how hard would it be to tell me whether to send a snack or two? Or give me more details on how the day will look so I can prep my anxious child? Also, we are not allowed to pick up from school in the afternoon and highly discouraged from dropping off by car in the morning but the bus ride is an hour. I know I need to keep an open mind but I hate everything about this.

+1 I’m the same way. I want to know details to help my anxious child as well. People without anxious kids just don’t get it.

You’re not allowed to pick up in the afternoon? I’m pretty sure they can’t force your child onto the bus. Call the office and tell them you want to do kiss n ride. What school is this?!!!

I was your anxious child. My mom's anxiety about everything made me anxious since I didn't know how to process her anxiety. What does it mean? Why is she so worried? If she's an adult and can't manage all of this, how can I possibly manage this? I didn't understand it in those terms, it was more this impending sense of doom that followed everything, especially something new. It becomes a habit.

This is OP. Dear son, I am worried you will spit at the person who opens your car door in the morning at drop off, scream, and refuse to get out of the car. Does that help you process what I’m anxious about?

I’ve seen our principal have to wrestle a screaming kid out of the car at the kiss and rise before. They have probably seen it all and they can handle it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I say this kindly. But I would guess you are passing your own anxiety along to your kid. I get wanting to have an idea of what to expect, but I would also recognize your own anxiety and how it influences your child's behavior. GL.

+1. Deal with your own anxieties so you don’t make your kids an anxious person.

This! Please