I think I hate kindergarten

[Anonymous]

OP, we carried our anxious DS into his classroom for the first week of kindergarten. He was, years later, diagnosed with GAD and ADHD. Yes, you're being unreasonable with your anxiety, and maybe you are justified but it means the problem is with your DC, who may need accomodations, not with the school.

[Anonymous]

I’m sorry you’re feeling this way OP. Transitions are hard and the one to K/real school is a big one.
I would pack a snack. They may eat it, they may not. Just tell you child that you’re not sure so you are packing just in case. Tell them you’re sure the teacher will know what to do (instill confidence even if you’re not feeling it yet).
As for bus vs car, we tell parents to do what they would normally do. If your child is going to be a car rider every day, then do that. If they are not, then it is best to use their normal mode of transportation. This avoids you having more transition issues and gets them into their normal routine more quickly. I don’t know the particulars at your child’s school, but my guess is they are aiming for fewer tearful departures.
I hope this helps and that you get more information soon.
—K teacher

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know you will rip me apart but I don’t even care. School starts next week and I know almost nothing about the logistics. Very little communication from the school. Parents of older kids say, “oh, it will work out.” Yes, I’m sure, but how hard would it be to tell me whether to send a snack or two? Or give me more details on how the day will look so I can prep my anxious child? Also, we are not allowed to pick up from school in the afternoon and highly discouraged from dropping off by car in the morning but the bus ride is an hour. I know I need to keep an open mind but I hate everything about this.

+1 I’m the same way. I want to know details to help my anxious child as well. People without anxious kids just don’t get it.

You’re not allowed to pick up in the afternoon? I’m pretty sure they can’t force your child onto the bus. Call the office and tell them you want to do kiss n ride. What school is this?!!!

I was your anxious child. My mom's anxiety about everything made me anxious since I didn't know how to process her anxiety. What does it mean? Why is she so worried? If she's an adult and can't manage all of this, how can I possibly manage this? I didn't understand it in those terms, it was more this impending sense of doom that followed everything, especially something new. It becomes a habit.

This is OP. Dear son, I am worried you will spit at the person who opens your car door in the morning at drop off, scream, and refuse to get out of the car. Does that help you process what I’m anxious about?

OP, you should post on special needs. It sounds like you are not local, but if you are, let folks know the school, they can give you some advice. Is your son in a special needs program where he gets door to door pickup on the bus? In Moco, they prefer kids to take the bus in some cases because it helps establish a solid routine for the school day. Your son would have the same driver and bus helper everyday, so you wouldn't have to worry about the spitting at a random stranger thing as much. Kindergarten is a big change. I hope they year goes well for your little one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. There is no kiss and ride in the afternoon. Kids have to ride the bus. We are not allowed to pick up in the afternoon. My son has raging meltdowns when he’s anxious. Good luck with that, school. If you had given me the tools to prep him, I would have gladly done so. I also do not think he will get out of the car at the morning drop off kiss and ride while I’m in the driver’s seat and a school employee he’s never met opens his door to help him get out. I think he will scream. So good luck with that.

What crazy school system is this? You are allowed to pick up your child at anytime.

+1. Surely the school has walkers? There must be some option for those who wish to pick up their kid themselves.

[Anonymous]

K teacher back now that I see OP has added some
more information.
I would still recommend trying the drop off line if that’s what you are planning to do. If he has a meltdown, then the school needs to work with you and him to make some
accommodations. Do you think he will be ok if you are the one to unbuckle him and let him out of the car? Would he be more comfortable if they don’t talk to him? What if he brings an interesting item to facilitate conversation with the person? Brainstorm some ideas that might work.
As for being told you cannot pick up…they can’t do that. They can discourage, they can act put out by it, but they can’t deny you custody of your child if you show up to pick up. Again, if this is your planned routine then I say do it. Consider picking him up about 20 minutes before the end of the day so as to minimize disruptions to the dismissal routine.
I am very sorry that you’re struggling with this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. There is no kiss and ride in the afternoon. Kids have to ride the bus. We are not allowed to pick up in the afternoon. My son has raging meltdowns when he’s anxious. Good luck with that, school. If you had given me the tools to prep him, I would have gladly done so. I also do not think he will get out of the car at the morning drop off kiss and ride while I’m in the driver’s seat and a school employee he’s never met opens his door to help him get out. I think he will scream. So good luck with that.

What crazy school system is this? You are allowed to pick up your child at anytime.

+1. Surely the school has walkers? There must be some option for those who wish to pick up their kid themselves.

My local school has no walkers. It is bus and drop off only. I'm not the op.

OP, you have anxiety. You need to get your anxiety under control so you may help your kid. Your kid at this age has many resources that the school can provide. You can get a 504 plan for your child's anxiety.

If the bus ride is 1 hour I woul drop my kid off and pick my kid up myself. What will the school do if you ignore? He's required to be there.

[Anonymous]

What ES has an hour long bus ride? That does not sound like a local neighborhood school in the DC area. Is this a school you choose?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. There is no kiss and ride in the afternoon. Kids have to ride the bus. We are not allowed to pick up in the afternoon. My son has raging meltdowns when he’s anxious. Good luck with that, school. If you had given me the tools to prep him, I would have gladly done so. I also do not think he will get out of the car at the morning drop off kiss and ride while I’m in the driver’s seat and a school employee he’s never met opens his door to help him get out. I think he will scream. So good luck with that.

can u park and walk and get him? I don’t understand how they can force the bus? I wouldn’t want to do that either.

[Anonymous]

When was the K orientation? Did you miss it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know you will rip me apart but I don’t even care. School starts next week and I know almost nothing about the logistics. Very little communication from the school. Parents of older kids say, “oh, it will work out.” Yes, I’m sure, but how hard would it be to tell me whether to send a snack or two? Or give me more details on how the day will look so I can prep my anxious child? Also, we are not allowed to pick up from school in the afternoon and highly discouraged from dropping off by car in the morning but the bus ride is an hour. I know I need to keep an open mind but I hate everything about this.

+1 I’m the same way. I want to know details to help my anxious child as well. People without anxious kids just don’t get it.

You’re not allowed to pick up in the afternoon? I’m pretty sure they can’t force your child onto the bus. Call the office and tell them you want to do kiss n ride. What school is this?!!!

I was your anxious child. My mom's anxiety about everything made me anxious since I didn't know how to process her anxiety. What does it mean? Why is she so worried? If she's an adult and can't manage all of this, how can I possibly manage this? I didn't understand it in those terms, it was more this impending sense of doom that followed everything, especially something new. It becomes a habit.

It sounds like your son is special needs and if this is the case yea there should be more of a game plan/ IEP in place. Contact the school

This is OP. Dear son, I am worried you will spit at the person who opens your car door in the morning at drop off, scream, and refuse to get out of the car. Does that help you process what I’m anxious about?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I say this kindly. But I would guess you are passing your own anxiety along to your kid. I get wanting to have an idea of what to expect, but I would also recognize your own anxiety and how it influences your child's behavior. GL.

I agree with this. Your child sees how you are acting. Be mindful.

[Anonymous]

Why is your child going to a school that requires an hour long bus ride? Where is this? Rethink if this is truly his best option

[Anonymous]

They can’t force your kid to ride the bus home. Parents are allowed to pick up their kids from school. I don’t care what school this is. It’s school; not prison. You are always allowed to pick up your own child. They may not like it. They may make it difficult for you. But you can pick him up.

Pack 2 snacks. If he doesn’t wind up eating them at school, he can have them on the ride home.

I agree w you that the school/teacher should communicate better, esp w k students/parents. Can you email the teacher directly and ask about some of this? Or call the school secretary and ask how best to get the answers to your questions and they can direct you to either a teacher, administrator, or maybe tell you themself.

[Anonymous]

What county is this. At our school they encouraged the parents of kindergarteners to drop off and pick up. There was a separate entrance for the kindergartens.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tao make you feel better?
Take your little one by car anyway. An hour on a bus is too long for a 5 year old.
Send two snacks (nut free) just in case. Can’t hurt.
Read books to your child about the start of K. There are so many- we have ‘Twas the Night before Kindergarten.
If your child wants to know what will happen give a vague universal-to-all-kindergartens schedule. There will be circle time, snack time, play time. You’ll meet other children! You will learn letters/words/numbers/counting.
Act excited and happy around child even if you want to scream at the disorganization. And it’s ok to be irritated by that too- why can’t they inform parents of basic logistics? It’s a legitimate irritation. That said, it probably won’t change, so accept and move on.

+1. It is annoying, OP, that some people/organizations don’t know to communicate basic details. There is no reason you should not have this information.

However, as PP says, just work around it. Good luck!