I think I hate kindergarten

[Anonymous]

I know you will rip me apart but I don’t even care. School starts next week and I know almost nothing about the logistics. Very little communication from the school. Parents of older kids say, “oh, it will work out.” Yes, I’m sure, but how hard would it be to tell me whether to send a snack or two? Or give me more details on how the day will look so I can prep my anxious child? Also, we are not allowed to pick up from school in the afternoon and highly discouraged from dropping off by car in the morning but the bus ride is an hour. I know I need to keep an open mind but I hate everything about this.

[Anonymous]

OP, I say this kindly. But I would guess you are passing your own anxiety along to your kid. I get wanting to have an idea of what to expect, but I would also recognize your own anxiety and how it influences your child's behavior. GL.

[Anonymous]

Just send a snack! If they don’t have snack time, child can have it as a snack after school. Problem solved.

I think as a parent you just need to know drop off and pick up times. This is now your child’s experience and space. It may not go smoothly the first day but this will teach your kid to be flexible. Life isn’t smooth all the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know you will rip me apart but I don’t even care. School starts next week and I know almost nothing about the logistics. Very little communication from the school. Parents of older kids say, “oh, it will work out.” Yes, I’m sure, but how hard would it be to tell me whether to send a snack or two? Or give me more details on how the day will look so I can prep my anxious child? Also, we are not allowed to pick up from school in the afternoon and highly discouraged from dropping off by car in the morning but the bus ride is an hour. I know I need to keep an open mind but I hate everything about this.

+1 I’m the same way. I want to know details to help my anxious child as well. People without anxious kids just don’t get it.

You’re not allowed to pick up in the afternoon? I’m pretty sure they can’t force your child onto the bus. Call the office and tell them you want to do kiss n ride. What school is this?!!!

[Anonymous]

Go online and figure it out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I say this kindly. But I would guess you are passing your own anxiety along to your kid. I get wanting to have an idea of what to expect, but I would also recognize your own anxiety and how it influences your child's behavior. GL.

+1. Deal with your own anxieties so you don’t make your kids an anxious person.

[Anonymous]

OP, it is a transition moving from getting a lot of communication to a little. That’s just the reality though at most public schools.

- Send a snack. Kinders will definitely have snack. After the first day, you will have an answer to that.
- I suggest trying the bus. Your kid has zero expectations. The bus ride may be long, but it’s another chance to make friends. If it turns out to be a bad experience, you can always go to a plan B.

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know you will rip me apart but I don’t even care. School starts next week and I know almost nothing about the logistics. Very little communication from the school. Parents of older kids say, “oh, it will work out.” Yes, I’m sure, but how hard would it be to tell me whether to send a snack or two? Or give me more details on how the day will look so I can prep my anxious child? Also, we are not allowed to pick up from school in the afternoon and highly discouraged from dropping off by car in the morning but the bus ride is an hour. I know I need to keep an open mind but I hate everything about this.

+1 I’m the same way. I want to know details to help my anxious child as well. People without anxious kids just don’t get it.

You’re not allowed to pick up in the afternoon? I’m pretty sure they can’t force your child onto the bus. Call the office and tell them you want to do kiss n ride. What school is this?!!!

I was your anxious child. My mom's anxiety about everything made me anxious since I didn't know how to process her anxiety. What does it mean? Why is she so worried? If she's an adult and can't manage all of this, how can I possibly manage this? I didn't understand it in those terms, it was more this impending sense of doom that followed everything, especially something new. It becomes a habit.

[Anonymous]

This is OP. There is no kiss and ride in the afternoon. Kids have to ride the bus. We are not allowed to pick up in the afternoon. My son has raging meltdowns when he’s anxious. Good luck with that, school. If you had given me the tools to prep him, I would have gladly done so. I also do not think he will get out of the car at the morning drop off kiss and ride while I’m in the driver’s seat and a school employee he’s never met opens his door to help him get out. I think he will scream. So good luck with that.

[Anonymous]

Tao make you feel better?
Take your little one by car anyway. An hour on a bus is too long for a 5 year old.
Send two snacks (nut free) just in case. Can’t hurt.
Read books to your child about the start of K. There are so many- we have ‘Twas the Night before Kindergarten.
If your child wants to know what will happen give a vague universal-to-all-kindergartens schedule. There will be circle time, snack time, play time. You’ll meet other children! You will learn letters/words/numbers/counting.
Act excited and happy around child even if you want to scream at the disorganization. And it’s ok to be irritated by that too- why can’t they inform parents of basic logistics? It’s a legitimate irritation. That said, it probably won’t change, so accept and move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know you will rip me apart but I don’t even care. School starts next week and I know almost nothing about the logistics. Very little communication from the school. Parents of older kids say, “oh, it will work out.” Yes, I’m sure, but how hard would it be to tell me whether to send a snack or two? Or give me more details on how the day will look so I can prep my anxious child? Also, we are not allowed to pick up from school in the afternoon and highly discouraged from dropping off by car in the morning but the bus ride is an hour. I know I need to keep an open mind but I hate everything about this.

+1 I’m the same way. I want to know details to help my anxious child as well. People without anxious kids just don’t get it.

You’re not allowed to pick up in the afternoon? I’m pretty sure they can’t force your child onto the bus. Call the office and tell them you want to do kiss n ride. What school is this?!!!

I was your anxious child. My mom's anxiety about everything made me anxious since I didn't know how to process her anxiety. What does it mean? Why is she so worried? If she's an adult and can't manage all of this, how can I possibly manage this? I didn't understand it in those terms, it was more this impending sense of doom that followed everything, especially something new. It becomes a habit.

This is OP. Dear son, I am worried you will spit at the person who opens your car door in the morning at drop off, scream, and refuse to get out of the car. Does that help you process what I’m anxious about?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. There is no kiss and ride in the afternoon. Kids have to ride the bus. We are not allowed to pick up in the afternoon. My son has raging meltdowns when he’s anxious. Good luck with that, school. If you had given me the tools to prep him, I would have gladly done so. I also do not think he will get out of the car at the morning drop off kiss and ride while I’m in the driver’s seat and a school employee he’s never met opens his door to help him get out. I think he will scream. So good luck with that.

What crazy school system is this? You are allowed to pick up your child at anytime.

[Anonymous]

An hour bus ride each way for a Kindergartener is unreasonable. If that is the only option I would drive my child if possible, regardless of whether it is encouraged or not. Then you can do the kiss and ride line (if your child is still in a car seat, practice with them so they can quickly buckle and unbuckle themselves) or plan to park about a block away and walk them to the front entrance. Most schools have older kids as patrols who will get your child to where they need to be. Pack 2 snacks just in case - in a separate bag from their lunch so your child knows it is their snack bag. Pack only food and drinks that your child can open by themselves. Do not expect that adult will be able to help them. Same with clothes and shoes - they need to be able to button/unbutton etc independently in what they wear to school. Greet your child with a snack the moment they get in the car or home after school. They likely will be hungry. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tao make you feel better?
Take your little one by car anyway. An hour on a bus is too long for a 5 year old.
Send two snacks (nut free) just in case. Can’t hurt.
Read books to your child about the start of K. There are so many- we have ‘Twas the Night before Kindergarten.
If your child wants to know what will happen give a vague universal-to-all-kindergartens schedule. There will be circle time, snack time, play time. You’ll meet other children! You will learn letters/words/numbers/counting.
Act excited and happy around child even if you want to scream at the disorganization. And it’s ok to be irritated by that too- why can’t they inform parents of basic logistics? It’s a legitimate irritation. That said, it probably won’t change, so accept and move on.

OP. Thank you. We’ve read all the books. He’s also read social stories at OT. We’ve done what we can with the info we have, but I’m getting increasingly angry that there’s so little info. We probably should have gone to a private school, even though it’s financially out of reach, because there would have been someone to ask questions. DS has an IEP. I thought that would be sufficient.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know you will rip me apart but I don’t even care. School starts next week and I know almost nothing about the logistics. Very little communication from the school. Parents of older kids say, “oh, it will work out.” Yes, I’m sure, but how hard would it be to tell me whether to send a snack or two? Or give me more details on how the day will look so I can prep my anxious child? Also, we are not allowed to pick up from school in the afternoon and highly discouraged from dropping off by car in the morning but the bus ride is an hour. I know I need to keep an open mind but I hate everything about this.

+1 I’m the same way. I want to know details to help my anxious child as well. People without anxious kids just don’t get it.

You’re not allowed to pick up in the afternoon? I’m pretty sure they can’t force your child onto the bus. Call the office and tell them you want to do kiss n ride. What school is this?!!!

I was your anxious child. My mom's anxiety about everything made me anxious since I didn't know how to process her anxiety. What does it mean? Why is she so worried? If she's an adult and can't manage all of this, how can I possibly manage this? I didn't understand it in those terms, it was more this impending sense of doom that followed everything, especially something new. It becomes a habit.

This is OP. Dear son, I am worried you will spit at the person who opens your car door in the morning at drop off, scream, and refuse to get out of the car. Does that help you process what I’m anxious about?

Well, OP, this is different than simply stating your son is anxious. He is melting down due to anxiety. I think you'd get different answers if you mentioned this part. And your sharpness in reply implies you are melting down a bit too.

That said, it sounds like an untenable situation that you are attempting to find solutions to. The school sounds unreasonable and I can't imagine any kinder would be expected to ride a bus for that long. Good luck to you, and I hope you find solutions.