Can I be a surrogate for a friend if I had complicated past pregnancies?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So…you want to leave your spouse a widow, your children motherless, and present your friend with a premature baby with significant health issues— probably lifelong— in order to prove what precisely?

Because all you’re proving here is that you are an unfit parent as it is.

There are super empathetic people in this world who have no boundaries. Cut her some slack.

[Anonymous]

I had my baby via surrogate and the OP is completely off her rocker.

[Anonymous]

You will still have to medically screened by the IVF clinic regardless of whether you go through sn agency or not. You will be disqualified immediately when they look at your chart.

[Anonymous]

I think this is so nice of you to consider, but as someone with a history of severe post partum pre-eclampsia, and in the nicest way possible, you cannot be serious.

My doctors have said I can have more kids if I want but I absolutely would NEVER put myself in that situation. Ever. In addition to the physical issues, pre-e messed with my brain, too.

Try to find another way to support your friend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think this is so nice of you to consider, but as someone with a history of severe post partum pre-eclampsia, and in the nicest way possible, you cannot be serious.

My doctors have said I can have more kids if I want but I absolutely would NEVER put myself in that situation. Ever. In addition to the physical issues, pre-e messed with my brain, too.

Try to find another way to support your friend.

There are doctors out there who like medically complicated patients because it makes their colleagues $$$$$$$$. I think it is dubious to transfer 2 embryos unless they are crappy quality but that happens all of the time. Anyway, this is why informed consent, doing your own research and second opinions are a thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So…you want to leave your spouse a widow, your children motherless, and present your friend with a premature baby with significant health issues— probably lifelong— in order to prove what precisely?

Because all you’re proving here is that you are an unfit parent as it is.

There are super empathetic people in this world who have no boundaries. Cut her some slack.

Where is her empathy for her own children?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So…you want to leave your spouse a widow, your children motherless, and present your friend with a premature baby with significant health issues— probably lifelong— in order to prove what precisely?

Because all you’re proving here is that you are an unfit parent as it is.

There are super empathetic people in this world who have no boundaries. Cut her some slack.

Where is her empathy for her own children?

Shes asking a question, she didn't put her kids in a bathtub then step out to smoke a blunt

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not with a history of preclempsia

This.

My cousin had 4 easy pregnancies. She had to stop after her fifth because that one she developed pre-e and it progressed and almost killed her. She had a preterm c-section and weeks in the hospital. Even now, 14 years later her kidneys are really messed up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not with a history of preclempsia

This.

My cousin had 4 easy pregnancies. She had to stop after her fifth because that one she developed pre-e and it progressed and almost killed her. She had a preterm c-section and weeks in the hospital. Even now, 14 years later her kidneys are really messed up.

Was the 5th with a new partner?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think this is so nice of you to consider, but as someone with a history of severe post partum pre-eclampsia, and in the nicest way possible, you cannot be serious.

My doctors have said I can have more kids if I want but I absolutely would NEVER put myself in that situation. Ever. In addition to the physical issues, pre-e messed with my brain, too.

Try to find another way to support your friend.

There are doctors out there who like medically complicated patients because it makes their colleagues $$$$$$$$. I think it is dubious to transfer 2 embryos unless they are crappy quality but that happens all of the time. Anyway, this is why informed consent, doing your own research and second opinions are a thing.

Yes, fair. To be clear: my doctors don’t encourage more kids but they have said it’s something I could do. Which is true. They do not seem enthusiastic at the prospect and I don’t want more kids anyway so it’s not like we’ve gone into a ton of detail.

But no way would I ever be allowed to be a surrogate despite two healthy babies born full term vaginally, and no flippin’ way would I ever advocate for myself to be one no matter how much I loved the parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not with a history of preclempsia

This.

My cousin had 4 easy pregnancies. She had to stop after her fifth because that one she developed pre-e and it progressed and almost killed her. She had a preterm c-section and weeks in the hospital. Even now, 14 years later her kidneys are really messed up.

Was the 5th with a new partner?

1-3 with 1st H, 4-5 with 2nd H.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think this is so nice of you to consider, but as someone with a history of severe post partum pre-eclampsia, and in the nicest way possible, you cannot be serious.

My doctors have said I can have more kids if I want but I absolutely would NEVER put myself in that situation. Ever. In addition to the physical issues, pre-e messed with my brain, too.

Try to find another way to support your friend.

There are doctors out there who like medically complicated patients because it makes their colleagues $$$$$$$$. I think it is dubious to transfer 2 embryos unless they are crappy quality but that happens all of the time. Anyway, this is why informed consent, doing your own research and second opinions are a thing.

Yes, fair. To be clear: my doctors don’t encourage more kids but they have said it’s something I could do. Which is true. They do not seem enthusiastic at the prospect and I don’t want more kids anyway so it’s not like we’ve gone into a ton of detail.

But no way would I ever be allowed to be a surrogate despite two healthy babies born full term vaginally, and no flippin’ way would I ever advocate for myself to be one no matter how much I loved the parents.

I had a doctor offer me a VBAC with less than 1mm residual myometrium, 15% uterine rupture risk (maybe more). Oh, and he didn't tell me it was that thin. I could tell from his body language he was a BS artist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think this is so nice of you to consider, but as someone with a history of severe post partum pre-eclampsia, and in the nicest way possible, you cannot be serious.

My doctors have said I can have more kids if I want but I absolutely would NEVER put myself in that situation. Ever. In addition to the physical issues, pre-e messed with my brain, too.

Try to find another way to support your friend.

There are doctors out there who like medically complicated patients because it makes their colleagues $$$$$$$$. I think it is dubious to transfer 2 embryos unless they are crappy quality but that happens all of the time. Anyway, this is why informed consent, doing your own research and second opinions are a thing.

Yes, fair. To be clear: my doctors don’t encourage more kids but they have said it’s something I could do. Which is true. They do not seem enthusiastic at the prospect and I don’t want more kids anyway so it’s not like we’ve gone into a ton of detail.

But no way would I ever be allowed to be a surrogate despite two healthy babies born full term vaginally, and no flippin’ way would I ever advocate for myself to be one no matter how much I loved the parents.

I had a doctor offer me a VBAC with less than 1mm residual myometrium, 15% uterine rupture risk (maybe more). Oh, and he didn't tell me it was that thin. I could tell from his body language he was a BS artist.

Terrifying.

[Anonymous]

Absolutely not OP. Your friend already has a child, and this pregnancy would significantly risk your own health. You have a duty to your children to stay healthy, not to a theoretical second child for your friend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think this is so nice of you to consider, but as someone with a history of severe post partum pre-eclampsia, and in the nicest way possible, you cannot be serious.

My doctors have said I can have more kids if I want but I absolutely would NEVER put myself in that situation. Ever. In addition to the physical issues, pre-e messed with my brain, too.

Try to find another way to support your friend.

There are doctors out there who like medically complicated patients because it makes their colleagues $$$$$$$$. I think it is dubious to transfer 2 embryos unless they are crappy quality but that happens all of the time. Anyway, this is why informed consent, doing your own research and second opinions are a thing.

Yes, fair. To be clear: my doctors don’t encourage more kids but they have said it’s something I could do. Which is true. They do not seem enthusiastic at the prospect and I don’t want more kids anyway so it’s not like we’ve gone into a ton of detail.

But no way would I ever be allowed to be a surrogate despite two healthy babies born full term vaginally, and no flippin’ way would I ever advocate for myself to be one no matter how much I loved the parents.

I had a doctor offer me a VBAC with less than 1mm residual myometrium, 15% uterine rupture risk (maybe more). Oh, and he didn't tell me it was that thin. I could tell from his body language he was a BS artist.

Seems off topic, but I think doctors around here likely now feel like they have to offer VBACs? What you saw as "bullshit artist" body language may have been him trying to suss out if you were one of those moms who was going to get super offended if he just said "I recommend a c-section" out of the gate.