Can I be a surrogate for a friend if I had complicated past pregnancies?

[Anonymous]

My dearest friend has been having the worst time getting/staying pregnant. She has a healthy 4yo who was conceived naturally within two months and has been trying for baby #2 for 3.5 years. They have depleted their savings, maxed out a credit card, and my heart just breaks for her. I would be willing to be a surrogate for them as she has mentioned they cannot afford one. The issue is I have had very complicated pregnancies. I know I wouldn't qualify as a surrogate for a stranger through an agency, but can friends elect to do this on their own?

Pregnancy 1:
HG
Placenta previa
Pre-ecclampsia
Healthy baby at 39 weeks

Pregnancy 2:
HG
Placenta previa
Cholestasis
Pre-ecclampsia
Healthy baby at 35+6 (No NICU)

[Anonymous]

The thing about pre-eclampsia is it can get worse as you get older. My mom had it much earlier with my younger sister than she did with me. I really don't think this is a good idea.

[Anonymous]

NO.

Your friend already has a naturally conceived biological child. It's the HEIGHT of greed to ask a surrogate to risk her life to bear her another child. You've had serious complications twice before. You really shouldn't get pregnant again.

I assume you're a troll, OP, because no one would be this moronic.

[Anonymous]

Are you serious? The answer is absolutely not.

[Anonymous]

Not with a history of preclempsia

[Anonymous]

Very dicey. I had pre-e with my first (and only) and it nearly killed me as a healthy 26yo. Be there for her in other ways.

[Anonymous]

Absolutely not.

[Anonymous]

Don’t do it. Dangerous and heartbreaking for both of you.

[Anonymous]

And risk leaving your children motherless?!

[Anonymous]

Is your husband will you let you die for your friend? You are very high risk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:NO.

Your friend already has a naturally conceived biological child. It's the HEIGHT of greed to ask a surrogate to risk her life to bear her another child. You've had serious complications twice before. You really shouldn't get pregnant again.

I assume you're a troll, OP, because no one would be this moronic.

The only sensible advice. +1

[Anonymous]

Are you willing to die to give her a baby? That is the risk you would be taking given that history. Then your kids would be without a mother.

[Anonymous]

Just want to add...as someone who is one-and-done, WHY do people put their lives at risk when they already have one or more healthy children??? The perfectionist vision of your Thanksgiving table 20 years from now is not worth it! There are so so many great things about just having one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is your husband will you let you die for your friend? You are very high risk.

He could knock her up again too. Would you be as judgey then?

[Anonymous]

I wouldn’t want you to be my surrogate if I were desperate for a child beyond all belief and you PAID me to let you. I don’t want my baby born via c section at 27 weeks because my surrogate had severe pre-e . I’m assuming you’re a troll but NO doctor is going to allow this. Your only option would be to have sex with her husband since you don’t need a doctor assist for that.