Am I doing my 5yo a disservice by not having him in activities?
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Anonymous
Be careful. Your kid might not know to "ask" you bc he might not have that logic of knowing there are options available. As parents - yes, we know low key rec league is available, how to find a nearby art class, read the email about after school running club, etc but a 5 -yr old may not know these things exist or even realize options for him. Fwiw, my Kindrrg was sad after school 1 day last year and days later when she finally opened up she told me a bunch of classmates got to go to soccer after school that day and wanted to go too. My DD didn't realize she could do it too - mom guilt for not offering her choices and re-visit said choices to double check....throwing that out there as a thought. |
Anonymous
This is the best post! Let elementary and junior high kids be kids and have fun..it's bad enough when adults think older kids are less deserving of fun, but younger kids? No just let him be a kid. |
Anonymous
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No. It’s better for kids not to be in structured activities before age of 7.
https://www.edweek.org/teaching-learning/study-too-many-structured-activities-may-hinder-childrens-executive-functioning/2014/07?fbclid=IwAR1TQlJckfXLFd3y-dHSuXZl6Jb1ql2M1YqG_YR98bFoXZFqwvaUWJyADlA I might make an exception if my child really wanted to do something but absent that will not be signing her up for any. |
Anonymous
No. It's better for kids not to be overwhelmed with structured activities. Nothing there says that rec soccer with 1 practice and 1 game per week is going to hinder your kid. |
Anonymous
My 9 year old just started playing soccer rec league this spring. He'd never played on a team before, but he decided he wanted to play. Was he the worst player on the team at the start? Yes, because all the other kids had more experience and he had none. But he definitely improved over the course of the season, and asked to go to soccer camp this summer where he learned a lot of skills and gained much more experience. With this experience, I'm not thinking of high school sports, I'm thinking of him learning to try something new and putting himself out there. I'm thinking of him entering a situation where others know more than him, but he perseveres and still enjoys himself. I'm thinking of him learning to be part of a team, of him learning life skills, not getting a college scholarship. Like PP said, your kid is enjoying being five! |
Anonymous
| I think the key is balance. You want your child to have a balanced life with time for school, activities and then time for themselves. Time to fill as the wish. Time that they have to figure out how to fill. So many middle and high school students have anxiety disorders and I believe it is due in large part because so many of them are never still. Never at rest. Never have the opportunity to exercise autonomy in even the smallest sense. Then they get to middle or high school and they are expected to make and execute choices with no experience. The point of play for young children isn't just exercise and gross motor skill development. It is about making choices, what to do, how to do it, what are the rules... and it is about learning their limits. We are doing such a grave disservice to this generation all in the name of 'success' or 'learning'. Balance is key to everything. How you eat, how you work, how you live. |
Anonymous
This may be true for rec sports but once your kid does travel, you'll see how close they become with those friends. FWIW--my kid is on a competitive travel team in a sport they'd never tried till 3rd grade. Sports are good but sitting out K year is fine. |
Anonymous
It will also ensure that your kid has no friends who aren’t travel sport friends which makes for a dull kid and locks them into that activity. It also ensures that the family builds their life around the kid and their activities which is oh so healthy. Oh and if you have another child they will have to: join the same sport (for efficiency sake), be dragged every weekend to their siblings activity or grow up with a family that is rarely together as a unit because of Larla’s travel team (especially if child #2 chooses a different path). |
Anonymous
Yeah. This is correct. It's probably fine for now, at K. But I wouldn't let it last 2 long. Because before too long, he'll bein 3rd or 4th, and his self-identity will be the kid that doesnt play sports or doesnt play an instrument. And they'll be reluctant to try. It's not that they need to be EXPERT in figure skating by 10yo, but more that we need to create the willingness to try new things. And a willingness to accept that you usually have to suck at something before you're any good at it. That is the skill we're developing at this age. Not necessarily how to sink a free throw, or how to play violin. We're teaching courage in trying new things |
Anonymous
| Yes kids age out of playground in the next few years. |
Anonymous
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I think it's fine to let it go and see how he settles in to kindergarten. Agree with PP that having something in the winter (indoor swimming could be great and get him ready for pools in the summer) once he's a bit more settled and going to the playground is less fun would make sense.
I would just keep asking him, and trying different things that don't require much commitment to see if something clicks. Maybe he'll like playing an instrument, or martial arts, or bowling, or Scouts, or dance, or fishing, or pottery. Next summer you could try to put him in a day camp that does lots of different activities and base 1st grade activities off of what he enjoyed. Is this the recipe for an Olympian or a piano prodigy? Probably not. But it seems a lot calmer, cheaper, and happier than your other options at this point so I'd go with it. |
Anonymous
What does aging out of a playground have to do with anything? |
Anonymous
| Although some activities seem to require starting early to get really good at them (playing an instrument, soccer, etc.) there are a lot of things where people don't generally start until they're a little older, like squash, rowing, or choral singing. And there are plenty of hobbies where it doesn't really matter if you're in the upper echelon. Like if your kid takes up knitting at age 13 and enjoys it, who cares if he's a great knitter or an average one? |
Anonymous
I think PP was saying that OP's kid might not feel the same way (wanting to go to the playground rather than be in structured activities) in a few years. But that doesn't change the advice for OP now--it's fine to let your kid go to the playground now and do something else in a few years. |
Anonymous
And honestly, most of these highly scheduled kids aren't going to be prodigies or Olympians. It's good for him to try some new things, but you don't need a ton of structured activities to do that. Frankly, the opposite is sometimes true. The kids who have lots of scheduled commitments don't have the time to try other things. Swim lessons are important, because if he's going to be near water, he needs basic skills. |