Am I doing my 5yo a disservice by not having him in activities?

[Anonymous]

I realize this Q may sound troll-ish given the dcum persona of the kid with 27 activities - but it’s a real question.

My rising K son has tried soccer, an art class, baseball, and ninja over the last couple years. He’s liked it all while doing it but when I ask him if he wants to re-enroll he says no thanks. He prefers open afternoons to go to the playground, go on bike rides, work on puzzles, play with brothers etc. With K starting I’m thinking about just not enrolling him in anything since it’ll be the first time he’s in full time school and really feels like so much of his time is already structured with school that after school activities would give him no time left to play.

But I worry I’m doing him a disservice for 2 reasons:
1) opportunity to make friends over a shared activity and have friendships beyond school
2) setting him up to miss out on being “good” at any sport bc he started too late. I realize that kind of sounds crazy, but is it? He had a little natural talent for soccer but if he doesn’t play again until 7 or 8 or something won’t he be basically way behind eveyone playing soccer at 7 or 8? I see 3yos taking tennis lessons, if he started at 10 is he resigned to the bumpkin level and no chance of playing in HS? I already feel like he’s kind of behind in sports bc there are some kids that basically start year round so young (and have a parent that plays with them a ton which we can’t) but I don’t want to entirely miss the boat and make it so he can’t play at a reasonable level something he enjoys down the road

Not looking for a broader commentary if kids sports in generally have gone horribly crazy, really just want to make sure that he will be able to play a HS sport if he enjoys it versus being too far behind bc I started him too late

[Anonymous]

Totally fine! Kindergarten was a big adjustment for all of my kids from going from part time to all day school. They were exhausted!!! All of my kids have sat out of sports during Kindergarten. You can see by spring and summer their energy levels returned to handle a bit more.

Enjoy those parks and free days! These are the best!

[Anonymous]

Seems like you have a happy, healthy child.

[Anonymous]

What is he naturally interested in? He doesn’t have to do sports.

My 5yo daughter tried soccer, but didn’t enjoy it. She’s in ballet and swim lessons. She’ll start piano lessons in the fall, though that will be at school. She enjoys dancing, singing, art, etc. so we just follow what she’s interested in.

[Anonymous]

Maybe in kindergarten he'll want to sign up for something his friends are doing. If not, no big deal. I remember a girl when my kids were in HS who walked on the varsity girls basketball team even though she had never played in an organized game in her life. She was just that talented.

[Anonymous]

Oops to answer your question yes, he will be able to play a high school sport if he sits out one year. I would t sit out more than a year though. Also best to stick to one sport and not bounce around sports looking for the right fit ifor high school sports.

I did this also with my kids and while they can play 4 different sports well, they do not excel in just one well enough for high school probably. Idk.

[Anonymous]

I have 2 kids who are pretty serious athletes in middle school. They play on top teams, and consistently start. Other than going to the pool with me to swim, neither did official sports in K. The day was long enough.

[Anonymous]

Yeah, to be honest I would say you’re putting him at a disadvantage. But that said, do I ultimately think it will be okay? Yes.

[Anonymous]

I think at 5 follow his lead. K is a huge change. My kids both ask for activities (dance/ice skating more for one and sports for the other) and we limit them because of our own time and feeling they need some less scheduled time. I feel the same concerns about them getting behind or missing the chance to try something (more with dance/gymnastics than sports honestly) but you can’t do everything.

Do make sure he can swim. That’s a life skill not an activity.

[Anonymous]

I think it’s totally fine for the K year when the child is already adjusting to full time school. But I wouldn’t keep up a no-activity schedule for much longer than that.

I also agree that learning to swim is non negotiable.

[Anonymous]

Kids are so overscheduled these days in anticipation of their performance ten years or more down the road. Offer activities and let him choose what to go deeper with. His curiosity and interest will become more clear over the next few years. Early elementary and camps give them lots to try out. Maybe try one sport if they enjoy it, but don’t push anything. He sounds like pretty self aware small human. He’ll tell you.

[Anonymous]

At 5, he can enroll in a sport with practice being two days a week. It does not have to be a serious competitive sport. He will still get some free time after school and the practices are not long at that age. Children will not know what they like unless you expose them to it. So, expose him.

[Anonymous]

It sounds like he’s having a great time being five. Good job!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like he’s having a great time being five. Good job!

+1 this used to be normal! Sucks how much has changed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like he’s having a great time being five. Good job!

+100