Am I doing my 5yo a disservice by not having him in activities?
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Anonymous
+2 OP - you're doing a great job. Way to go listening to your kid and there is PLENTY of time to find and develop interests over time. It may not be soccer (honestly it's so competitive and intense in this area you may not WANT it to be soccer, but if you did there are still plenty of opportunities starting at say 7). I think it's really not the reality as much as it feels like it, that most kids are going to find what they like at 5 and stick with it. So carry on op! |
Anonymous
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I don't think it's an issue at all to keep a 5 year old out of activities. My kids have never made lasting friendships from sports teams. They are friendly and play with others during the season, but we've never carried that relationship beyond the team. I don't think sports teams are good for making lasting friends in this area.
Regarding talent, you could sit out one year and be fine. But, yes, you will be behind other kids who play continuously. But, at that age, if he starts playing again next year, and he is truly somewhat talented, he'll pick it back up really easy. I think you have until about age 9 to try different sports before needing to stick with one if you intend to try and make high school teams. |
Anonymous
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He might change his mind later on once he's established/gotten used to kindergarten, seeing his neighborhood friends leave for the local rec league soccer practice (rec league soccer teams are based on your neighb/base school so familiar faces and it's fun and low key and communal), and feeling restless going to the same playground after school, and such .
Follow his cues. If he's content with free play, great. If he starts to kinda want/need a bit more sign him up for Fall or Winter league rec sport. Fwiw, DS is doing soccer in the Fall. I figure 1x mid week practice + 1 Sat game is a good balance to break up the routine a bit, but plenty of time for free play (plus, his buddy from down the street is doing it too). |
Anonymous
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Gosh if anything I’d say you’re putting him at an advantage by giving him free time, if anything.
Also as an aside I joined XC and track in high school as a novice. It was a phenomenal experience and I ended up running in college I loved it so much. No need to start every sport in kindergarten. |
Anonymous
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I'd join something to make sure you get to meet other families and he gets to know kids from school. Networks start to form in kindergarten and you don't want to be entirely left out. If you don't meet other families you'll be left off of birthday party invites and other social gatherings.
Scouts is a great way to get to know other kids and families. It tends to be 1-2 times a month and is very social. Our rec soccer teams are also by elementary school and are another great way to make friends. My daughter doesn't even like soccer, but loves her rec team. It most of her friends in her grade and they are awful but have a fabulous time. Another option in some communities is attending church. |
Anonymous
| Learning to swim is important. Reading also. Otherwise let him enjoy some time as a child. |
Anonymous
Agree with this. My rising 1st grader is playing soccer this fall for the first time, at his request after lots of recess soccer play during kindergarten. One practice per week plus a saturday game. I found the adjustment to kindergarten to be pretty tiring for him so OP I think you have the right idea not to overschedule that first year! Not sure where you are, but you could also look into some county rec programs- DS did a round of tennis lessons over the winter which was fun, cheap and low commitment (6 weeks I think). Your PTA might organize some afterschool activities at the school as well. |
Anonymous
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It’s fine, OP. BUT I would continue to explore his passions. Have art supplies available after school and play music (and talk about music). Play games, board and sports, with him after school. Read to him a lot.
And if you have access to an indoor pool, definitely do swim classes on the weekends. |
Anonymous
| No, not at all. |
Anonymous
| We did it your way and my middle schooler now happily participates in sports and activities. I do think that ample free play gave an edge up in leadership and self-direction, which some kids who always had adults leading their activities struggle with. They are worse at soccer, but never was really interested in that to begin with. They caught up in swimming pretty quickly to their peers who had lessons. They read a ton and are creative. |
Anonymous
| I wouldn’t bother signing him up for anything else unless he asks. |
Anonymous
| As long as they know how to swim you’re good to go. |
Anonymous
| Strange question. Just chill. Damn ain’t no lebron James in the final at 5 |
Anonymous
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Just send your kid outside to play. Adults have to be scheduled. Why should a child have to worry about lots and lots of schedules? I've been a mother for 30 years. Six children. I never signed my young children up for activities. HS is the time for all that.
I gave them freedom to run and to play and to have fun. Life is meant to be enjoyed, not endured. The whole world is an adventure waiting to happen, if you aren't scheduled to the max. |
Anonymous
| You can find a happy balance. You don't have to go all ourt on 1 extrene with overscheduling an activity 3/4/5x a week, but you might also want to think about 1 activity especially as Winter approaches (shorter day light, too cold to play outside too long, his neighborhood friends aren't around bc they're doing Scouts, sports, whatever). |