Just got a sad letter from my 11-year-old

[Anonymous]

I remember my mom saying that she thought all my letters home from camp were sad. I had a pretty good time at camp overall. I think kids often write the letters when they are feeling down or homesick, so they reflect that moment. It doesn't mean he felt like that the whole time.

However, if he didn't like it, that's ok too. He doesn't have to go back next year, or he could try a different camp.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP just call the camp and explain you got a sad letter and you want to check how he’s doing. Ask for a call back from the counselor or camp staff - don’t ask to talk to your son (unless they arrange a call on his birthday?) Most likely he wrote the letter a week ago in a bout of homesickness and you will hear he is totally fine!

I received a sad homesick letter from my 11 year old this year too. Fortunately due to mail delays I received it the same day as a happy letter, that was clearly written after the sad one. And she came home having had an absolutely wonderful time and wants to return next year. We laughed about the sad letter - she said she was just feeling sad that night.

I’m convinced all the “go pick him up” shaming posters are just against sleepaway camps for whatever reason. Fine, don’t send your kid then, but geez, what terrible advice they’re giving!!

+1, reach out to the camp and check in on how he’s doing. My 10 year old went to a week long sleepaway camp for the first time this year and she told me that she and the girls had one night where they talked about being homesick and some of them cried a little bit, but they got each other through it and by the end of the week they had all made a pact that they would come to camp together again next year. She also wants to try to do more than 1 week away next summer because she had a great time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, can you coordinate with the camp to allow you to give your kid a call and see if you can gauge whether they were feeling momentarily homesick or whether this camp isn't working and they really do want to come home?

I'm going to discourage this tactic. If you want to call to talk to the staff to make sure the kid is ok, maybe do that - although I think that is unnecessary too, they will call you if its a really bad problem. But talking to the kid directly could bring up feelings of homesickness even if they were otherwise having a fantastic time. I went to camp as a kid, and the only time I felt any twinges of homesickness was was on visiting day. Even then, I got over it pretty soon after they left.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP just call the camp and explain you got a sad letter and you want to check how he’s doing. Ask for a call back from the counselor or camp staff - don’t ask to talk to your son (unless they arrange a call on his birthday?) Most likely he wrote the letter a week ago in a bout of homesickness and you will hear he is totally fine!

I received a sad homesick letter from my 11 year old this year too. Fortunately due to mail delays I received it the same day as a happy letter, that was clearly written after the sad one. And she came home having had an absolutely wonderful time and wants to return next year. We laughed about the sad letter - she said she was just feeling sad that night.

I’m convinced all the “go pick him up” shaming posters are just against sleepaway camps for whatever reason. Fine, don’t send your kid then, but geez, what terrible advice they’re giving!!

This is the right answer. You definitely don't need to rush to pick him up, people posting that obviously have no idea how sleepaway camps work. I went to camp for 8 summers and never saw a kid get picked up early for homesickness, even though lots of kids had a day or two that they felt sad. When I was a counselor we knew exactly how to handle it and kids always turned it around. And at most camps birthdays are super fun! You can celebrate with him when he gets home.

[Anonymous]

When my sister and I went to sleep away camp and wrote sad letters home we meant them and didn't like camp.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When my sister and I went to sleep away camp and wrote sad letters home we meant them and didn't like camp.

And some on here are contradicting the OPs child as if they know his feelings and advising OP to dismiss those feelings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When my sister and I went to sleep away camp and wrote sad letters home we meant them and didn't like camp.

And some on here are contradicting the OPs child as if they know his feelings and advising OP to dismiss those feelings.

Except that she received another letter that was happy. Should that feeling be dismissed?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When my sister and I went to sleep away camp and wrote sad letters home we meant them and didn't like camp.

And some on here are contradicting the OPs child as if they know his feelings and advising OP to dismiss those feelings.

Except that she received another letter that was happy. Should that feeling be dismissed?

That was the first letter, they had a follow up letter with child not being happy and wanting to see family for birthday. Stop twisting it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP just call the camp and explain you got a sad letter and you want to check how he’s doing. Ask for a call back from the counselor or camp staff - don’t ask to talk to your son (unless they arrange a call on his birthday?) Most likely he wrote the letter a week ago in a bout of homesickness and you will hear he is totally fine!

I received a sad homesick letter from my 11 year old this year too. Fortunately due to mail delays I received it the same day as a happy letter, that was clearly written after the sad one. And she came home having had an absolutely wonderful time and wants to return next year. We laughed about the sad letter - she said she was just feeling sad that night.

I’m convinced all the “go pick him up” shaming posters are just against sleepaway camps for whatever reason. Fine, don’t send your kid then, but geez, what terrible advice they’re giving!!

+ a million.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, can you coordinate with the camp to allow you to give your kid a call and see if you can gauge whether they were feeling momentarily homesick or whether this camp isn't working and they really do want to come home?

I'm going to discourage this tactic. If you want to call to talk to the staff to make sure the kid is ok, maybe do that - although I think that is unnecessary too, they will call you if its a really bad problem. But talking to the kid directly could bring up feelings of homesickness even if they were otherwise having a fantastic time. I went to camp as a kid, and the only time I felt any twinges of homesickness was was on visiting day. Even then, I got over it pretty soon after they left.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When my sister and I went to sleep away camp and wrote sad letters home we meant them and didn't like camp.

Ok so you didn’t like camp and were sad and came home and didn’t need to go back the next year. We get it. You don’t need to project your own unhappy experience on this child, who is allowed to express a feeling about a moment in time without it meaning he hates camp and must be rescued immediately.

[Anonymous]

Go pick him up already! how old is he anyway?!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When my sister and I went to sleep away camp and wrote sad letters home we meant them and didn't like camp.

Ok so you didn’t like camp and were sad and came home and didn’t need to go back the next year. We get it. You don’t need to project your own unhappy experience on this child, who is allowed to express a feeling about a moment in time without it meaning he hates camp and must be rescued immediately.

And you know this child and how he is feeling? That’s amazing that you know this through this thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Go pick him up already! how old is he anyway?!

This! I don’t know why or how this is so hard to figure out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Go pick him up already! how old is he anyway?!

This! I don’t know why or how this is so hard to figure out.

Not every parent takes the approach to swoop in every time their child has a hard feeling. That hasn’t actually been shown to be a great approach to parenting. It’s ok for kids to have a hard time sometimes. I’m starting to wonder if this is the same poster?? How could do many folks not understand that having a little sadness in your kid isn’t a sign to IMMEDIATELY go “rescue them”.