Does your girls-school high schooler interact at all with boys (or even date/have a boyfriend?)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Young men of quality are still taught to date.

We’ve found the best pair ups came from our country club.

That's funny. My DD refuses to date any boy from our club. She says they have no idea what a tongue is for.

She sounds …. Advanced.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Young men of quality are still taught to date.

We’ve found the best pair ups came from our country club.

That's funny. My DD refuses to date any boy from our club. She says they have no idea what a tongue is for.

This. Those country club boys laugh at how they have girls parents fooled.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So what do we collectively think about Wellesley or Smith?

I went to one, and personally found the women who came from girls high schools to be lacking in social experience when it came to boys during Freshman year, meaning they were more naive. College is when students have a lot more independence and there is a bit more risk in dating and going out in groups imo. I don’t think it’s a problem when you go to an all girls high school because you learn during regular interactions, but I don’t think it’s smart to go to a single sex high school and then attend a women's college where you have a more limited dating pool. I felt like some of these women were taken in by losers who wouldn’t be given the time of day by women with more experience with boy-girl interaction.

[Anonymous]

My daughter is at an all-girl school and she has had no issues interacting with boys outside of school (in sports and another extracurricular activity). If anything, she is super confident and focused on pursuing her interests. So far, she has had no interest in having a boyfriend. I don’t see any awkwardness in interactions because of single-sex environment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I went to NCS, albeit more than twenty years ago.

I really didn’t intermingle much with boys in middle school at all other than during a couple plays.

In high school, I met boys through government club, drama, glee club, and orchestra.

Sta boys are….not the best IMO. I think the all boys environment brews sexism.

I did have a nice boyfriend for my last year or so of high school, an sta guy. In retrospect I don’t even know if that was a good thing because it distracted me from focusing on my friends and my schoolwork. So if it does not happen that’s fine.

In my day, the group you refer to that does know boys tend to go to Beauvoir and often went to Schippens dancing school or at least wooey and sometimes know each other from country club. I don’t know if that dynamic still exists. But I wouldn’t want my daughter to be in that group. Not to slut shame, but they tended to party more and I don’t think the sexual experiences they had were always consensual or positive.

I agree with the dad above not to stress about it. Teenage boys can kinda suck anyway. I think dating in high school is overrated.

I did do some coed summer programs and I think that was good for social development. I also went to a coed college.

STA boys WERE not the best in your opinion and your experience. Your experiences are dated.

As a mom of a couple of NCS girls and an STA boy, I tend to think less of the crowd at NCS these days.

[Anonymous]

I have 2 daughters in high school at NCS.
Last year was very quiet on the boy front which I think was partly to do with Covid as there aren’t as many parties etc, however one daughter starting dating a lovely boy toward the end of the year and both my daughters have made really nice male friendships through their sports. This has been something I am very grateful for. I do think that Covid changed social dynamics though.

[Anonymous]

My DDs knew tons of boys from other schools through the boys they knew in their PK-8 school. They met lots of really nice boys to hang out with, take to dances, date, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have 2 daughters in high school at NCS.
Last year was very quiet on the boy front which I think was partly to do with Covid as there aren’t as many parties etc, however one daughter starting dating a lovely boy toward the end of the year and both my daughters have made really nice male friendships through their sports. This has been something I am very grateful for. I do think that Covid changed social dynamics though.

what sports?

[Anonymous]

My daughter is a rising junior at an all girl’s school. She has male friends with whom she hangs out pretty regularly but she doesn’t have a boyfriend. She’s very driven and super focused on academics and friends. She has decided that she wants to attend a coed college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have 2 daughters in high school at NCS.
Last year was very quiet on the boy front which I think was partly to do with Covid as there aren’t as many parties etc, however one daughter starting dating a lovely boy toward the end of the year and both my daughters have made really nice male friendships through their sports. This has been something I am very grateful for. I do think that Covid changed social dynamics though.

what sports?

Probably swimming or track/cross country Im assuming. Those are the only two sports that are coed other than crew.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My daughter is a rising junior at an all girl’s school. She has male friends with whom she hangs out pretty regularly but she doesn’t have a boyfriend. She’s very driven and super focused on academics and friends. She has decided that she wants to attend a coed college.

where did she meet the male friends?

[Anonymous]

The problem is that there are lots of kids at these schools who truly have zero interaction with the other sex.

I was shocked when I realized my friend's son (HS senior) has zero female friends or even acquaintances. He doesn't follow any female friends on Instagram, and he doesn't have a single teen girl's cell phone number. He literally has no interactions with teen girls either online or IRL. His dad insists that the boy is interested in meeting girls and says that he talks about how much he'd like to have a girlfriend, so it's not as if he isn't wanting that. The sad fact is that he lost all touch with the girls he knew from middle school, he has no activities through which to meet girls outside of school in a casual way, and he has no practice talking with girls as just normal people and potential friends. Without that, it's pretty difficult to make the leap all the way to initiating a romantic relationship with a perfect stranger. Yes, he has a sister, but she's much older than him. He has a few female cousins who live in California. Those female interactions are pretty useless to him when it comes to helping him feel comfortable forming friendships with teen girls who are his age.

For normal teen boys who aren't especially attractive to teen girls or really confident and outgoing, the all boys setting can present serious pitfalls when it comes to normal adolescent social development if you're not careful as a parent. For the "popular" guys it's much easier because girls will usually have no qualms about approaching them while out and about even if they don't know them. I see this all the time with my own daughter and her friends.

[Anonymous]

Does he have friends that are boys? If not, there is a bigger issue. If so, then I would assume he could meet girls through friends, if he wanted to. Likely not many opportunities the last 2 years but that this the case for many in HS and college. DS is at an all boys school. He works with a number of girls and is still in contact with girls from MS.

[Anonymous]

I think it's hardest for the girls who come from Beauvoir or otherwise start the all-girls school in elementary. in my experience, by high school many of them have no contact with their elementary school friends. My daughter's friends
who have the hardest time getting friend dates for dances, etc are the Beauvoir girls because they don't have recent male friendships. (Your kid's mileage may vary--but this is what I've observed among a circle of girls).
Those girls come in middle or high school often keep up opposite-sex friendships. However, Covid made it all harder because many kids lost these more peripheral friendships. My daughter joined the class in middle school and
used to have a lot of boy friendships from her previous school but then Covid happened and they basically ended. STA boys seem to be difficult to figure out. Many want nothing to do with NCS girls and are sometimes
even quite negative about them. Others do but they're often the less social boys who aren't seeking out a lot of contact at baseline.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My daughter is at an all-girl school and she has had no issues interacting with boys outside of school (in sports and another extracurricular activity). If anything, she is super confident and focused on pursuing her interests. So far, she has had no interest in having a boyfriend. I don’t see any awkwardness in interactions because of single-sex environment.

Yes because she has no interest in boys and does not interact with them. It sounds like you do not want to see any issues and therefore you do not.