Finding the right nanny to grow with us

[Anonymous]

We used a nanny agency and looked for a nanny which has a history is staying with families for many years.

Some Nannies like infants/younger kids and won’t stay once they get older. Household management is a while different job and requires different skill sets. If your nanny hasn’t done it before they may find they don’t like it.

Our nanny was mid-50s when we met her, had a history of staying with families 5+ years, had done both all nanny positions and nanny-manager positions. She likes both and transitioned in nanny-house manager when our youngest started preschool. We hope she stays with us until kids are all in high school - 10 more years. At this point, her household management is what allows me to keep working.

We had a different nanny when my youngest was an infant and I quickly realized that she liked babies and young toddlers. She was wonderful with them, but as oldest DC turned 4, we knew we needed someone else - nanny enjoyed our younger kids much more than our oldest. When youngest turned 2 and oldest was 6, we started looking for a new nanny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We used a nanny agency and looked for a nanny which has a history is staying with families for many years.

Some Nannies like infants/younger kids and won’t stay once they get older. Household management is a while different job and requires different skill sets. If your nanny hasn’t done it before they may find they don’t like it.

Our nanny was mid-50s when we met her, had a history of staying with families 5+ years, had done both all nanny positions and nanny-manager positions. She likes both and transitioned in nanny-house manager when our youngest started preschool. We hope she stays with us until kids are all in high school - 10 more years. At this point, her household management is what allows me to keep working.

We had a different nanny when my youngest was an infant and I quickly realized that she liked babies and young toddlers. She was wonderful with them, but as oldest DC turned 4, we knew we needed someone else - nanny enjoyed our younger kids much more than our oldest. When youngest turned 2 and oldest was 6, we started looking for a new nanny.

A nanny is not a "which" but a "who.". She is a person not a thing. Once you understand the difference maybe she will stay with you!

[Anonymous]

Be prepared to lose several Nannys. It's just how it goes. They will seem great in interviews and turn out to be a bad fit, they will move, have babies etc. It is very, very rare to have one nanny for 10+ years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Be prepared to lose several Nannys. It's just how it goes. They will seem great in interviews and turn out to be a bad fit, they will move, have babies etc. It is very, very rare to have one nanny for 10+ years.

No, it does happen fairly frequently (at least in my circle) that you have the same nanny for your children’s complete childhood. We’ve had our nanny for over eight years; my boss has had her nanny for seven years, my bff is going on seven years…. Our nanny also sees the same nannies in the park and classes with the same families for years. I could go on and on with examples. We all pay well, have annual raises, and truly love our nannies and consider them family.

I don’t think it’s rare at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Be prepared to lose several Nannys. It's just how it goes. They will seem great in interviews and turn out to be a bad fit, they will move, have babies etc. It is very, very rare to have one nanny for 10+ years.

No, it does happen fairly frequently (at least in my circle) that you have the same nanny for your children’s complete childhood. We’ve had our nanny for over eight years; my boss has had her nanny for seven years, my bff is going on seven years…. Our nanny also sees the same nannies in the park and classes with the same families for years. I could go on and on with examples. We all pay well, have annual raises, and truly love our nannies and consider them family.

I don’t think it’s rare at all.

The ones who pay their nannies well, compensate with the addition of other kids, don't try to overwork them, and have other help when needed keep their nannies. The cheap ones are the ones who have high turnover.

[Anonymous]

I’m the PP whose nanny stayed 13 years. It wasn’t that rare in my experience. It did tend to be families who paid well and were reasonable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Be prepared to lose several Nannys. It's just how it goes. They will seem great in interviews and turn out to be a bad fit, they will move, have babies etc. It is very, very rare to have one nanny for 10+ years.

No, it does happen fairly frequently (at least in my circle) that you have the same nanny for your children’s complete childhood. We’ve had our nanny for over eight years; my boss has had her nanny for seven years, my bff is going on seven years…. Our nanny also sees the same nannies in the park and classes with the same families for years. I could go on and on with examples. We all pay well, have annual raises, and truly love our nannies and consider them family.

I don’t think it’s rare at all.

+1. We and everyone we know has had the same nanny. This first poster is wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need someone who is young and active. You want them to stick through at least ages 12-13 for kids who aren't even born yet. So you need someone who can not only actively take the kids to the park and play with them in the yard and run with them in activities but will foreseeably be able to do that for another decade.

Someone in theirs 20s to 30s would be optimal.

Disagree. I would go with someone in their forties who has grown with a family before.

Our nanny is 67 and just finished a half marathon so age/youth not always equate with activity. She runs through the park after our 3.5 and 1.5 yr olds and has more energy than I do. The only drawback with our older nanny is that she may want to retire before we’re ready.

I agree that slightly older is better. Most 20 year olds will not stay nannies and will leave to do other things

[Anonymous]

It is not rare for a family to have the same nanny for the entire duration of the children’s childhoods!!! Only bad employers lose their nannies.

Choose wisely, OP, and treat your nanny well and she will want to stay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Be prepared to lose several Nannys. It's just how it goes. They will seem great in interviews and turn out to be a bad fit, they will move, have babies etc. It is very, very rare to have one nanny for 10+ years.

Total nonsense post.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Be prepared to lose several Nannys. It's just how it goes. They will seem great in interviews and turn out to be a bad fit, they will move, have babies etc. It is very, very rare to have one nanny for 10+ years.

- said a really bad employer and person

[Anonymous]

People stay at good jobs. Generally, a nanny loves her charges and wants to stay. I think bad employers drive them off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You can find the best nanny ever but be prepared that life happens: she could move, get married, have kids and decide to stay home and so on.

Nannies are humans. Not subjects or property. What a disgusting post... i didnt know people stillchad the slave owner mentality. Very telling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is not rare for a family to have the same nanny for the entire duration of the children’s childhoods!!! Only bad employers lose their nannies.

Choose wisely, OP, and treat your nanny well and she will want to stay.

Oh please. We had our nanny 7+ years until we moved out of the area, so I agree that if you treat your nanny well, they are more likely to stay, but still life happens, and moves happen, and sometimes people just want to do other things. I think if OP is so hung up on finding a "forever nanny" she's bound to be disappointed. Particularly with a BA, your (good) nanny will have other options.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is not rare for a family to have the same nanny for the entire duration of the children’s childhoods!!! Only bad employers lose their nannies.

Choose wisely, OP, and treat your nanny well and she will want to stay.

Oh please. We had our nanny 7+ years until we moved out of the area, so I agree that if you treat your nanny well, they are more likely to stay, but still life happens, and moves happen, and sometimes people just want to do other things. I think if OP is so hung up on finding a "forever nanny" she's bound to be disappointed. Particularly with a BA, your (good) nanny will have other options.

I think a good employer and good nanny staying together is still the norm.