First overnight trip with new boyfriend and I'm nervous

[Anonymous]

I'm guessing you haven't had kids, OP. Has he?
Honestly, either way, no one expects you to look 20 when you're 40. Your boyfriend is actively choosing to be with you. Focus on that. He could be anywhere but he is spending the weekend with YOU. You got this, you hot, interesting, fun woman!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm guessing you haven't had kids, OP. Has he?
Honestly, either way, no one expects you to look 20 when you're 40. Your boyfriend is actively choosing to be with you. Focus on that. He could be anywhere but he is spending the weekend with YOU. You got this, you hot, interesting, fun woman!

Yeah, I was also wondering who will be watching the kids.

[Anonymous]

Take poopourri. Works way better than after-the-fact sprays or matches.

Second, your natural face can't look nuttier than how it looks to sleep in a full face of makeup! Omg, OP, stop that!

[Anonymous]

I would worry about stuff like that when I was in my twenties…..but in middle-age after four months you shouldn’t stress too much about it.

It’s kind of weird for you to fall asleep w/out cleansing your skin.
Doing so over time can give you really a horrible complexion.

I wouldn’t be as self-conscious about a guy seeing me natural + freshly showered.

I would be more terrified that he would hear me fart in my sleep or that I would get really bad diarrhea from eating too much or maybe from eating something bad.
Or maybe getting constipated by holding in your 💩.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm surprised you've dated for 4 months and haven't farted or pooped around each other. You guys need to loosen up.

Also, most men love women best when they're less dolled up and more natural. They're not naive about how aging works.

I know many women who have dated long-term & even lived together who do not poop around their S/O’s.

Melissa Gorga from The Real Housewives of New Jersey famously has never done no.#2 around her husband Joe.

A tip:
Take a hot, steamy 🧖🏻‍♀️ shower alone & lock the bathroom door.
Use the deadbolt if it really is an issue for you.

Then run the shower + poop before you get in.
Flush the toilet, hop in the shower.
Then when you are done > the steam of the shower has taken away any bad smell, you are freshly cleaned EVERYwhere + your partner is none the wiser since he heard nothing since the sound of the water running blocked out any toilet farts or heavy plopping sounds.

You’re welcome.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm guessing you haven't had kids, OP. Has he?
Honestly, either way, no one expects you to look 20 when you're 40. Your boyfriend is actively choosing to be with you. Focus on that. He could be anywhere but he is spending the weekend with YOU. You got this, you hot, interesting, fun woman!

Yeah, I was also wondering who will be watching the kids.

I wasn't wondering about who might be watching any kids, but guessing OP hasn't been humbled by the experience of birthing a child and coming to accept and even be proud of her body. I find I am so much more confident now in my saggy boobs, round tummy, etc, than I ever was when I objectively looked amazing.

It's all really so much more about confidence than our various imperfections, which the right person will actually find attractive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm guessing you haven't had kids, OP. Has he?
Honestly, either way, no one expects you to look 20 when you're 40. Your boyfriend is actively choosing to be with you. Focus on that. He could be anywhere but he is spending the weekend with YOU. You got this, you hot, interesting, fun woman!

Yeah, I was also wondering who will be watching the kids.

I wasn't wondering about who might be watching any kids, but guessing OP hasn't been humbled by the experience of birthing a child and coming to accept and even be proud of her body. I find I am so much more confident now in my saggy boobs, round tummy, etc, than I ever was when I objectively looked amazing.

It's all really so much more about confidence than our various imperfections, which the right person will actually find attractive.

OP: we both have kids who will be with their other parent this weekend. I am confident in my body as I'm very active and my bf tells me all the time that he finds me "insanely attractive", hot, gorgeous, etc. However, dating after divorce is kind of weird. My exH used to call me terrible names and that I had a brain the size of a pea, so I think that took a toll.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’d be more worried about pooping than makeup.

OMG I got so constipated the first time I went away for the weekend with a new boyfriend (a hundred years ago, relationship now long over). I ended up trying to poop in a public bathroom but then I was still stuck, and was in the bathroom for like 45 minutes while he was waiting for me at the restaurant. It was really embarrassing - and uncomfortable! We still had a load of fun that weekend, though. New relationships are exciting - first trips are exciting. Everything's new and fun! Enjoy, OP - I hope you have a great time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm guessing you haven't had kids, OP. Has he?
Honestly, either way, no one expects you to look 20 when you're 40. Your boyfriend is actively choosing to be with you. Focus on that. He could be anywhere but he is spending the weekend with YOU. You got this, you hot, interesting, fun woman!

Yeah, I was also wondering who will be watching the kids.

Prbly both parents just plan to leave them in dog crates for the long weekend, now that you mention it. They probably hadn't even considered what to do with the kids till you brought it up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He’s seen your b*tthole! Don’t worry about your face and hair.

Ha! For real OP. Loosen up. And stop wearing makeup to sleep. It ages your skin.

[Anonymous]

OP, first trip away with my once-boyfriend to Dominican Republic resulted in him getting massive diarrhea from the food lasting a good 24 hours. Didn't care then, wouldn't care now. We've been married 15 years.
Just go have fun and take that make up off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:[guardian]

Anonymous wrote:He knows you poop, fyi.

and his poop is stinky too, run the fan and use normal body spray for few puffs after #2

he’ll only care about the sex, really, do something special, shave it all or something

Shaving your pubic hair is out of fashion, not actually good for your health, you end up with stubble, and you are mimicing being pre-pubescent. Not so special.

[Anonymous]

OP, I get that you are nervous, but the first step to personal freedom is stopping using so much makeup that somebody seeing you without make up would be a problem.

[Anonymous]

Seinfeld two-faced girlfriend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I was nervous about these things too for our first trip together with my DH, I think it's normal. But I bet you care a lot more about this stuff than your boyfriend does, so don't let your worries sidetrack you from having fun and enjoying your trip. FWIW our first trip was a disaster lol, but we are still together.

op: thank you. Good to hear. Why was it a disaster?

Yeah I was nervous about all the things - stinky poops, farting in my sleep, and just spending so much time together all at once. But he didn't care about any of those things, even though I was mortified.

It wasn't a disaster for any of those reasons though - it was because it was a poorly planned trip, and he had a really bad reaction to the time difference - his brain shut down and he was loopy for days and I had to babysit him.

I also had a bad first trip with my now-husband. We were just friends at the time and he got super drunk and threw up in the bushes at a Subway, propositioned the man and woman behind the counter, and stole the money in the charity donation box. I never saw him that drunk again and we've been together for 27 years.