Is it messed up to not save for your kids college even if you can afford it?

[Anonymous]

We've always saved only the minimum for tax purposes (4K?) However the grandparents pay for college for mine. I agree that not everyone should go to college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m saving for my kids college education so they can graduate without any debt; however there will be strings attached. I will only pay for certain degrees, such as Engineering. Maybe premed if they show good promise, but I’d prefer a 4 years and our degree. Grades will need to be good. My kids will need to work summer jobs beginning at 15 and pay me what they can do that they have at least some skin in the game.

If they can’t do the above but still want higher education they can redeem themselves going to community college.

My husband has a degree in history and made $4.5m last year. How about you?

[Anonymous]

We are saving for higher education. However it does not have to be college. It can be a trade school or some sort of practical training and then seed money to eventually start their own business. It had been drilled into our kids from day 1 to never work for someone. Always be your own boss. Risk + perseverance=reward

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m saving for my kids college education so they can graduate without any debt; however there will be strings attached. I will only pay for certain degrees, such as Engineering. Maybe premed if they show good promise, but I’d prefer a 4 years and our degree. Grades will need to be good. My kids will need to work summer jobs beginning at 15 and pay me what they can do that they have at least some skin in the game.

If they can’t do the above but still want higher education they can redeem themselves going to community college.

This is awful and your kids will pay in years of therapy for how controlling you are as a parent - only pay for certain degrees like Engineering or premed if promise? Wow.

I see where PP is coming from, although it is controlling. Please read How to Raise an Adult.

My expectation is that when my kids get there they will make the decisions I am happy with without any guidance from me.

"Train up a child in the way (s)he should go: and when (s)he is old, (s)he will not depart from it."

[Anonymous]

DH had to pay his way through college and he promised himself that he would not do the same to his kids. For various reasons we were not able to save nearly as much as we would have liked, but we did save enough to cover in-state tuition and room and board. They need to have their own spending money and purchase books to have “skin in the game”. We also let them knew we expect them to keep grades up. Our kids are good students and education is important to us. We told our kids what we could afford and that if they chose private or OOS they would need good merit aid. They did get some very generous awards but the schools were still going to be 50k to 100k out of pocket after 4 years and that’s just not something we could afford for 3. We explained they could borrow but they were practical about what they’d gain in exchange for debt and chose UMD. I do feel badly their options were limited by our finances as in our community money does not seem to be a factor in selecting a college. Yet, I’m also grateful they will graduate debt free (as are they!). A lot do kids don’t have that option at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes it’s messed up

+1

Kids don't become adults on the morning of their eighteenth birthdays. Launching is a process and requires resources of all kinds, including money. People who have the means to support their kids' launching process have the moral obligation IMO to do so. This is even more important now than it was in previous generations (again IMO) because the costs of education, healthcare, and housing especially have escalated out of proportion to income.

OP, the data tell us that having a college degree will enable a person to earn more money than if that person didn't have the degree. There are exceptions to that, of course, but on the whole that is the fact of the matter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Millennial here, went to a state school in the early 2010's and paid my way through because parents didn't have the money, and I still graduated with 40k in debt which I paid off in 3 years thanks to a decent starting salary (thank you CS degree). Now I make several times more and my wife is pregnant with our first kid, so thinking about college savings, but reading these forums it seems like everyone is obsessed with fully funding their kids college education. Why should I feel obligated to do so when 1) lots of college degrees these days are completely worthless and won't give anywhere close to a good ROI and 2) higher education is in a massive debt fueled bubble and maybe I don't want to help fuel it by paying extremely inflated tuition costs? I have a lot of friends who aren't in a financial position to contribute to 529's even if they wanted to, yet they still have kids. Honestly I think there's too much emphasis on saving for college given that so many degrees are worthless and the bubble just keeps expanding with all this free government money flowing into higher ed. Not every person should even go to college.

So you went to college, have a good job because of it, recognizer that it costs much more than it did when you went, but don't want to save for your kid's education because some degrees are worthless, and it costs a lot?

OK.

And party of your rationale is that you have friends who can't save for college, and they still have kids, so you shouldn't have to either, even though you *can* save.

Wow.

[Anonymous]

Things are different now, my friend.

I was told not to graduate with more debt than I would make during my first year of employment. I think that was really sound advice and lead to my making some very sound financial decisions. I majored in English but I went to a cheap school and graduated with little debt, substantially less than my starting salary.

But as you say, the price has risen and has far outpaced the rise in salaries. I’m in Virginia and right now the estimated cost of attending JMU (in state) is about 30K. If someone did that all with loans, they would start their professional lives 120K in the red. The major with the highest starting salary (software developer I think?) pays like 110 to start.

So even choosing the highest-paying salary at a state school won’t get you to the point where you can reasonably pay off those loans unless you have help or work a lot during school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m saving for my kids college education so they can graduate without any debt; however there will be strings attached. I will only pay for certain degrees, such as Engineering. Maybe premed if they show good promise, but I’d prefer a 4 years and our degree. Grades will need to be good. My kids will need to work summer jobs beginning at 15 and pay me what they can do that they have at least some skin in the game.

If they can’t do the above but still want higher education they can redeem themselves going to community college.

My husband has a degree in history and made $4.5m last year. How about you?

Umm..what did YOU make? Riding the DH coattails I see. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

You can use the 529 money for high School tuition too. You can't be sure even for the first child is born that public high school is going to work for all of your kids. Take advantage of the tax benefits to at least finance modest account. As for not wanting to support bloated college costs, reach out to your elected representatives to seek legislative and policy changes since overly generous policies are what has driven high college costs. Your individual decision about financing your own child's education is not going to make a difference in the overall system.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m saving for my kids college education so they can graduate without any debt; however there will be strings attached. I will only pay for certain degrees, such as Engineering. Maybe premed if they show good promise, but I’d prefer a 4 years and our degree. Grades will need to be good. My kids will need to work summer jobs beginning at 15 and pay me what they can do that they have at least some skin in the game.

If they can’t do the above but still want higher education they can redeem themselves going to community college.

My husband has a degree in history and made $4.5m last year. How about you?

Umm..what did YOU make? Riding the DH coattails I see. Good luck!

Stay on topic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m saving for my kids college education so they can graduate without any debt; however there will be strings attached. I will only pay for certain degrees, such as Engineering. Maybe premed if they show good promise, but I’d prefer a 4 years and our degree. Grades will need to be good. My kids will need to work summer jobs beginning at 15 and pay me what they can do that they have at least some skin in the game.

If they can’t do the above but still want higher education they can redeem themselves going to community college.

My husband has a degree in history and made $4.5m last year. How about you?

Was this just to brag or do you really expect everyone to be an outlier?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We don’t care if YOU don’t save money for your children. More room for my kid.

This. Do what you want. Competition is fierce, happy to take your kids' spot.

[Anonymous]

I cannot even remotely relate to your train of thought. I think people should give you grade because you are still a selfish person who is not yet a parent. You have absolutely no idea what you are getting into and the emotional nod you (hopefully!) will have with your kid and the biological drive to give your kid the best start in life.

Everything we do in life is for our kids.

[Anonymous]

The biggest counterargument to OP's idea is that not saving money for your kid's college tuition, if you can afford it, won't do anything to fix the very real underlying structural problems with the whole system. The kids still won't qualify for aid, because they come from a family that could otherwise pay. So if they want to go to college, they'll just wind up with lots of debt -- exactly the situation OP is rightly objecting to in the case of students whose families can't afford to save.

It's a dilemma, OP, but ultimately, you're not really helping anyone by opting out... so I'd probably go ahead and opt in. That's what we've done, though I could certainly think of more interesting ways to use the money we've saved in 529s over the years.