Is it messed up to not save for your kids college even if you can afford it?

[Anonymous]

Millennial here, went to a state school in the early 2010's and paid my way through because parents didn't have the money, and I still graduated with 40k in debt which I paid off in 3 years thanks to a decent starting salary (thank you CS degree). Now I make several times more and my wife is pregnant with our first kid, so thinking about college savings, but reading these forums it seems like everyone is obsessed with fully funding their kids college education. Why should I feel obligated to do so when 1) lots of college degrees these days are completely worthless and won't give anywhere close to a good ROI and 2) higher education is in a massive debt fueled bubble and maybe I don't want to help fuel it by paying extremely inflated tuition costs? I have a lot of friends who aren't in a financial position to contribute to 529's even if they wanted to, yet they still have kids. Honestly I think there's too much emphasis on saving for college given that so many degrees are worthless and the bubble just keeps expanding with all this free government money flowing into higher ed. Not every person should even go to college.

[Anonymous]

That’s a hot take! You have some good points. But I suspect if we check back in 10 years, you’ll have gotten swept up in the 529 current like the rest of us… peer pressure and fear of debt is too strong…

[Anonymous]

I think a lot of people believe it’s good not to pay the whole thing so kids have skin in the game. And fully funding is a DMV thing, it’s not universal. Same with the idea that every kid should aim for college. Finally there are other ways of providing for college besides saving in advance. In our case we did a prepaid and also scheduled our debt to be done by the time we have any kids who might go to college so we’d have the ability to pay if we choose.

[Anonymous]

Yes it’s messed up

[Anonymous]

We don’t care if YOU don’t save money for your children. More room for my kid.

[Anonymous]

Why should you save for college?

Because learning for learnings sake is important (college, believe it or not, is not meant to be vocational or technical school)

Because your child may be more interested in helping others (Social Worker) or working for something they passionately believe in (non profit NGO or arts organization or political policy group) which all have crappy salaries, and with school loans, they'll be paying on them for decades

Because you love your child and can afford to give them the choices in life you did not have

Just for fun, following your own theory that you shouldn't pay for college, what happens if your child chooses NOT to attend because they'd don't want the debt, or, sense that you do not value a college degree (that is my take)? Studies show those with only a HS degree earn far less over their lifetime than those who earn a college degree. Is this what you want for your child?

[Anonymous]

So are you saying that you don’t think your kid should go to college because a degree is worthless, so you’re not going to bother saving? Or is it just that you want them to pay their own way at a state school, if they choose to take that path?

I don’t disagree with the idea of having “skin in the game”, etc. but that doesn’t seem to be where you’re coming from.
There is a risk you’ll be limiting your kid’s options, although I get that you paid your own way and have been very successful. But obviously your degree wasn’t worthless.

[Anonymous]

I’m saving for my kids college education so they can graduate without any debt; however there will be strings attached. I will only pay for certain degrees, such as Engineering. Maybe premed if they show good promise, but I’d prefer a 4 years and our degree. Grades will need to be good. My kids will need to work summer jobs beginning at 15 and pay me what they can do that they have at least some skin in the game.

If they can’t do the above but still want higher education they can redeem themselves going to community college.

[Anonymous]

I think it’s about ultimately wanting options for your kid. Who knows what they are going to want out of life or what the state of higher education will even be like. You don’t need to have it in an earmarked account but if you can save something and you can use it for college, rehab, circus training, seed money for the tech firm they will start in your garage, etc.

Also, your actual kid is going to change all your expectations on how you will parent. Although I would never have admitted it when I was pregnant, I was imagining a little miniature me. And they are their own people. It’s amazing and super frustrating.

[Anonymous]

The most important thing is that you make it clear when your kids are in middle school that you aren’t going to finance any college or only x amount. If your hhi is decent your DC won’t qualify for financial aid so it will impact where they can go. It is important your DC knows their options are limited early on.

[Anonymous]

I actually have the same question as OP except that it’s really not clear we can “afford” it. I mean, we can afford to save something but it’s entirely unclear how much. We are extremely not rich (HHI of 120k). Every year it’s this dance of how much do we put in retirement, how much for college savings for our kid, how much do we allow ourselves some handful of basic enjoyments (vacations, restaurant dinners) so that our life isn’t just a slog of work, school, and saving every penny for a an unknown future.

Sometimes saving for college feels futile because if our kid went to college today, we’d qualify for a lot of aid at many schools. So every dollar in the 529 feels like a meaningless depletion of our aid award. Obviously any school will just take what’s in the 529, so why not sign our kid up for dance classes she wants even if it means saving less for college? Why not go ahead and take a trip on an airplane instead of exclusively doing road trips for vacation, since 20 years from now we might all appreciate that more memorable vacation more than an extra $1200+compound interest in the college fund.

These are the questions that plague me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m saving for my kids college education so they can graduate without any debt; however there will be strings attached. I will only pay for certain degrees, such as Engineering. Maybe premed if they show good promise, but I’d prefer a 4 years and our degree. Grades will need to be good. My kids will need to work summer jobs beginning at 15 and pay me what they can do that they have at least some skin in the game.

If they can’t do the above but still want higher education they can redeem themselves going to community college.

Yikes. This maybe worse than not paying at all. So sad that you will only deem your child worthy if you get to choose their life. And parents wonder why adult kids cur them out of their lives.

[Anonymous]

As someone already said, a multitude of reasons but the only one you need is that you love your child, can afford this and want them to have opportunities you did not.
Maybe your goal isn’t to fully fund, which is valid. But to save nothing for them when you have the means is a d&@k move.

[Anonymous]

If the 529 is too limiting for you, save $$ in another place.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As someone already said, a multitude of reasons but the only one you need is that you love your child, can afford this and want them to have opportunities you did not.
Maybe your goal isn’t to fully fund, which is valid. But to save nothing for them when you have the means is a d&@k move.

+1 especially because, as PP mentioned, your income will mean they are very limited in aid. The financial aid system assumes parents are contributing. Also, they can take out very little in loans on their own. You will need to co-sign.