Is it messed up to not save for your kids college even if you can afford it?

[Anonymous]

OP, I live in Maryland and my son attends UMD College Park. Tuition is about $10,000 a year ( more for CS majors). If he worked summers and 20 hours a week, I thin he could manage to cover that on his own, but he would possibly also need to take out about $5000 a year on student loans.

But he would need to live at home to save on food and rent/dorms. So factor that into your calculations. If your child will work their way through college are you prepared to have them live with you the whole time and attend a local college?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m saving for my kids college education so they can graduate without any debt; however there will be strings attached. I will only pay for certain degrees, such as Engineering. Maybe premed if they show good promise, but I’d prefer a 4 years and our degree. Grades will need to be good. My kids will need to work summer jobs beginning at 15 and pay me what they can do that they have at least some skin in the game.

If they can’t do the above but still want higher education they can redeem themselves going to community college.

This is awful and your kids will pay in years of therapy for how controlling you are as a parent - only pay for certain degrees like Engineering or premed if promise? Wow.

I see where PP is coming from, although it is controlling. Please read How to Raise an Adult.

My expectation is that when my kids get there they will make the decisions I am happy with without any guidance from me.

"Train up a child in the way (s)he should go: and when (s)he is old, (s)he will not depart from it."

Gag.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH had to pay his way through college and he promised himself that he would not do the same to his kids. For various reasons we were not able to save nearly as much as we would have liked, but we did save enough to cover in-state tuition and room and board. They need to have their own spending money and purchase books to have “skin in the game”. We also let them knew we expect them to keep grades up. Our kids are good students and education is important to us. We told our kids what we could afford and that if they chose private or OOS they would need good merit aid. They did get some very generous awards but the schools were still going to be 50k to 100k out of pocket after 4 years and that’s just not something we could afford for 3. We explained they could borrow but they were practical about what they’d gain in exchange for debt and chose UMD. I do feel badly their options were limited by our finances as in our community money does not seem to be a factor in selecting a college. Yet, I’m also grateful they will graduate debt free (as are they!). A lot do kids don’t have that option at all.

Not to mention “paying your own way through college” isn’t a thing anymore, except maybe community college. Summer jobs and after school jobs are no longer relevant with the crazy costs of even public universities and the limits of what undergraduates can borrow in loans on their own are laughably minuscule in relation to even the cheapest tuition in 2022. It’s not 1985 anymore. Your own experience is irrelevant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m saving for my kids college education so they can graduate without any debt; however there will be strings attached. I will only pay for certain degrees, such as Engineering. Maybe premed if they show good promise, but I’d prefer a 4 years and our degree. Grades will need to be good. My kids will need to work summer jobs beginning at 15 and pay me what they can do that they have at least some skin in the game.

If they can’t do the above but still want higher education they can redeem themselves going to community college.

Tell me you're going to die alone in a nursing home without telling me you're going to die alone in a nursing home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m saving for my kids college education so they can graduate without any debt; however there will be strings attached. I will only pay for certain degrees, such as Engineering. Maybe premed if they show good promise, but I’d prefer a 4 years and our degree. Grades will need to be good. My kids will need to work summer jobs beginning at 15 and pay me what they can do that they have at least some skin in the game.

If they can’t do the above but still want higher education they can redeem themselves going to community college.

My husband has a degree in history and made $4.5m last year. How about you?

Was this just to brag or do you really expect everyone to be an outlier?

I don't have a bone in the fight - I have a degree in econ and applied math - but all the history majors from my class went to law school and they make decent money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m saving for my kids college education so they can graduate without any debt; however there will be strings attached. I will only pay for certain degrees, such as Engineering. Maybe premed if they show good promise, but I’d prefer a 4 years and our degree. Grades will need to be good. My kids will need to work summer jobs beginning at 15 and pay me what they can do that they have at least some skin in the game.

If they can’t do the above but still want higher education they can redeem themselves going to community college.

This is awful and your kids will pay in years of therapy for how controlling you are as a parent - only pay for certain degrees like Engineering or premed if promise? Wow.

I see where PP is coming from, although it is controlling. Please read How to Raise an Adult.

My expectation is that when my kids get there they will make the decisions I am happy with without any guidance from me.

"Train up a child in the way (s)he should go: and when (s)he is old, (s)he will not depart from it."

DP. I literally just read that book, and it describes the exact opposite of what PP is describing. It prescribes letting kids make their own choices and mistakes so they can learn about and value their own strengths, not labor under a domineering, high expectation, achievement-oriented parent who doles out approval and resources based on performance. Perhaps you need to read it again.

[Anonymous]

Too much of my time at college was spent working so I could make rent instead of studying. I don't want my kids to worry about that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Millennial here, went to a state school in the early 2010's and paid my way through because parents didn't have the money, and I still graduated with 40k in debt which I paid off in 3 years thanks to a decent starting salary (thank you CS degree). Now I make several times more and my wife is pregnant with our first kid, so thinking about college savings, but reading these forums it seems like everyone is obsessed with fully funding their kids college education. Why should I feel obligated to do so when 1) lots of college degrees these days are completely worthless and won't give anywhere close to a good ROI and 2) higher education is in a massive debt fueled bubble and maybe I don't want to help fuel it by paying extremely inflated tuition costs? I have a lot of friends who aren't in a financial position to contribute to 529's even if they wanted to, yet they still have kids. Honestly I think there's too much emphasis on saving for college given that so many degrees are worthless and the bubble just keeps expanding with all this free government money flowing into higher ed. Not every person should even go to college.

I don't see how this squares with the rest of what you're saying.

If your salary is that good, perhaps you can just pay out of pocket if you change your mind.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Millennial here, went to a state school in the early 2010's and paid my way through because parents didn't have the money, and I still graduated with 40k in debt which I paid off in 3 years thanks to a decent starting salary (thank you CS degree). Now I make several times more and my wife is pregnant with our first kid, so thinking about college savings, but reading these forums it seems like everyone is obsessed with fully funding their kids college education. Why should I feel obligated to do so when 1) lots of college degrees these days are completely worthless and won't give anywhere close to a good ROI and 2) higher education is in a massive debt fueled bubble and maybe I don't want to help fuel it by paying extremely inflated tuition costs? I have a lot of friends who aren't in a financial position to contribute to 529's even if they wanted to, yet they still have kids. Honestly I think there's too much emphasis on saving for college given that so many degrees are worthless and the bubble just keeps expanding with all this free government money flowing into higher ed. Not every person should even go to college.

Who says college degrees are worthless? I dispute the premise. Yes, there are alternatives— namely, trade school — but the evidence is indisputable that those with a bachelors degree outearn those without dramatically over a lifetime.

The irony of your post is is you just start saving now, compounding is your friend. Think the way you do for a decade and you really will be behind the 8-ball.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes it’s messed up

Super messed up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Too much of my time at college was spent working so I could make rent instead of studying. I don't want my kids to worry about that.

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m saving for my kids college education so they can graduate without any debt; however there will be strings attached. I will only pay for certain degrees, such as Engineering. Maybe premed if they show good promise, but I’d prefer a 4 years and our degree. Grades will need to be good. My kids will need to work summer jobs beginning at 15 and pay me what they can do that they have at least some skin in the game.

If they can’t do the above but still want higher education they can redeem themselves going to community college.

Dear god

[Anonymous]

I don't think college degrees are worthless and apparently neither does Op bc he wouldn't have gotten his "decent paying job (thanks to a CS degree)".

You could argue a Masters and PhD have a bad ROI, but that not the topic.

[Anonymous]

Once your kid is born ,Op, this urge to want better for your kid than what you had will kick in.

- mom to college bound kid

[Anonymous]

College will be around 500k each for kids born today