Have you ever discovered a post on here that you could just tell was written about you?

[Anonymous]

I work in a school and someone referenced me on two different occasions. One of the references was very nice and the other was ... less nice. You win some, you lose some?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Confession time: once I started a thread on here basically posing as someone else and asking for advice about a situation from their point of view, using actual phrases from an email they had sent me (regarding a conflict between us) and staying as true to their argument as possible.

People absolutely eviscerated the OP. It was very satisfying. And actually served as a good gut check for me because I’d reached a point where I was wondering if I was being unreasonable and it was useful to have a bunch of strangers on the internet basically say no, what this person is asking for/complaining about is absolutely unacceptable.

This post sums up DCUM for me. I never take anything on this forum at face value. Actually, I guess it more accurately sums up society. Gaslighting is so prevalent that we have to resort to hiding behind our anonymity to suss out whether we're being gaslighted.

I'm the PP and I guess that's true. Though I didn't at the time think of it as being gaslighted. The issue had been that the people I'd asked for advice knew the person and I think were inclined to give her the benefit of the doubt. I wanted feedback from people who didn't know her because I sensed people in my life were having trouble being objective about the situation. I guess maybe some of them were gaslighting me unintentionally, but it was really a situation of all my usual confidants being too close to the situation. For me, that's one of the ways in which an anonymous board like this is useful. People can be jerks, but they also generally give you a pretty unvarnished take. And sometimes that's what you really need.

[Anonymous]

I've never had anything written about me, but there's someone who posts about my child's school in the FCPS forum regularly (one of very few schools that frequently gets mentioned by name) and I am pretty sure I know who they are.

[Anonymous]

No, but weirdly often I'll have some issue happening in my life and suddenly there's a post from someone else about the exact same thing -- bad mammogram, MIL issue, relationship issue, work issue.

I've become part of the DCUM matrix.

[Anonymous]

I like this website but I live in the south. I only lived in DC once, for a year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've written posts about people that I hope they will see.

+1

Some people are dense, OP.

[Anonymous]

No. I'm too boring to write about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tell me you’re vain without telling me you’re vain.

Or low-key paranoid.

[Anonymous]

I write about stupid shit my husband does and then send it to him when you all agree with me.

[Anonymous]

A while back an unpleasant coworker posted nasty things about me on this site. She did not describe me directly but instead bashed people with my particular living situation/lifestyle. The writing style and timing were dead giveaways.

[Anonymous]

Dont mind me just skimming this thread to see if the person ive written about noticed. ...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I write about stupid shit my husband does and then send it to him when you all agree with me.

[Anonymous]

What?! Noooooo. That seems a bit paranoid tbh

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I write about stupid shit my husband does and then send it to him when you all agree with me.

ME TOO!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A while back an unpleasant coworker posted nasty things about me on this site. She did not describe me directly but instead bashed people with my particular living situation/lifestyle. The writing style and timing were dead giveaways.

See, examples like this are the ones where I think you're probably wrong. Because DCUM is full of people complaining about certain living situations/lifestyles. Whether divorced, happily married, or unhappily married, whether SAHM or working mom or PT mom or WAH mom, whether rich or middle class or struggling. Someone on here will target these groups randomly because this is a judgmental, insecure group.

And I never believe the "writing style" arguments either. You're not a detective. Lots of people sound the same on paper -- most people do not have very unique or identifiable writing styles.

I think you are just paranoid. Your unpleasant coworker might hate you and say nasty things behind your back, but you are almost definitely projecting onto a stranger here.

Unless someone references identifying info or a specific situation, I don't think you can ever assume you know who the writer is. Just saying "ugh, I can't stand professional women who marry well and then quit their jobs to SAHM" is way to broad.