Found out my 15 yr old DS is gay AND sexually active

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Would you be less distressed that he is sexually active if he weren’t gay? I am not sure what your specific concerns are here.

As a generally matter, though, there is fairly little you can do to stop a sexually active teen from continuing the activity. Make sure he is fully informed of the risks and how to keep himself safe, and make sure he has access to condoms.

Just stop.

It depends on the situation and OP is wise to be concerned.

Is he in a good mental place? Is he depressed? Is he having random hookups with older men?

I'm sure many gay boys have a sweet experience of meeting a same age boy and having "firsts" together. But, many don't and feel self-destructive and have run-ins with older men that parents would not consider healthy.

All of this should be a concern for heterosexual sex as well.

Having sex with men is inherently a more risky than having sex with women, the considerations are different and men are more likely to be scumbags. And before you call me a homophobic misandrist for saying this, I am paraphrasing Dan Savage advice to a parent with a gay son from a Savage Love podcast.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Would you be less distressed that he is sexually active if he weren’t gay? I am not sure what your specific concerns are here.

As a generally matter, though, there is fairly little you can do to stop a sexually active teen from continuing the activity. Make sure he is fully informed of the risks and how to keep himself safe, and make sure he has access to condoms.

Just stop.

It depends on the situation and OP is wise to be concerned.

Is he in a good mental place? Is he depressed? Is he having random hookups with older men?

I'm sure many gay boys have a sweet experience of meeting a same age boy and having "firsts" together. But, many don't and feel self-destructive and have run-ins with older men that parents would not consider healthy.

All of this should be a concern for heterosexual sex as well.

Having sex with men is inherently a more risky than having sex with women, the considerations are different and men are more likely to be scumbags. And before you call me a homophobic misandrist for saying this, I am paraphrasing Dan Savage advice to a parent with a gay son from a Savage Love podcast.

Oh, Dan Savage said it? Where did he go to medical school?

Sexually transmitted diseases of all kinds can be spread between men and women. Straight men can get HPV and eventually head and neck cancer from performing oral sex on women. Sexual activity is risky, period.

[Anonymous]

Aw... Jeff deleted my comment! I think it was legit!

[Anonymous]

You must have a really solid relationship if he feels comfortable sharing that with you. No advice other than try to keep the conversation going.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Would you be less distressed that he is sexually active if he weren’t gay? I am not sure what your specific concerns are here.

As a generally matter, though, there is fairly little you can do to stop a sexually active teen from continuing the activity. Make sure he is fully informed of the risks and how to keep himself safe, and make sure he has access to condoms.

Just stop.

It depends on the situation and OP is wise to be concerned.

Is he in a good mental place? Is he depressed? Is he having random hookups with older men?

I'm sure many gay boys have a sweet experience of meeting a same age boy and having "firsts" together. But, many don't and feel self-destructive and have run-ins with older men that parents would not consider healthy.

All of this should be a concern for heterosexual sex as well.

Having sex with men is inherently a more risky than having sex with women, the considerations are different and men are more likely to be scumbags. And before you call me a homophobic misandrist for saying this, I am paraphrasing Dan Savage advice to a parent with a gay son from a Savage Love podcast.

Oh, Dan Savage said it? Where did he go to medical school?

Sexually transmitted diseases of all kinds can be spread between men and women. Straight men can get HPV and eventually head and neck cancer from performing oral sex on women. Sexual activity is risky, period.

99% of people who commit rape are male.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yikes! 15 way too young

According to a recent relationship thread 24 is way too old. DCUM has such a narrow window of time when it’s acceptable to lose your virginity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Would you be less distressed that he is sexually active if he weren’t gay? I am not sure what your specific concerns are here.

As a generally matter, though, there is fairly little you can do to stop a sexually active teen from continuing the activity. Make sure he is fully informed of the risks and how to keep himself safe, and make sure he has access to condoms.

Agree. Intentionally or not, OP’s post is seriously homophobic !

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Would you be less distressed that he is sexually active if he weren’t gay? I am not sure what your specific concerns are here.

As a generally matter, though, there is fairly little you can do to stop a sexually active teen from continuing the activity. Make sure he is fully informed of the risks and how to keep himself safe, and make sure he has access to condoms.

Agree. Intentionally or not, OP’s post is seriously homophobic !

So what. Are you saying that you care more about the post being "homophobic" than you do about OP and her son?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Would you be less distressed that he is sexually active if he weren’t gay? I am not sure what your specific concerns are here.

As a generally matter, though, there is fairly little you can do to stop a sexually active teen from continuing the activity. Make sure he is fully informed of the risks and how to keep himself safe, and make sure he has access to condoms.

Just stop.

It depends on the situation and OP is wise to be concerned.

Is he in a good mental place? Is he depressed? Is he having random hookups with older men?

I'm sure many gay boys have a sweet experience of meeting a same age boy and having "firsts" together. But, many don't and feel self-destructive and have run-ins with older men that parents would not consider healthy.

All of this should be a concern for heterosexual sex as well.

Having sex with men is inherently a more risky than having sex with women, the considerations are different and men are more likely to be scumbags. And before you call me a homophobic misandrist for saying this, I am paraphrasing Dan Savage advice to a parent with a gay son from a Savage Love podcast.

DP.

I thought the danger also included the transmission rate differential for gay male sex?

[Anonymous]

CONDOMS!! (yes meant to shout that).

OP - at a minimum, buy quality condoms (not just the 3-pack. Buy a dozen or more). And put them under the sink where you know for sure he will find them.

Better would be to talk to him (if he’s open to it). Stress the need for condoms - every time; even for oral.

He needs to get the safe-sex part right, from the very start.

[Anonymous]

I agree with PP. I would stress condoms. I would talk to him about talking to his doctor about Truvada/Prep. Let him know you love him and he can come to you any time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Would you be less distressed that he is sexually active if he weren’t gay? I am not sure what your specific concerns are here.

As a generally matter, though, there is fairly little you can do to stop a sexually active teen from continuing the activity. Make sure he is fully informed of the risks and how to keep himself safe, and make sure he has access to condoms.

Agree. Intentionally or not, OP’s post is seriously homophobic !

If you aren't the parent of a gay boy, you shouldn't speak to this matter. You have no place here and your opinion is useless.

[Anonymous]

I think 15 is pretty normal for being sexually active.

[Anonymous]

Gay dad who posted earlier about the doctor again.
I think the OP is very wise and very cautious to find out who her son's partners are... if it's another 15 year old in his world history class who he loves, that's one thing. If it's "a hot 18 year old" from an app, that's entirely another. Technology is not helpful in this situation. Good luck, OP. Hug your son and tell him you love him no matter what.

[Anonymous]

Op here. Looking into Prep. Do they give that to minors?